my nan had 9 out of 10 fingers amputated and so she used to tell me that she picked her nose and the cockroachs ate them. :S i actually belived her...

Bea (from bad habits : picking my nose)

Sometimes, when my father was annoyed with me, he told me to "get off his case" about it. For a few years, I always responded "but dad, I'm not sitting on your briefcase!" (He had a briefcase that he took to work, and I thought it was the "case" that he was referring to!)

kero9x (from grown-ups : family)

Apparently, my mom and her friends were very ladylike. Until I was about 23 and living with my fiancee, I was utterly convinced that females were physically incapable of farting.

Jaede (from body functions : farting)

When I was 5, my dad was a cop. He was involved in a high-profile drug sting, and as a result, there were death threats on him and on my family. We got used to him checking the door with a pistol in his hand.

One night in December, Dad went outside for a few minutes to "check around" as he did frequently. Suddenly, I heard bells and a loud, "HO, HO, HO!" coming from my bedroom window! I shrieked and ran for my mother in terror, and Mom asked me, "What's wrong, honey?"

My panicked response: "Mommy, we've gotta stop Daddy! He's gonna shoot Santa!"

Jaede (from make-believe : father christmas)

One day, Mum caught my little sister playing with some of our Dad's things and exclaimed "If your father saw you doing that, he'd have kittens!" As soon as Dad (who's quite bug) got home that night, my sister ran to put her ear to his belly and, even years afterwards, was convinced that she could hear cats meowing and fighting in there!

Cat's in the Cradle (from grown-ups : family)

I used to believe that everyone had their own special day of the year called a 'birthday'. During my 1st grade Show and Tell, I told my class that I was special because I was born on my birthday!

elizabeth (from people : birthdays)

When I was about 5 my older sister and I were playing in our sandbox, she told me that if I stuck my thumb in the sand and sucked it, it would taste like chocolate!

Emma (from food : nasty food)

I believed that the word "contents" was a verb and meant "explodes". Why? Cans around my parents' home all had printed upon them the same thing: "Warning: contents under pressure". I figured that if you squeezed the can, it would explode. I handled all cans very carefully for a very, very long time!

Rhonda (from at home : around the house)

I used to believe that the people who "colored" The Simpsons ran out of skin-toned crayons.

Anon (from media : cartoons)

When I was very small my parents told my twin brother and I that if we told a seagull our names they would let us catch them. That would lead to two small children chasing seagulls around the beach shouting their names as loud as we could.It never would but we kept believing it would ( maybe we were supposed to speak in Seagull)

Anon (from animals : birds)

At my primary school there were signs that said "live cables burried here" when I was little I thought these signs said "live couple buuried here" I thought there was people burried all over my school.

anon. (from language : reading)

My 6 years younger sister used to tell me that I was younger than her. She was just growing backwards.

Taryn (from grown-ups : getting older)

When I was 6 or 7 we had a pet tortoise who had previously belonged to my Aunt. One day my parents told me it was taken to the Zoo because the Zoo didn't have one. Turns out he died during hibernation and was thrown in a rubbish skip. I'm 21 now and believed the Zoo story up until about a month ago!

Chris (from animals : general)

I used to believe that I could lay eggs if I squatted down, shut my eyes and clucked like a chicken. I was so proud of myself thinking that I would be able to feed my family and friends. It was only later that I realised that the eggs I had been laying were plastic toy eggs that my mum and dad sneakily put underneath me.

Anon (from body functions : special powers)

I used to believe that if I would get "returned" to Wal-mart if I behaved badly because "he still had the receipt."

Nikkie (from grown-ups : family)

Until i was about 6, i used to believe that when the police gave you a ticket, it was a ticket to the movies!

mari (from the law : police)

When I was 3 my father told me that I only have two glasses of water inside my head, and that if I waste my tears over silly things then I won't be able to cry anymore even if I am sad for real. He said one time he'd met an 8-year old boy who'd used up all his two glasses of tears and now he couldn't cry no matter what happened. To this day I am a woman who cries very rarely.

Bibi (from grown-ups : family)

one time, my friend and i were with our mothers and younger sisters. the moms wanted the younger sisters to take a nap while my friend and i went to the playground. to refrain from upsetting the younger siblings, my mother said that the younger ones were going to "dreamland" while we went to the park. i was extremely jealous as i thought dreamland was a theme park even better than disneyworld, and i couldnt believe i had to go to the stupid playround while my sister and friend's sister went to this magic kingdom.

Anon (from neighbourhood : excursions)

i once caught my christmas list in my dad's office, when it was supposed to be at the north pole. i became upset until my father explained he had santa's fax number. i was duly impressed.

Anon (from make-believe : father christmas)

I used to believe that if you died, and you were buried, there was no casket...and the bugs would eat your body. I went around afraid of dieing, worried that my body was going to be dinner for the bugs.

Lauren (from death : people)