i used to believe

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the top 200 beliefs

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I used to believe that quitting something 'cold turkey' meant that you ate cold turkey instead of smoking or doing whatever else they're trying to quit. I figured that since cold turkey doesn't sound that delicious, they must be so distracted by how annoying cold turkey tastes that they forget about their addiction.

Anon (from bad habits : smoking)
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I thought that there were little ant people in my stomach who lived a in a little hut and lived in family units. They dressed like peasants. Their job was to take the food I ate for themselves and make poop to push outside my body. When my cousin told me that if I ate seeds the fruit would grow inside of me, I purposely started eating watermelon seeds to reward the ant people for their hard work.

Anon (from body functions : weeing & pooing)
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When I was little I thought birds were having important meetings when they sat together on the telephone wires.

Leah (from animals : birds)
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I was about 4 years old on a boat trip round a harbour when the tour guide pointed some big old ships moored at the side of the harbour explaining that the boats were "being run with just a Skeleton Crew". I turned to my dad an exclaimed,"Eugh, imagine having to step over all those dead bodies"

Brian (from grown-ups : work)
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I once asked my dad why the police can't catch the robbers since the stripey tops, black masks and swag bag give them away. Obviously all burglars where this attire all the time!

Baggins (from the law : criminals)
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For the longest time, possibly even into adulthood, I thought that cart with one wheel and two handles that workers sometimes use to wheel around anything from dirt to crap to cement mix was called a wheel barrel instead of a wheelbarrow. Strange how no one corrected me during all the times I had talked about wheel barrels. Then one day I found out, I had innocently been going through the dictionary when I made a shocking discovery, I was like WTF is a barrow?!

Donald Duck (from grown-ups : work)
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When I was 4 I overheard my mom talking to my dad about a doctor's appointment she had. I asked her if she was going to see Dr. Pepper, as I believed this was the only doctor there was.

Anon (from people : names)
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Walking at night my 4-year-old daughter kept staring at the moon above the trees. "I think the moon's following us," she said. "Papa, you stay here." She walked about 100 feet, staring constantly at the moon.: Then she stopped and called out, "Papa, come here!" I did, while she kept gazing at the moon. Then she said,"No, it's not following us. It's only following ME!"

tedrey (from nature : outer space)
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I thought it was illegal for women to use Just For Men hair coloring

Brainhead (from body parts : hair)
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I thought the police didn't have to follow the law and could do whatever they want. My reasoning was they were the enforcers of the law so who would arrest them or whatever? I wondered why all the bad people didn't just become cops so they could do crimes with impunity.

Brainhead (from the law : police)
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I thought if someone asked something and said please you had no choice but to do it (I think my dad told me this once when I wouldn't do something)

Hexetic (from people : lies)
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Once when I was a kid, I heard my mum fart and when I asked if that was her she replied: "No, mothers have lost their capapility to fart." For the longest time i believed her and couldn't wait until i bacame a mum so I didn't have to fart anymore.

Silly girl (from body functions : farting)
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You know how some medicines and the like have the label saying "keep out of reach of children"? Well I thought it meant if a kid was in possession of it they would go to jail. I remember one time when I had Chicken Pox I had some lotion i could put on and my mom let me hold onto it but because it has the "keep out of reach of children" on it I was scared the police might somehow find out I had it and throw me in jail!

Brainhead (from body functions : being ill)
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When I was around six I had a book of magic tricks that was also a pop-up book that served to carry around little things used for performing the trick (you take them out of little pockets in the pictures in the book). Well, there was one picture that took place in a restaurant or something and there was a dollar sticking out of a character's pocket that was removable. Thinking it was for a trick, I removed it and the tab on the end of it says "Put it back, you thief!" I freaked out and shoved it back in the pocket, thinking the book had really saw me take the dollar and thought I'd been trying to steal! I was afraid to even look at that page for a while.

Galadriel Moon Silk (from make-believe : magic tricks)
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Ah, the stories I could tell on my superstitions..
But one of my personal favourite beliefs as a kid had to be my fears of ghosts. They literally haunted my childhood.
This is a little long..
I was one of those kids with an overactive imagination and a love of horror films, which quickly proved a bad combination. I was hooked on the films during the day and terrified once the lights went out.
All of this resulted in the eventual belief forming that if I did not have every part of my body covered by the duvet, a ghost could grab me and "drag me away." I was never clear on where I would be dragged; just certain I would be pulled from the safety of my bed into some place of unknown horrors.
"The duvet rule" as I referred to it, was not only necessary when I was in bed. It was also vital if I got up in the night to use the bathroom or get a drink.
So, imagine the fun as, my head covered by a duvet, and my hands clutching the sheets around me, I shuffled down the landing, feeling my way to the bathroom each night. It made quite a sight for my parents, should they wake up.
Also, I was firmly convinced that a ghost lived under my bed. Don't ask me how. But I was convinced an evil spirit waited there for me and it was only a matter of time before we met up. To prevent this, I went to the extremes of keeping a hammer beside my bed.
This belief died a death the night when, my dear older brother, who knew of every one of these fears, decided to hide under my bed after everyone was asleep, for his idea of a joke. He waited there, shook the bed slightly until I woke up, and then slid his hand up and grabbed my ankle.
I was prepared for the moment. I let out a blood-curdling scream, reached out, grabbed my hammer, leant down to my ankle, and firmly battered the hand holding it.
My parents were not pleased with being woken up. I was not pleased with my brother's sense of humor. My brother was not pleased with entering casualty with three broken bones in his hand.
But one good thing came of it all. For some reason, the night completely erased my fear of ghosts. So I guess it wasn't all bad.
My brother, nursing three broken bones, may not have agreed.

The girl who took on a ghost with a hammer (and won) (from make-believe : ghosts)
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I thought seeing red meant you if you were really mad your vision literally got a red tint to it. I figured I had just never got mad enough for it to happen

Olcasgean (from body parts : eyes)
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I misunderstood the concept of the Sandman as a kid.
My mom, checking on me before she went to bed, found me sitting up in bed. Why aren't you asleep, she wanted to know.
Calmly, I told her I was waiting for that old man to come and throw dirt in my eyes!

Goggy (from make-believe : imaginary friends)
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When I first heard the term al fresco I thought it was someone's name. I think the first place I heard it was "an al fresco buffet" and thought "this guy Al Fresco must be a really good cook if they mention him by name!"

Mintaka (from people : names)
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I thought a contract killer was someone who kills people who break a contract

Nate (from the law : criminals)
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When I was young (about 4/5), I used to believe you could hatch an egg by putting it in a towel and keeping it warm. I came up with it after talking about it with my best friend at the time “Thomas”. Both of us took an chickens egg out of the kitchen and tried to hatch it. We stuffed them in a bunch of towels and took the eggs everywhere. And I literally mean everywhere. We brought the eggs with us in a bag stuffed in towels to: school, daycare, when we were playing outside and so on. We checked our eggs everyday to see if they were already hatching and to see if they had any cracks and/or tears. We also replenished the towels everyday so they would stay clean, but before we would change the towels, we would warm the new ones up so the egg wasn’t going to be wrapped in cold towels. After a week or so we started to notice nothing was happening, and we were wondering why the eggs weren’t hatching. We were convinced there was something wrong with the eggs, so we took our mom’s to the supermarket to buy us some new eggs and tried again. A week later the eggs still didn’t hatch and our moms told us that eggs out of the supermarket wouldn’t hatch because they sort the eggs that contain embryo’s out of the packages and throw them away. After that we became mad at our mom’s for letting us take the eggs everywhere and why they made us take all the effort of trying to hatch them while they knew they wouldn’t hatch. For years I was convinced I could make an egg hatch by putting it in towels if I could just get my hands on a “good” egg.

Steffan de Lange (from animals : birds)
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