when i was about 6, i announced to my entire extended family at christmas that my 'girlfriend' wanted to hump me. i was delighted that she would want to do that, although at the time i certainly didnt believe that humping was something that would cause such shock amongst my family.

Anon

I used to believe that the way you had sex was to take off your shirt and show your chest muscles - this would make the woman excited and she would want to press herself against you (fully clothed) and kiss you, thereby getting pregnant. You did not make her pregnant if you were wearing your shirt.
I attribute this belief to way too many Hercules and Sinbad movies as a child.

daveydude

When I was about 8 my older sister told me that they had caught a boy in their class "playing with himself" (I had NO clue what this meant and assumed the kid and no friends). The she tells me that from then on they called him "Masterbater". Still clueless,I heard this as Master Bater and assumed he was a rich kid with no friends. For years had this image of a Master Bater who was very dapper, well-dressed with a top hat, cane, and shiny black shoes, and could't understand why anyone wouldn't want to play with him too!

Anon

When I was younger, my older brother always used to ask me If I had 'Shot my seed' yet, and I didn't know what he was talking about. When one day I found out about masturbation I spent 3 hours in my bathroom trying to 'Shoot my seed' when I didn't shoot a seed (I was expecting a little black seed), but in fact shot out something else, I went crying to my brother because I thought mine was broken. He still takes the piss now.

MarkyPants

when I was 12 or 13 I masturbate for the first time by recomendation of my friends, according to them it was going to be like a water hose cumming because it was going to be the very first time, so I had to masturbate facing the back of the toilet and with music so my parents wont listen the very powerfull action to happen.
Of course, it wasnt true, beside the pain I was feeling, my huge worry was my sperm going in the flush, I tought my sperm will transform in to babyes in the drainage and will find the way back to find their daddy, I was horrofied!!!!
I got my drain pregnant!!!
it was until 15 years old I finally understood that will never happen.

richer

I used to believe that erections were something that happened entirely randomly, and so if you wanted to have sex you had to just wait around for one to happen.

John

I used to think that spam was semen so I was very confused when people talked about buying it in tins.

EB

When I was younger, I heard my parents having sex one night. I didnt know that they were having sex at the time, I thought that they were just having a jumping on the bed contest, and I could tell that they were getting tired because they were breathing hard. The next morning I asked my mom who won.

Britney

When I was young I asked how people got pregnant, and was told that a man and woman would need to lay with each other in bed. I took this very literaly and while playing the childhood game of "house" was scared that even laying down next to a girl on the floor as a pretend bed would get a girl pregnant.

One day for fear of having to explaining what I knew to my friends, and because I liked the girl I was playing house with, I layed next to a neighbor girl as pretend parents while playing "house". None of the other kids seemed to have a problem with this. That night I could hardly sleep, and confronted my mom the next day that I had gotten the neighbor girl pregnant.

That turned out to be an interesting day.

Doug

Thanks to the lyrics to many hyperbolic love- and sex-related songs, I used to think that the usual or average length of time it took to have sexual intercourse was "all night."

Anon

"I used to belive when I was young that when a woman was raped, she was hit with a rake. So durring the fall one day, I accidentaly hit myself with a rake, then ran to my mom and told her the rake raped me.

Dumb Blond

Before the age of 11, I used to believe that girls had the same sexual organs as boys. One day when I was 11 years old one of my friends FALSELY affirmed my beliefs by telling me that girls like to have their penises played with when having sex. Shortly after that I got into a "you show me yours, and I'll show you mine" game with my very first girlfriend. When she pulled down her panties I SCREAMED and CRIED and asked her "Where's your penis!" She cracked up laughing, as did her mother who ran into the room trying to find out why I screamed so loud! I was sent home and my mother promptly told me the differences between boys and girls, as well as how babies are made. Before this I had thought that sex was the boy and the girl taking turns sticking their penis up the other persons butt!

Sheltered Preteen

When I was a kid, (around age seven) I thought that when animals “mated” that meant they got married.
So one day, my 8-year-old guy friend and I were playing Lion King in his yard as his father did yard work. I was the girl lion and he was the boy lion as usual. Then, going up to his father, we announced very proudly that we were going to mate that night and we were going to have a really good time.
To make a long story longer, the look on his father's face was priceless, and the memory still embarrasses me.....

~Confused Kid

A friend of mine told me this story.
She learned from a sex-ed book for kids, when she was about 9 or 10, the details of the female genitalia. She asked her mom what the clitoris was for. Her mom told her she'd figure it out on her own when she gets older.

Couple months later they were having people over for dinner, and my friend burst in the room and just yelled in front of everyone : "Mom, I know what the clitoris is for !".

Could there be a worst timing for discovering masturbation ?

charlotte's friend

When I was in elementary school my mother told me that sex is when you stick your pinkys up eachothers nostrils and hum the same song.

Ashley

On those little forms for YMCA sports, it always said "sex" and I put "0" everytime. I always wondered how people remembered how many times....

Anon

i used to believe that 69 was a number game. And then when i asked my mom if she wanted to play i wondered why she looked mortified.

Haywood Jublowme

when i was at primary school some guy called me a lesbian so i went home and asked my mum what it was, she told me it was when two girls love each other so for years i thought she was a lesbian because she loved me and my granny!!!!!!

biggin up the biffy

I used to belief that laying on top of a boy while naked was having sex and with some of my male friends, I "practiced" this at around the age of 7 and 8 because I wanted to be really good at sex so I could have lots of kids when I was older.

Anon

after watching a nature show about black widow spiders, i used to believe that when i first had sex i would have to eat my male partner..

sarah taylor