When I was about 6 years old I went to church for the first time and someone there told me that God was everything. I then pictured God to be a giant pile of household appliances and furniture, mostly consisting of washing machines and couches.

Rayray (from religion : characters)

when i was little, i thought that a con artist was a person that painted pictures of people commiting crimes

kimkim (from the law : criminals)

i used to believe that water was alive and called 'mickee', so every time i flushed a toilet, i would need to stand and watch the water leave down the hole while saying, 'bye mickee bye'. i also had a pacifier at this time named pacier. it fell out of my mouth into the toilet and mickee took it, so i started talking to the bath water instead.

Anon (from toilets : general)

I used to believe that the purpose of a "wake" when someone died was one last attempt at trying to wake them up from the deep sleep that they were in. It confused me because at my grandfather's wake everyone spoke quietly, how would talking quietly wake them up? I just figured that he was a light sleeper, then again I was wrong!

He's Only Sleeping (from death : people)

In church, I used to believe that after the donations were made, the priest would go outside and hold the plate up, then a light would shine from the sky and beam it up from heaven. Then God would use the money to pay the angels for their services. I was afraid that if we didn't donate enough money, all the angels would go on strike and the Earth would spiral into chaos. I was an odd kid.

A Confused Kid (from religion : church)

I had a strange fear that if I closed my eyes in the bathtub, William Shakespeare would come up through the drain and kill me. I knew his name, but I had no idea who he was, so I just naturally assumed he was some sort of bathtub vampire.

Dan (from make-believe : vampires)

When I was younger, I wanted to be a kangaroo SO BADLY when I grew up. My dad spent hours trying to tell me that I couldn't be, and I threw horrible temper tantrums EVERY TIME.

Nony Mouse (from grown-ups : work)

I thought, in kindergarden, in order to read a book you had to read the page then turn it around and wave it back and forth. Little did I know the teacher was just showing us the pictures and it was not required if you were reading to your self.

Ryan (from language : reading)

I used to think that if you put a hair dryer to your face your eyes would be sucked out and live in the hair dryer. Every time my mother would pull one out i'd run around the house shouting 'Let it dry, let it dry, o dear god let it dry.'

Mel (from at home : around the house)

When Tetris on the NES had just hit it big, I knew that it was invented in Russia (It was kind of hard to not know, with the castles and all that), but I had a hard time figuring out how a video game could be made in Russia. After all, they didn't even have electricty over there!

The best theory I could come up with was a game with a crane that lowered wooden blocks... but how would they take the lines away?

Matt Culbreath (from media : computer games)

Believe it or not, I used to believe the word gullible was fake and went off telling everybody it wasn't in the dictionary. It took me years to find out that the saying "gullible isn't in the dictionary" was only a joke, and the people I told it to thought I was just saying that joke rather than really meaning it.

John (from language : speaking)

When I was little, I was always happy to have the top bunk so that in case a volcano erupted nearby, then I would be safe from flowing lava.

I grew up near Chicago.

Frannie (from nature : disasters)

I used to think that when you signed an organ donor card, they would come and take you away and take your organs out straight away. I remember watching my mum fill one in, getting really upset and running off with it and tearing it up! I didn't want them to come and kill her!

Addaperle (from body parts : general)

My dad told me that if you added ice to milk you would be poisoned. One time at a friends house his mom added ice and I got up from the table and screamed, "Ice in my milk what are you trying to do to me?" She stated, "Just trying to make your milk cold." I was so embarrassed.

Ben (from food : milk)

I used to believe that dogs heads were used to make drums. This stemmed from the fact i once found a plastic Drum beater. And my dog. And found that the dogs head made a pleasing sound.

I asked my mum, "Are drums made from dogs heads", and she said yes. She says she thought i was kidding, but i believed it for years.

Duffman (from animals : cats & dogs)

I used to think that the Elgin Marbles were actually the kind of marbles we used to play in the street with, and not great big statues. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about and why they wanted them back.

linda hurst (from the past : history)

When I visited the public library as a little kid, I assumed most of the books in the grown-up section were filled with pictures of people "doing it".

toon (from language : reading)

For some reason, when I was very little, I thought that TV shows "stayed inside the TV" until it was turned on. When we watched TV, the shows were "leaking out." When I started going to school, I would come home in the afternoon, try to watch "Sesame Street" and find that it wasn't on. I then asked Mom not to watch TV while I was at school, as it "wasted" "Sesame Street."

Nicholas Dollak (from media : tv)

when i was a little girl i believed that the veils on a nun's habit were nailed to their heads and that they were all bald underneath it and that they slept in it and never took it off! that is what my brother told me. at religious instructions class i asked a nun if it hurt when they pounded the nails in. she took me aside into a cloak room and took off the veil to reveal her beautiful long hair

annie (from religion : church)

When I was little, I used to think that our house was haunted, so every time I had to go to the loo in the night, I would drape a blanket over my head and shuffle toward the bathroom "ooh-ing" softly, so that any passing ghosts would think I was one of them. A cunning disguise, I think you'll agree.

K-Matic (from at home : around the house)