When I was 11, my best friend told me that lesbians have sex with condoms filled with cheese. I eventually realized that this was not a common practice of any sexual orientation and I have often wondered where she obtained this information in the first place.

AngryKatie

When I was little my dad took me to the toilets in a restaruant and when I asked him what the condom machine was he told me they were balloons for older boys! You can only imagine his response when I asked if I could have one to take home! haha

Spindle

when i was about 5 or 6 my friend jason (who was probably about 10 or 11) i told me that condoms "stopped women having babies" when i asked him about one that was lying in the gutter.

for a good few years this explanation was interpreted by me as meaning that pregnant women used condoms to stop themselves giving birth by inserting one into their vagina and the condom somehow "catching" the baby. i thought it made sense, ie. if they were out shopping and having a baby was inconvenient, pop one in, problem solved.

munkster

I used to beleive a condom was to prevent you from peeing inside the woman, which would cause her to inflate.

Anon

I was once so naive that I thought that condoms were the male equivilent of tampons as although my Mum told me about periods, she never said men didn't get them either! So when the girl I used to sit by in English at age 11 said she would do it with Ayrton Senna as long as he wore a johnny I was absolutely appalled at the thought.

LadyAnnie

I can still remember my Dad shouting at my brother to hide his porno mags properly in his bedroom and get rid of those dirty "french letters" (condoms). I spent ages trying to figure out who was writing to my brother from France !

Adam

I used to believe that condoms were devices that elderly men donned, before enjoying a few pints at the pub, to soak up any urine leakage.

That was because my dad told me so.

boadledotcom

When I was five, my three year old brother and I had found our father's box of special ballons, in his dresser. One day, Mom seemed particularily worried and frazzled, and announced that the banker was coming to meet with our family about backing us with a loan to get us through a rough season. It was essential that the house be clean and us children scrubbed, and on our best behavior. Given there were six of us, Mom lost track and my brother and I were on our own, as usual. We decided to help and decorated the kitchen and living room with Dad's Special Ballons while he and Mom showed the Banker around the farm before lunch. The adults didn't notice our hard work, until after they had come in, sat down and in the middle of grace my mother let out a scream that could be heard, I am sure, miles away.

Sandy Welch

When I was younger (about ten), my parents (they were bikers at the time) used to take me to this bar on the weekends with them, there was a video game area I could play in with the other kids. In the bathroom they had a condom dispenser with one product called a "french tickler". I thought this was the funniest thing, but had no idea what it was. When Christmas rolled around, I was in our living room with my parents and older brother. We were listening to holiday music, and I was singing along to the Twelve Days of Christmas. Instead of saying "Three french hens.", I thought it would be funny to blurt out "Three french ticklers!" My brother started laughing, and I was grounded without any explanation of what a french tickler was.

RyDawg

When I was about ten years old I was helping my dad and uncle cut and split fire wood for the winter. I had overheard them say something about a condom and I laughed. My dad asked why I was laughing and asked if I even knew what one was. Hanging with the men I proudly explained that it was to keep the gel in! Although close, I still had no idea what the gel was or were exactly it kept it in!

Anon

Well when I was little around the age of 6 me and my friend we were so creative with making stuff, we would always make things for our barbies. Well it was "prom night" for the barbies and we needed music, so I was about to put a tape in when the casset had a package in it(My brother would hide stuff in my room,who thinks to look in a little girls room, right!?). I was surprised, so we put it aside and after the "prom" the barbies all went camping thats when i got bored sicne my friend was driving the barbies, so i opened the small package, out came what i believed was a "sleeping bag" for my barbie! I was so excited we used it for the camping trip but only for about 10 mins when my brother came to check on us. He saw what we had and what we were doing and he just laughed. It was explained later to me what it was. My friend's have an hilarious fit everytime I tell them my incident with condoms.

Allison H.

When I was little I saw a machine for flavored condoms and I knew that a condom went on a guys thing and he stuck it up a girls vagina so I automatically asumed that a girls vagina could taste like it was a second mouth! I know the use for flavored condoms now and boy was I wrong!

Kassidy

my uncle was about 5 and he found a condom in his dads dressor. he took it to school for show and tell and said it was a "crayon holder".

Steph

Until I was about 13 (I was a naive and overprotected child) I thought that men got up in the morning and put on their new clean condom everyday just like they put on their underwear. That way they had it on when they were ready to have sex.

S.L.T.

When my cousin and I were young (about 11 or so), we thought that condoms were worn by guys who didn't wanna take time out of their busy schedules to go pee in the toilet. I felt really stupid when I found out the truth...

Miss Mustard

In Sex Ed. in 5th grade, one day someone mentioned condoms, and the teacher said she would bring one in tomorrow.

The next day, the girl in our class who had been held back was telling everyone about how last year the condom had "popped off" the cucumber being used fot the demonstration. I, being innocent and having no idea what a condom was, immediately assumed it was some sort of explosive device.

When the teacher begain the demonstration, I inched my chair backwards to avoid being caught in the line of fire. When I reallized what a condom actually was, I felt silly.

The funny thing is, I was in another sex ed. class a few years later and, when we were given a condom demonstration again, I found I was still afraid of them.

Anne S.

my mom told me once that condoms were to prevent aids but she didnt tell me that it was used wen u were having sex, so one day i got a cut and asked her for a condom and she was like freakiing out on me and asking me y and i was like mommy i got a cut.. then everyone laughed

Joe mama

when i was young i used to go on holidays with my parents to beach resorts. on one of these holidays i found a snake skin so i picked it up and showed it to my sister, who was quite older than me. she got really scared and told me to put it down so i startedwaving it in her face and chasing her with it.

later on when i was about 18 i told a large group of people that my sister was scared of snakes, and recounted the holiday story. she decided it was best to tell me at that moment that what i was waving was a used condom.

david brent, england

when i was about eight my brother showed me a condom and he blew it up. so ofcourse i thought it was a balloon
and when he gave it to me i took it into my dad and said look a balloon.
He was so embarresed when he had to explain to me what it was. I really hated my brother after that.

Kerrys

When I was younger I was watching the first Austin Powers and I asked my mom what a condom was. She told me it was a balloon that a man puts on his tool to keep the woman from getting pregnant. Little did I know this "balloon" wasn't supposed to be inflated. Wow was that naive. For years I wondered how a man fit his tool in a woman with a big balloon on it.

Anon