When I was at school we sang the hymn 'Lord of the Dance' in assembly. I thought the lyrics went;

"Die then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance said he
And I'll kill you all, wherever you may be
And I'll kill you all with the dance, said he."

I honestly thought that Jesus wanted to kill me. It didn't really bother me though and I'm not sure if that was because I just accepted it as normal or because I didn't really believe in God anyway.

Caroline

I used to believe that when we sang the hymn Surely Goodness and Mercy Will Follow You, that we were singing about Shirley and Mercy following us.

Anon

When I was a child, we just to sing this song in church called Victory in Jesus. Part of the lyrics were "He plunged me to victory, beneath the crimson flood." (to understand the next part of this story, you have to know that there was a small town named Hickory that was a few miles from where I lived). Instead of the above lyrics, I always thought it said "He punched me to Hickory, into a sea of blood." I always hated that song because I could just imagine Jesus punched me under the chin, and me flying across the air into this bloody sea.

Chad

I still remember singing "Oh, Santa" -- instead of "Hosanna". Was I embarassed when my Grandmother corrected me!

DLN

When I was little, there was a song called "Lord, Teach Us To Pray". I couldn't read and always thought the words were "with our pots and pans all busy in our private little homes". Years later when I could read, I realized the words were "with our hearts and hands all heavy in our private little wars".

no name in Indiana

Like many others here, I too used to wonder what the deal was with the cross-eyes bear named Gladly. Boy am I relieved to see I'm not the only one who was miguided!

Anon

When I was younger, I didn't understand the words to many of the hymns we sang in church, but there was one that just couldn't be mistaken. When this particular hymn was sung, I would stand, and proudly, whole-heartedly, and in my best, loudest voice sing...."Bringing in the sheep, bringing in the sheep; we will come rejoicing, bringing in the sheeeeeeep."

Kasey'sMom

As a kid, I had a Christmas song book, from which I learned the song "Rise Up Shepherd And Foller". At the time, I didn't recognize "foller" as a dialectical form of "follow". So I thought a "foller" was somebody who, like the shepherds, went to the manger to adore the Christ child. For years, I puzzled over who a "foller" was, and just how follers fit into the Christmas story.

Carla

when I was at school we used to sing the Hymn, the Lord of the Dance. When it got to the chorus, the line went - "Dance Lord wherever you may be i am the Lord of the dance said he" However i thought the line went "dnace Lord wherever you may be I am the Lord of the dance setee" and surprisingly enough imagined the Lord dancing on a sofa!

jen

MY BROTHER LIKED THE SONG "HOW GREAT THOU ART." WHEN THEY SANG IT IN CHURCH. HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE SINGING "I'LL BREAK THOU ARM."

Anon

Not mine, but my husband's -- and not that long ago. He cracked up the choir during a church service by singing "There is a bomb in Goliad!" Considering that a very important battle during the Texas war for independence from Mexico was fought at Goliad, he did have a point.

Texas granny

i used to think that when we sang ' sing hosana sing hosana' in assemblies at school that we was singing about my friends mum who was called rosanna!!! and i used to be so jealous that her mum was so special to be in a song!!!

Emma Jane

How many other people stood on their Bibles after learning, "The B-I-B-L-E, now that's the book for me. I stand alone on the word of God, the B-I-B-L-E!"

Mindy

When I was little, I used to believe that the song " May the Dear Lord Bless You" was about a deer that was a lord in a kingdom and he was saying bless you as if you had just sneezed.

Tabitha

Whe I was a kid, we would sing this one song, "Gladly The Cross I'd Bare." I always thought of it as, and even when I was older and knew better, as an inside joke, "Gladdy The Cross-Eyed Bear." I always pictured a cross-eyed bear romping around, as in a comic. I still get a laugh when I think of it.

Warren Karben

In our baptst church we sing a song entitled "Trust and Obey".  The lyrics in one of the verses say "as we walk by His side IN THE WAY".  We always laugh because it sounds like we are holding up progress.  WE'RE IN THE WAY!  Boy that speaks volumes doesn't it!

choir director in the south.

When I was little, I thought the lyrics for silent night. "so tender and mild" was referring to baby Jesus like he was a piece of meat. I was really confused as to why they were going to eat Jesus.

Anon

A verse of the hymn "The Church's One Foundation" describes the church as follows: "Elect from every nation yet one o'er all the earth." I had never seen "elect" used as a noun before, so I assumed that it was a verb and that the verse was encouraging us to hold an international election to choose one person to be President of the World. I had no idea why.

T2

As a kid at primary school aged about 5 i used to sign "brother no one built the ark" instead of the correct "brother Noah built the ark"

in came the animal 2 by 2

When I heard "Hark! the Herald Angels Sing", I thought the "Harold Angels" were a troupe run by some guy neamed Harold, like the June Taylor Dancers or the King Family.

Mike Ransom