Once when I 8 0r 9, I heard the word "vasectomy" on TV. I asked my mom what it meant. She told me: "It's an operation that a man gets so he can't have babies." I took this to mean that I needed surgery or I could become pregnant like a woman. I was pretty freaked out, and hoped that my doctor would give me a vasectomy whenever I went in for a checkup. He never did.

B. Bell

I used to believe that a man had as many testicles as he had children. So I thought the Catholic guy next door had nine balls and that I'd only have two kids when I grew up.

Skwidy

My mom had a friend who was pregnant and she was talking about eating a healthy diet to nourish her child. It didn't make sense to me because I thought unborn babies ate stuff like I did. I thought mommies had little kitchens in their bellies so when the baby got hungry, it would just climb up on the counter and pour itself a bowl of Captain Crunch.

KentAtl

Comment my 3 year old son made when I was trying to explain what a pregnant woman was. I said, pointing out to my son that the fat lady wasn't fat, it was just that she had a baby in her tummy. He turned to me and said, "Daddy why did that lady eat a baby?"

Max

I remember when I was four years old, I asked my parents where babies comes from. They decided that they were going to tell me the truth and explained things to me. After their talk with me, I stood up and simply said “If you didn’t want to tell me, you didn’t have to lie”

Right from the mouths of babes, huh?

Beca

There comes a time in every childs' life where they ask,
"Where do babies come from?"
When I asked this to my mother, she told me that babies come from from their mommy's tummy, where they get all the food and nutrience that they needed to grow. So here's what I saw in my mind's eye:
A woman with a large bulge in her stomach. In that bulge there was a baby (fully clothed) standing up and kicking at the sides of the mother's 'tummy'. Like a robot, the mother eats her dinner. The food falls from her throat and rains onto the baby with no signs of being chewed up. From there the baby eats it.
You must understand that I didn't know how the digestive system worked then either. To me it was PERFECTLY logical to have food raining onto an unborn child.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow

When I was about six I overheard my dad telling my brother about sex. I just remember standing there with my hand on my stomach, thinking, "I have *eggs* in there? Can I break them if I jump? Do I have to lay them? How do they come out?"

Rachel L Hansen

I was always told that a baby comes from people sleeping together. When our pet dog became pregant I was really afraid that the puppies would be born with my face. After all I "slept" (as in ..zzzz) with our dog many times.

Anon

When I read the book "Where did I come from?" in second grade, it mentioned that you didn't have to be married to have a baby. I thought that meant that sperm could travel out of the man, down the street on on the sidewalk, into a lady's house and up the legs of her bed, through her sheets and into her vagina while she was sleeping. A couple of times I peered over the edge of my bed to see if any of them were coming my way.

L.A.P.

When I was four my mom was pregnant with my little sister. Strangly, I kept mixing up the word "pregnant" and "retarded." Once when I went with my mom to the doctor's office for a prenatal checkup I met two ladies who asked me why I was there. I replied that it was because my mom was retarded.

Lisa

My brother used to believe that when a couple left the church after they got married, there was a big wicker basket by the door with a selection of babies in it, so that they could choose one on the way home!

Lisa

I used to believe that birth control was for deciding to have either a boy or girl babies.

Anon

When my mom was pregnant with one of my little sisters (I was 7), she got me books on baby development and birth because I was so curious about it all. I became quite the expert on how things worked. There was one thing I didn't understand, though:
"Mom, how does the sperm get from the man into the woman?"
"It happens when they're very close together," she said.
For years, I'd see couples sitting close together and try to see sperm flying through the air between them.

Annie

When I was around 3 years old, I was sitting in my high chair eating lunch when I said to my mum, "I hope you didn't hurt me", and kept on eating.

She asked what I was talking about, so I proceeded to say to her that if I came from her tummy, she must have eaten me, so I hoped that she didn't hurt me while eating me.

My mum had to try very hard to keep from laughing... after that, she proceeded to explain the basic mechanics of reproduction to me. I wasn't very interested at the time, but I have never had misconceptions about reproduction since, and I was able to clarify some very creative ideas my school friends had gotten into their heads upon attaining school age.

Cyra

I once asked a friend if test-tube babies had bellybuttons or not.

I was eighteen years old.

Anon

When I was young my mom conscientiously offered to teach me about sex and the difference between boys and girls. She said that we could look at pictures if it would make explaining things easier. She meant in a medical book. I thought she meant pictures of her and my dad having sex. Needless to say, I was terrified and said no.

Dan

You know when women go in to have the ultrasound? Where you can see the baby on the television screen? I used to think they were checking for weasels.

Reid

When I was a tiny girl I had the fortunate experience of witnessing a cat giving birth to a litter of kittens, but rather than it helping me understand the birthing process it only confused me more. For a long time I believe that all an animal had to do to have a baby was lick it's poop until it turned in to a baby, which really made my parents seem absolutly disgusting to me.

Anon

Before my grandma told me about the birds and the bees, I believed that babies were born wrapped in blankets. I got this idea from watching shows where a female character was having a baby. They never showed the icky stuff, they would always cut to the the woman holding the baby wrapped in a blanket. So....that's how I got the idea that babies were born with blankets.

Jaycee

Not me but my sis.
Me, my mum, her heavily pregnant friend and my sister were getting changed to go swimming.
My sis points at my mum's friend just as she's slipping into her cossie and says,
"It's going to be a girl!" we all asked how she knew. (she's a lot younger than me) "I can see her hair sticking out!!!!"
We all had a good laugh at my sis expense.






Incidentally, it was a girl.

Kitunae The Klot