when i first started school i thought the teachers lived in the school and slept on the tables.

emma (from school : teachers)

My sister told me that people married by looking at their ear sizes and in order to find the perfect match, people had to have similiar sized ears.
o_O

frey (from grown-ups : marriage)

When I was a kid I remember hearing about and watching rockets being sent into space. I asked my mum about it and she explained that they were learning stuff about space so they sent someone up there to look around, but it cost a lot of money and could be dangerous.

For years I couldn't understand why they didn't just ask superman to go have a look for them.

Superman fan (from nature : outer space)

When i was little my dad used to reflect light off his watch onto the wall and tell me it was tinkerbell the fairy off peter pan.
He never sat me in front of the tv or anything to make me shut up, just shined his watch on the wall just high enough so i couldn't touch it. I used to spend hours jumping up the wall to try and "catch" her........
This practice stopped when i ran at the wall in frustration and ended up with a nosebleed....

easily entertained girl with a wonky nose ]:( (from make-believe : fairies)

I went to a preschool at a church and all of the adults kept referring to the church as being "the house of the lord". I assumed it was literally the house of god and started looking for him everywhere in the church. After many days and no sightings I deduced that the lord must be living a very reclusive life in one of the portable building behind the church. I spent most days at recess peeking into these buildings and even had other friends help me look for the lord in a trailer. I never found him :-(

Amanda (from religion : church)

When I was 4 or 5 my Grandma told me while we were riding in the car, that If I didn't duck my head when we went under a bridge I would get a nasty bump
You know I ducked my head for years after she told me that, I think into my teens.

Michael (from transport : cars)

When my Fiancee was little her dad used to tell her she had to wash until she was "squeaky clean". She still uses her finger on her chest to see if it squeaks. She's 29.

Fondofclean (from body parts : general)

I used to think that 'the pulitzer prize' was actually, "Pull It - Surprise!" -- Like, you pull a rope and something might fall on you...

Anon (from language : speaking)

I was adopted at 2 1/2 so my Dad always told me adpoted children were the best kind because my parents got to pick me out and other parents were just stuck with the kids they got.

When my parents adopted my little sister (I was 4) they let me go into the room to "pick her out" For years I held it over her that she wouldn't even be here if I hadn't picked her out. I think I was around 12 when I remembered the detail that there was no other child in the room besides my then 9 month old sister. My sister was in the late teens when she figured out the truth.

Anon (from grown-ups : family)

When I was little, in the 80's, fur coats were still very popular for women, even in the relatively mild climate of central Maryland. My mom badly wanted one, but we couldn't really afford it (and I gave her a very hard time about wearing a dead animal, even at the age of 5).
She would still look every time we were in a coat store, and so I would follow her through the racks, touching each one, because I liked how soft the fur was, even if I didn't approve.
She pulled one floor length coat off the rack, held it up, and said "This one is Australian opposum". Knowing that North American possums are fairly small animals, and not understanding that multiple pelts got sewn together, my eyes got huge and I said "How big do they get there?" She laughed til her face turned red and she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

SH (from animals : general)

My entire family told me that my belly button was where the indians had shot me. They have all kinds of home video of them saying "Show us where the indians shot you" and me lifting up my shirt and pointing to my belly button.

Anon (from body parts : belly buttons)

When you caught the white fuzzy things that fly through the air, that was part of Santa Claus' beard and it meant you were being good.

elizabethany (from make-believe : father christmas)

My mom thought that God's name was Ed when she was little. She thought the Lor'd Prayer said "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hello! Ed be thy name".

The nut doesn't fall far from the tree... (from religion : prayers)

When driving through Maryland, my Dad and I would see a lot of cows. I was so upset one day because I thought they would all be turned into hamburgers. My Dad told me they only use completely black cows for hamburgers (apparently there is no such thing!). When I saw a black cow, and was upset, he told me he saw some white on it, so it was safe. I believed that one until I was 14!

Anon (from animals : general)

When I was four years old my aunt and uncle stayed at our house while my parents were on a camping trip. One afternoon they were driving my cousin and I who were acting up in the back seat. My uncle turned his head around and told me that he was going to take me to the police station and give me the electric chair. I couldn’t understand why my aunt thought that was funny. Nevertheless, for most of my early childhood I believed every police station had an electric chair.

JR (from the law : police)

I cried for a couple of days, throwing terrible tantrums until my parents decided to grill me until they could figure out my problem.

I finally discovered my horse wasn't actually being broken into bits, but would rather come home "broken" to ride.

Jen D (from animals : general)

My grandma died when I was very young and my Aunt was upset because I was having a good time playing with my cousin. She thought we should be sad too but I thought someone had to die in order for there to be enough room on the planet for a baby to be born. I thought it was really nice that my grandma had given her spot on earth to someone else. Besides, I thought she was soooo old.

sadly mistaken (from death : people)

When I was young I refused to drink well water because I thought it came out of whales.

itodd (from language : speaking)

I used to believe that when my mom made pasta, she messed it up every time and had to dump it down the sink and start over, I was always amazed at how fast the second batch took, since we always ate right after she dumped it... I didn't see the colander until I was old enough to see into the sink.

Anon (from food : general)

At school, we were always taught "dont drink and drive." When my father was drinking a soda as he was driving, I freaked out.

mie (from food : drinks)