I went to church every Sunday my whole life because my dad was a preacher but still it did not occur to me until I was in 5th grade that there was no hymn called "Standing on the Last" - that was just what our music leader would say when he introduced each hymn so everyone would rise on the last verse.

summer

My brother was born when I was 2 and wouldn't slepp through the night, so we had to be extremely quiet if he ever did manage to nod off. So, when I heard "away in a manger" I honestly believed, for a good few years, the the lyrics were "the kettle is boiling, the baby awakes..." as opposed to the cattle are lowing etc! We had an old fashioned whistling kettle at the time, which may have helped me on the way to that belief!

Kate

There is a chorus that talks about the "Cross I bear" a kid I knew used to get excited and asked his aunt if they could sing the song about the "cross-eyed bear"

Anon

I used to think that the words were "Dance, dance where-ever you may be, I am the lord of the Dance Settee..."
I imagined that Jesus and his followers running around my living room and jumping on the settee. My parents still have the settee and I still think of it as the Dance Settee

George

There was this one hymn that my church always sang. It went, "Our heavenly father,"
I always sang it "Our harily father,"
I pictured God as some hairy guy, just covered in fur.
I only found out the correct lyrics two years ago.

Squee

This one belongs to my wife. When she was growing up her church sang a song that went,"Everyday I'm camping, in the land of Canaan. I'm camping, I'm camping, in Canaan's happy land." She thought it went,"Everyday I'm cramping in the land of Canaan. I'm cramping, I'm cramping, in Canaan's happy land." Which begs the questions: Why were they cramping and how could they be happy?

Big Willie

There's a line in a school hymn that goes 'I wait with baited breath' - I thought that meant the hymn writer's breath smelled of maggots.

Scribbles

I always wondered why shepherds washed their socks by night. (correct lyric: watched their flocks)

MaggieNJ

There's a park in Buffalo, NY, called Humboldt Park, so it didn't seem
odd to my little friend that there was a hymn that began, "Jesus Is
Sneaking Through Humboldt Park." He was surprised to learn it's
"Jesus the Seeker of Humble Hearts."

bertee

When I was in year 1 at primary school (aged 5) we had to go to assembly with the whole school, but weren't given hymnbooks to help us sing the songs as most of couldn't read well enough yet. As a result, for years I sang "Dance, dance, wherever you may be, I am the lord of the dance settee". I assumed a "dance settee" was a place where you could be really comfortable, warm, etc, and were allowed to jump on the furniture!

Martha

I used to believe "certain" (used as a verb) was an uber-secret religious ritual performed on reluctant shepherds. I knew this because it said so in the song. "The First Noel the Angels did say, was to certain poor shepherds in field where they lay."

Laurie Briggs

Handel's "Messiah" includes "For we, like sheep, have gone astray". But Handel, a German, was a bit rough on his english phrasing, so the main line comes out as "For we LIKE sheep", which puzzled our Sunday School choir - we had nothing against sheep mind you, but few Australians would choose them as special mates. A couple of us decided on our own slant, incurring strife for singing, "For we like sheep, but I prefer dogs -..... etc". "But Sir, we were in tune and everything!"

Swanny

When I was young when ever I heard the Christmas song Away in a Manger, I thought the Noel Noel chorus, meant that that the baby Jesus had no well, and therefore had no water to drink. I felt very sad for him.

CJ

In the Christmas song "Oh Holy Night", I misunderstood the line "Fall on your knees, oh hear the angels voices".
I thought it was "Fall, Anyanees", and Anyanees was the name of one of the shepards.

Kairow

This was actually my Mum's! For years,she would go around the house singing the harvest Hymn "Bringing In The Sheathes" ...but she sang "Bringing In The Sheep" !
Another hymn one ( my boyfriends) When he heard the lyrics "We Are Weak But He Is Strong" he thought it was "we are weak,but tea is strong" !

Alison

We used to sing a Brownie song that had said "Dear God, teach us to love thee best of all." All through school I thought it said "Teachers do love me best of all!" -and would sing this at the top of my voice! cringe!

sarah

A few years ago, I attended Catholic mass with my brother and father. My brother and I hadn't been brought up Catholic, so the rituals and hymns were all very new to us. When the congregation began to sing "Hosana in the highest", my brother whispered to me, "Are they saying 'Throw Osama in the fire'?"

Chelsea

When I was young and went to church I used to believe entirely that God's first name was Peter., at the end of every prayer the whole congregation seemed to me to be saying,
"thanks Peter God" of course it was really "thanks be to God".

Anon

When my sister was about 6 at Christmas time, she came home from school and sang us a carol she had just learned.
She started alright with 'Ding Dong merrily on high'
but unfortunately finished with 'Hosannah in his trousers'

Jim Clarke

The song : 'He is exalted, forever exalted on high!'

Turned into: "He is INSULTED, forever insulted, on high"

I wondered what someone did to insult God forever.

Bara Boo