When I was five, I saw a used condom in the park. Since there were quite a lot of trees in that particular spot in the park, I also thought that there must have been snakes living there. Putting two and two together, I concluded that condoms were worn by snakes to keep their tails warm, and felt sorry for the poor unfortunate snake that had lost his tail-warmer...

Sam

When I was little, I found a box of condoms in my parent's bedroom drawers. For some reason I thought it was a pack of cigarattes, and I thought my parents smoked, to my great horror! So the next day I whispered to my sister secretly, sis ...I think mommy or daddy smokes ... Mom overheard us and asked me why would I think that and i said I found the cigarattes in their bedroom. Confused, she asked me to show it to her ..which I did. She snatched them from my hands and just told me quickly they aren't cigarattes ...but never explained what they are. I believed they smoke until a few years ago, talk about embarassment!

Mika

I used to believe that condom machine dispener in restroom at gas station was candy machine that dispenses special rubber candy called "Durex". I brought one and put the red, cherry flavored condom in my mouth. It tasted so good and I chewed for a bit then swallowed it. Years later after I learned what condoms are, I was in a shock that I ate one!

Brent

When I was 14 I found the rubber finger bandage (that you roll it on your wounded finger to keep bacteria out) in the first-aid kit. I thought they were mini-condoms for men with small penises. I was angry at my 55 years old parents for still having sex at that age. I stomped out of the bathroom with a bunch of those in my hands and told them "I know what these are! I'm throwing those mini-condoms away!" My mom took a really good laugh and told me they are just for her injuried fingers!

Tatiana

In sex ed, we were talking about condoms, and a student (not me) rasied his hand and said "I know what those are, my parents live in one"

Becca

when i was a kid, I over heard my parents talking about condoms with each other. I asked them what they were and they said they were ballons that a man ties to his penis to trap the sperm. I didnt know what they ment by attached, so i figured that the man ties a string on his penis and fills a balloon with helium. I didnt make much sence

you dont know my name

When I was about 8 me and my friend watched the movie Coneheads, in one of the scenes one of the coneheads pulls out a package of condoms and starts chewing on one. my friend then asked me what that was that he was chewing on, me knowing quite abit for my age told him it was a condom. he then asked me what a condom was, i wouldnt tell him because i found it awkward, we then had a moment of silence and suddenly he burst out and said
"i know what a condom is" i said
"what is it then?"
He said,
"its for old men to put on their penis' so they dont pee themselves"
me, just wanting to end the conversation said,
"yeah thats right"
He then ran to his parents and yelled out,
"I know what a condom is!"
...his parents loved me from that moment on

Ashlan

My parents never gave me 'The Talk' when I was younger, yet thanks to television and friends, I knew pretty much everything about sex.

Nobody ever told me about condoms though.

Until I was about 13, I thought Condoms were just another brand of antacid tablets, like Alka-Seltzer, because they were both the same shape and size when they were wrapped.

I had really bad indigestion one day, and asked my mother for a condom to get rid of my stomache pains.

...She still hasn't let me forget about that...

Lenny

I used to believe you had to stretch condoms over you testicles.

Anon

A few times when I was little I saw commercials for Trojan condoms. When the packaging for the condoms were shown, I assumed it was a book of matches. Since hotel lobbies often had matches with their logos, I reasoned that Trojan was a hotel. The happy people in the commerical were loyal customers.

C

When I was a pre-teen I believed that if a man thought he would be having sex, he would put the condom on hours before.

Like before he left for his date, he would slip it on. Then later, it would already be there.

annie

In fifth grade we had just gotten back from a very vague sex ed class and a boy in my class said something about a condom. The sex ed class hadn't mentioned condoms, so another student asked our teacher what a condom was. She told us it was a device used for sex. I then thought two people couldn't have sex without a condom. I thought it was some sort of metal device that the man and the woman attached themselves to.

Lena

When I was very little I heard the word condom used. My mom had explained to me that if married people didn't want to have children they had to use a condom. The closest word I had ever heard to it was the word condiment so I figured condom was just an abreviation. Well one day there was a bit of a family gathering at my house, including my cousin who had just recently gotten married. Well she was discussing with my mom and some of my other relatives that she didn't want to have children. So trying to help my cousin I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the mustard, I ran back put the mustard in her hands and said "You have to use a condom like this if you don't want kids". EVERYONE laughed forever!!! and now I'm married and just had my first child. I had my cousin over a few weeks back (which is what reminded me of the story), She had brought me gift, I told her how thoughtful it was, and after I unwrapped it.....yeah Mustard. She then said "now you said you didn't want another for a while so use this wisely".

Mustard Man

When i was around 10 years old, condoms were distributed in our street as a part of social awareness program, but we the kids in the street didnt know wat they were really used for , thought they were distrubeted to make big sized balloons for a special event in the street.
So we started making very big balloons, so that we had a competition of making the biggest balloons in the street.
While everyone was wondered why the balloons very so sticky and had different shape at the tip when blown and were looking different from normal balloons.
After several years now i knew what we actually made a competition on ;)

From India

When I was in 6th grade my health teacher kept talking about 'rubbers'. I was like... what the hell is that? I knew what a condom was at the time... and for some reason I thought when she said rubbers she was talking about those yellow rubber rain boots... it made no sense to me how wearing boots would help during sex.

Sue

I asked my dad what a condom was he told me you had to put it over your nose to stop bees stinging you.
Then, a bee came near my friends borhter I shouted "USE A CONDOM!!"

Rosie

I used to hear my older sister talking about sex stuff, and it didn't faze me until I was eavesdropping on her sleepover. I was eight, she was fourteen. They were talking about this girl who was supposedly not a virgin. My sister replied, "Ewww, did they even use a rubber?"
Well, I had heard of condoms, but not rubbers. I got this weird mental image of a couple wearing those yellow rubber gloves while having sex. I concluded that this was because men's sperm weren't sanitary and a girl needed to wear gloves.

Kat

I used to think a condom was a type of bird.One time I was at my friends house and we were eavesdropping on her parents and they said something about a condom.So I turned to her and gasped"your dads gonna put a bird on his thingy!"So she ran out into the kitchen and said "No Daddy,don't,it might bite your thingy off!"

Anon

once when we had a family dinner at a bistro, me, being only 9 & my neice who was 7 went to the toilets and there was a condom machine. and neither of us knew what these condom things were, but we saw they were flavoured! so we each put it 50p and got a condom each. Being very ignorant indeed, i filled mine with soap (which i thought was strawberry flavored) and we tried to eat them. but ofcours they were disgusting so we just left them by the sink. lol

st.blondie

When my brother was 5, he and our cousin went into the boy's bathroom at a gas station. Our cousin (who was 8 at the time) told my brother that the condom dispensing machine on the wall sold lottery tickets. Well, my brother wasn't going to miss out on winning the lottery! So he bought a "ticket" and ran out of the bathroom smiling saying "I'm going to win the lottery!!"

JAS