When I was in 2nd grade, I saw 2 dogs that were both facing different directions trying to walk away but their butts seemed to be stuck together. I asked my parents why and they told me very honestly that the dogs were having sex and had gotten stuck together. But they didn't tell me that it doesn't happen to people.
So a little later on in life, my mom told me that I should wait to have sex until I get married. Because of the dogs, I thought it was because whoever I had sex with I might get stuck to forever, so we might as well be married. Haha. Guess that gives a whole new meaning to "til death do us part".

Jeanine

When I was little I used to believe that the word 'beans' was just short for 'lesbians', and thus, lesbians were beans.

Being constantly eager to show off my large vocabulary, I told a woman at a coffee shop that my mother and I had eaten lesbians for dinner... I didn't understand why she quickly walked away...

Anon

When I was little, I though that a prostitute was a female lawyer... It just sounded so official. So I used to tell people that when I grew up I wanted to be a prostitute. My dad wasn't so proud...

Meg

My mom, my friend and I were sitting around the kitchen table.
My mom said to me "What would you like for your birthday?"
I looked at my friend who was wearing a lepord skin hat and said "A lesbian hat!"

Hey, I was 6, give me a break

Sarah

When i was about 9 years old, my friend joey would constantly make jokes about masterbating (maybe he just discovered it who knows)he would make the hand gesture of "beating off" but i thought for a very long time after that boys got pleasure from punchin themselves hard and repeatedly in the penis...

hahah boy, i was WAAAY off.

Ashley Rose

When I was about six or seven, I heard the word "raped" on TV. So I asked my mother and she said "When someone is forced to do something." Later that evening watching TV, a man shouted at his son "Turn that music off now!" and I laughed and said "That kid just got raped." Oh how wrong I was...

Brady

i used to believe that when people said butt sex i thought u just rubbed yur butts together and told my mom i had butt sex with my sister and she freaked out

j

when i was in fourth or fifth grade i discovered masturbation by accident when i was in the shower and i was bored. but yeah i thought i invented masturbation. i remember thinking i was going to be rich. yeah i was a stupid little boy.

whacky

My friend told me this a couple of years ago.

When she was in gradeschool, she first heard about gay people. She was puzzled by this, and wondered how exactly two men could have sex. In her mind, she decided that the two men would just slap their penis's together, making it look like some sort of bizarr thumb wrestle.

Prespector

I used to think that "orgasm" was the same thing as "organism"... so in an 8th grade Science report, I wrote about orgasms that lived in water!

Anon

when i was younger i used to think that a prostitute was a crippled person (because in titanic he says that a lady he knew was a one-armed prostitute)
imagine my mums face when i pretend to have a broken arm and say 'look, im a one-armed prostitute!'
yeah...
lol

Anon

My parents had one of those "70's 'Joy of Sex' books where the illustrations were black and white drawings of people in every sexual position imaginable. I was about five and madly into colouring when I stumbled across it on their bookshelf. Well, I believed that this was a whacked out colouring book that I hadn't got my hands on yet and proceeded to get my felts and crayons and colour some choice illustrations. Oddly enough I never heard about it, but I'm sure I definitely ruined the mood!

albertine

I asked my mother what a 'homosexual' was when I was 11. She said it was when men danced together.

Nick Tucker

When I was younger I asled my sister what raped meant cuz i saw it on a TV show. She said, "It's when somebody does something you don't want them to do." She didn't tell me it was sex, so I assumed that it mean anything. So the next day my friend said, "You're mom called my dad and said that you're coming home with me today, okay?" I didn't want to go, so i yelled, "STOP RAPING ME!"

Amber

When I frst heard of Homosexuals I thought they were just another makey-upey person a la Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Bogey Man...I was expecting to hear my folks saying if you don't eat your vedge the Homosexuals will get you

Daithí

When I was a young child, I didn't understand why I got erections when I saw an attractive woman. I knew it had something to do with getting a woman pregnant but I didn't know how. At some point I finally came to the conclusion that an erection was like an antenna extending and that my penis was sending transmissions to get the woman pregnant. So for a while I worried that maybe I was the deadbeat father of some supermodel's baby.

Patrick

A friend told me all about humping when I was 8 or 9. It involved two people taking their pants off of course. Then one would lay down and the other one would jump on top of that person. To demonstrate he planned to jump from the handicap bathroom stall bar, which was about 3 off of the ground. He landed hard on me with all of his body weight. I decided that humping wasn't such a great thing that day.

Lee

I was 8 or so and had a lot of books about cats. One of them had a section on breeding cats, with an illustration of two cats mating and a caption like, "the male introduces the penis into the female's vagina", or something along those lines. I said to my mom, "That's what cats do, but what do people do?" She told me that people did the same thing, but seemed reluctant to explain further. I was completely baffled, because I couldn't imagine any situation when a man would insert his penis into a woman's vagina. I figured maybe it could happen by accident, like if they were walking and accidentally bumped into each other at a certain angle, it would be like, "Whoops, my penis accidentally entered your vagina, sorry!"

andrea

when i was 3 or 4 my mom was tucking me into bed, and i looked up at her and proudly said "mommy, i know what sex is" which freaked her out, she braced herself and asked me what did i think sex was. i said, "do you know who peppy la pew is?" she said yea? and i said. "you know when he kisses the cat and floats up into the air with hearts all around him, thats sex" she was very releved. :)

Christina

When I was very young I didn't realize girls had a hole between their legs. I just thought they had no penis, with a hairy spot. I told my cousin how embarassed I would be if I had an errection while trying to have sex. which to me was the act of rubbing the flacid penis on a girls hairy spot.

ME