When I was about 6 or 7, my brother said "Barney is so gay!" so I asked my mother what it ment and she said happy. So, I went around and exclaimed to all my family members (ALL of them, it was some sort of reunion or get together) that I was gay. And I persisted, even when they told me to stop saying it. The really funny thing is, I had to do it again last year, when I was 17.

Mark

One night i heard

...sounds...

comeing from my parents bedroom. It sounded to me like they were being attacked.I took a phone quietly outside and called 911. To this day I still think it was wrong for my parents to ground me. Was I supposed to GUESS!!!!

Traumatized

when i was younger i believed that when two guys had sex they would sword fight with their penises

Anon

When I was in kindergarten, I thought that sex meant a good time. When my parents asked me how my very first day of school went, I said that I had sex. :D

Anon

When I was in 2nd grade, I saw 2 dogs that were both facing different directions trying to walk away but their butts seemed to be stuck together. I asked my parents why and they told me very honestly that the dogs were having sex and had gotten stuck together. But they didn't tell me that it doesn't happen to people.
So a little later on in life, my mom told me that I should wait to have sex until I get married. Because of the dogs, I thought it was because whoever I had sex with I might get stuck to forever, so we might as well be married. Haha. Guess that gives a whole new meaning to "til death do us part".

Jeanine

When I was little I used to believe that the word 'beans' was just short for 'lesbians', and thus, lesbians were beans.

Being constantly eager to show off my large vocabulary, I told a woman at a coffee shop that my mother and I had eaten lesbians for dinner... I didn't understand why she quickly walked away...

Anon

When I was little, I though that a prostitute was a female lawyer... It just sounded so official. So I used to tell people that when I grew up I wanted to be a prostitute. My dad wasn't so proud...

Meg

i used to believe that porn was a religon.

Karen

My mom, my friend and I were sitting around the kitchen table.
My mom said to me "What would you like for your birthday?"
I looked at my friend who was wearing a lepord skin hat and said "A lesbian hat!"

Hey, I was 6, give me a break

Sarah

i used to believe that when people said butt sex i thought u just rubbed yur butts together and told my mom i had butt sex with my sister and she freaked out

j

when i was in fourth or fifth grade i discovered masturbation by accident when i was in the shower and i was bored. but yeah i thought i invented masturbation. i remember thinking i was going to be rich. yeah i was a stupid little boy.

whacky

My friend told me this a couple of years ago.

When she was in gradeschool, she first heard about gay people. She was puzzled by this, and wondered how exactly two men could have sex. In her mind, she decided that the two men would just slap their penis's together, making it look like some sort of bizarr thumb wrestle.

Prespector

I used to think that "orgasm" was the same thing as "organism"... so in an 8th grade Science report, I wrote about orgasms that lived in water!

Anon

when i was younger i used to think that a prostitute was a crippled person (because in titanic he says that a lady he knew was a one-armed prostitute)
imagine my mums face when i pretend to have a broken arm and say 'look, im a one-armed prostitute!'
yeah...
lol

Anon

My parents had one of those "70's 'Joy of Sex' books where the illustrations were black and white drawings of people in every sexual position imaginable. I was about five and madly into colouring when I stumbled across it on their bookshelf. Well, I believed that this was a whacked out colouring book that I hadn't got my hands on yet and proceeded to get my felts and crayons and colour some choice illustrations. Oddly enough I never heard about it, but I'm sure I definitely ruined the mood!

albertine

When I was in the 6th grade I heard my sister talking about catching some guy watching her and her friend and masturbating in his car to a magazine. I thought that "masturbating" was like comparing with envy, or coveting (the reason I thought it was bad). Several months later I decided to impress my family members with my vocabulary by telling them I felt like I was masturbating over another girl's cello because I was tired of the violin. Needless to say, they corrected me quickly.

anon

When I was younger I asled my sister what raped meant cuz i saw it on a TV show. She said, "It's when somebody does something you don't want them to do." She didn't tell me it was sex, so I assumed that it mean anything. So the next day my friend said, "You're mom called my dad and said that you're coming home with me today, okay?" I didn't want to go, so i yelled, "STOP RAPING ME!"

Amber

When I was a young child, I didn't understand why I got erections when I saw an attractive woman. I knew it had something to do with getting a woman pregnant but I didn't know how. At some point I finally came to the conclusion that an erection was like an antenna extending and that my penis was sending transmissions to get the woman pregnant. So for a while I worried that maybe I was the deadbeat father of some supermodel's baby.

Patrick

When I was little... we passed a sign that said "dolls, dolls, dolls" I was so excited that I tol my dad I wanted to go get a baby doll from there. My dad then explained those were grown-up dolls... that just made me want one more. I asked every day for a week... until my mom finally said that those were grown ups who wore doll clothes... even then I said "dress up?" She said it wasn't that kind of place!

Rather Not Say

when i was 3 or 4 my mom was tucking me into bed, and i looked up at her and proudly said "mommy, i know what sex is" which freaked her out, she braced herself and asked me what did i think sex was. i said, "do you know who peppy la pew is?" she said yea? and i said. "you know when he kisses the cat and floats up into the air with hearts all around him, thats sex" she was very releved. :)

Christina