Once, I was in a theatre production of the Sound Of Music. We had microphones, and the mic packs (the square-shaped part that connects to the actual mic with a wire) weren't picking up sound right. So they started putting condoms on the packs to help the sound quality. Well, we had a five year old in the show, and she came up to me, holding the condom from her microphone, and said, "What's this?" I deliberated for a minute before saying simply, "it's a special microphone pack cover." Poor little girl! Years from now when she sees a condom again, she'll think it's a mic-pack cover!

Maggie

I saw a movie with John Travolta in it. He was talking to some girl and she had said something about condoms, then he flipped out a butterfly knife.
Until I was 15, I thought a condom was a knife.

Rob

When I was 16 and worked at a grocery store I was asked where the condiments were. I thought that was a fancy name for condoms. I was so embarrassed that I just turned red and could hardly speak.

Naive Girl

In the third grade, I had a friend who was a year or so older than me. One day, she told me about how her older sister was 'allowed' to have sex since she used condoms. I asked what they were, and she said that her sister showed her one, and it looked like a bag with white stuff at the bottom.

I then believed that condoms were sandwich baggies with little white pills in it.

Anon

When I was 6 my family had a fourth of July BBQ at our house with all of our relatives and close family friends. Just as dinner had finished cooking I stood up and screamed at the top of my lungs that I was going to go get the condoms so we could eat. I thought that condoms and condiments were the same thing.

Brittany

I thought that a condom was a person who had a penis at the front and a vagina at the back, and a man and a woman could have sex with the condom if they wanted to stay virgins...

Hannah

My brother and I were watching TV (about 7 and 5 at the time) when a condom commercial came on.I remember my mom rushing from the kitchen to the living room to see if we had any questions. After a few minutes she asked us if we knew what a condom was. I said that it's something the boy puts on when he kisses a girl so they won't get sick. When she turned to my brother he said:"Don't worry mom! I'll wear it all over my body so I'll be safe even if the girl touches my hand!!!"

Go Figure

I use to think that condoms had to be used because whenever a man and a woman slept together they automatically had sex and couldn't stop it. Why else would you need them.. there's no reason to intentionally have sex if you don't want to become pregnant.

buboo

When i was 10, i use to go at pharmacy near where i was living with my mom and sisters, near the casher, there was aller candys of differents colors, each time i was asking my mom to buy somes but she never wanted to and each time the sallers were laughing at me... Now i realized that it wasn't candy, it was condoms !

Johnny from Qc

I am an English female, and middle-aged. Back in the 1960s, my friend and I (being really embarrassed about periods and sanitary pads) thought that if we had to wear THEM once a month, condoms must be for a similar function in boys! We actually believed that boys had to go and buy condoms on a regular basis!!

sookie

In fifth grade, I had seen a condom in its packaging, where it just looks like a ring. For quite a while, I thought a condom just fit on the base of the penis (like a ring on your finger) and somehow shot invisible rays that kept any sperm from coming out. It wasn't until I bought one and opened it that I realized the non-scifi truth.

Adam

I used to believe that sex was only for reproduction, and that condoms were a way to prevent AIDS without preventing conception. A filter would let the sperm through, but not the virus.

I found a box of condoms in a bag my parents had brought home from the drug store. I confronted Mom about it, demanding to know which one of them had AIDS and why they wanted a new baby anyway.

She told me the condoms were a joke gift for their friends and didn't correct any of my confusion.

Anon

Before I really knew what condoms were I used to believe that you would put them on like scuba gear...I really thought it was something you wore allo ver your body!

CJ

One time when i was in second grade we went on a really long field trip so we stoped about half way to use to the restrooms at a rest stop.As i walked into the bathroom i saw a friend of mine blowing up a condom!As he saw me come in he said"Look at this realy long balloon i found!".The worst part is that...well it was used.ewwwww...

Feal sorry for him

When I was about 7, I had found some condoms in my parents bedroom, and I brought it up to my dad asking him what it was. He had me convinced that they were "water balloons" so I filled them up with water and threw them at passing cars, not knowing what I had done until years later.

Dustin

I used to believe that condoms were rare expensive water balloons

Andrea

Once when I was on the bus heading for school, this boy named Andrew had a balloon that look like the finger of one of those nurse gloves. He blew it up, and took it up to the driver, who immeadiatelly grabbed the balloon, and asked him where he got it from. He replied, "I found it in my mom and dad's bed" Apparently it had been a used condom, and my older friend explained the whole scenario. I was disgusted.

Anonymous

When I was shopping with my mum, I saw a packet of condoms. Using my 7 year old logic, I believed that 'condom' meant 'cone dome' and you had to put it over your icecream cone so when you ate your icecream it wouldn't melt all over your fingers.

Rebecca

when my brother and i were little we thought condoms were really cool water balloons and were amazed how resillgent they were.

suzy

I was out for a meal on my birthday with my two young sons and my husband. It was just before xmas and the restaurant was full.We were enjoying a meal but the music was loud, my 5 yr old son wanted the toilet so my husband took him. When they came back my son was trying to tell me somwthing, it was hard to hear due to the noise,. I asked him to speak up, so he shouted at the top of his voice ( just as the music went off) " I DIDNT THINK DADDY LIKED CHEWING GUM!, BUT HES BOUGHT SOME OUT OF THE MACHINE IN THE TOILETS, HE SAID ITS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Needless to say i was on the floor laughing and so was the rest of the restaurant, we also got a round of applause and a happy birthday song!

TT