when i was younger (maybe 7?) my mom got me this book about sex so that she wouldn't have to explain it to me herself. there was a section in there about masturabtion, which was defined as "playing with yourself." so for a while after that, if i was playing dolls or something by myself, i thought that was "masturbating."

jasmine

When I was little I had a vague idea of what an orgasm was: something that felt really, really good and was essentially the /other/ point of sex. I always figured that the orgasm lasted the entire sex session, and that's why people liked to do it so much.

When I was around eleven I found out that an orgasm only lasts about 10 or so seconds. I thought, "What a jip!" And vowed never to have sex, because having to wait 15 minutes for 10 seconds of pleasure seemed like a total waste of time.

Heather

when i was 10 i asked my parents if i could watch dick tracy, she said yes.

When she heard noises comng through the kitchen hatch she questioned me as to what i was watching.

I was actually watching tracy dick (a porno). I will never look at a washing up brush the same!!!

nutty bird

when my son was about five years old and who used to suffer from asthma, was once telling our very nosey neighbour 'when mummy goes in the bedroom with daddy, she always gets an asthma attack, because I can hear her going "ooh ahh oh yeah ahh hu huh hoh"
I was too embarrassed to show my face for days afterwards I can tell you, kids eh

Nicky, Morecambe

I used to think that the word homosexual meant somone who has sex with their house. I was very little, therefore thought sex was kissing. I even tried kissing my wall, and the sofa.

Cherise

When I was about 8, I was told that when a woman and a man are ready to have children the man's penis enters the vagina and 'have sex'. What the word "sex" meant was not explained to me, so I made up a explanation in my head and thought that the end or 'head' of a man's penis falls off into the vagina, and grows into a baby.
That night, I tried removing the end of my penis, to no avail. I assumed I would never be able to concieve children, and was pretty upset about that for a few years, until sex education came along when I was about 14.

Bryce

When I first heard the word "autoeroticism", I thought that autoeroticism was like having sex with a car.

Anon

When I was little I thought a man's penis would move on it's own during sex. All they had to do was put it in the woman and then just lie there while it moves around like a snake. DUH!!

Jen

When I was little, I used to believe sex was illegal.

I was allowed to watch R-rated movies as I was growing-up, and it always seemed that the cops would arrest the guy while he was having sex; being unable to comprehend the plot, it seemed that the bad-guy could rob, murder, etc., without worry, but as soon as he and his girl were together, THAT'S when the cops would show-up.

Stu

When I was about nine i asked my dad what porn was and he told me that it was a vegetable. I was so confused why my older brother kept searching my dads room for magazines of vegetables

Adam

When I was very young I somehow heard the word "dildo" and asked my father what it meant. He told me it was an electric banana. Now, fast forward to Thanksgiving with mother's side of the family and my mother is telling me I'm too young to listen in on the grownup's conversation. Well, I was having none of that! Squaring my shoulders proudly I loudly informed her (and everyone else) that I knew what a dildo was and generously provided the definition. They stared at me in shocked horror while my dad nearly fell off the couch in the other room laughing. Ah, to be a child again.

FuzzyBlueElf

I began playing the guitar when I was around twelve.One day when my cousins where all gathered at our house they wanted me to play some songs and so I did.As I finished playing, I took my guitar, got up and shouted "I WILL MASTURBATE" thinking that masturbation was creating masterpieces(wow).They still tease me about this... (PS all my cousins are male, i'm the only one female:p)

anti-trance

I couldn't understand it when my third grade school friends laughed at me when I told them that my parents were homosexuals. I thought a homosexual was anyone who had sex at home.

A proud sofasexual in Alabama

When I was about five or six, the girl down the street asked me if I knew what sex meant. She told me it was when adults got naked and kissed. That afternoon, my mother asked what game I was playing, and I replied, "I'm making my dolls have sex." Unfortunately, I only had one male doll, so he was sort of performing a naked dance for several of the female. I think I got that bit from watching birds choosing a mate.

Raechel

I used to believe that there was a test for sex...on your driver's license is printed SEX and on my mom's it said F. I thought she must have failed SEX.

alv

I used to believe that the way adults "did it" was to lie in bed, sound asleep, separated by about 12 inches. While sleeping the man's tallywacker would point toward the womans privates and shoot her. Of course she was totally oblivious to this. I about had a heart attack when I saw my dog and a neighbors doing the wild thing. My mom had to sit me down and explain the birds and bees to me. It blew my mind away and totally grossed me out.

Donna

When I was in 1st grade, everyone thought that a french kiss was when someone kissed your hand.
So when a boy at school told me to close my eyes and kissed my hand, I thought that he had "french-kissed" me.
When my mom came to get me from daycare that day, I told her "Mommy a boy french-kissed me today"
You can imagine her reaction.

Miranda

Around 4 years Old I asked my mom THE question (What is sex?). To avoid having to explain the whole birds and the bees concept to such a young mind she simply put it off as "It's something that mommies and daddies do". This answer suited me just fine and I went along my way, though somewhere along the line I started thinking that "sex" was just another name for "kissing" since I seen MY mommy and daddy do that all the time.

Imagine my mom & dad's shock when I came home in kidnergarten and announced, "OoOoh!! I had sex today on the bus with Rusty and I think everyone saw me!!"

Krissie

when i was young, about third grade, my (older) friend taught me about sex and said that it only worked when you were married. i thought that when my parents went to sleep, their private parts did... that. i decided not to tell them since it might scare them... they seemed too innocent to know about a dirty thing like that.

not your friend

When I was a kid my dad explained to me what prostitution was. He said it was when, "someone sells their body for sex", and I couldn't understand why anybody would chop off their limbs just so they could have sex.

Sean