My sister told me that, unless I did a song and a dance after I had a poo the Toilet Monster would come and get me...

the song went "Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ug, Toilet Monster please don't come"

bitch.

Anon

When I was 8 or 9, one of my friends told me that the toilet talked to her when she used it late at night. for a good 4 or 5 years, I was terrified to go at night. I'd put the lid down immediately, wash my hands, do whatever else I could to do to delay the actual flushing, and then do a flush-and-run. The toilet never did say anything, though, and somehow I was always kind of insulted that it didn't - it would talk to her and not to me.

Liz H.

When I was little, I used to be scared to use the bathroom on the first floor; I had a phobia that Abraham Lincoln lived in my shower.

Sophia

I used to think that whenever you flushed the toilet germs would come spraying out, so I ALWAYS made sure to close the toilet lid, then I washed my hands, opened the door, flushed and ran for it!!
Then I went to a public toilet, and, horror of horrors, IT DIDN'T HAVE A LID!!! I was so terrified that I opened the door, wen't and got a stick, and reached in and pushed the button with it before runnin like hell for home and then washing my arm with disinfectant, which turned out to be mouthwash as I couldn't read.

magz

As a kid, I was scared of things coming out of the toilet while I was sitting on it...a rat, a snake, a hand. The worst was what I thought would come out when I was done using it. I was scared to death of getting shots, and I thought that if I kept my naked bum near the toilet for too long, a mean man would come up and jab me with a needle. When I was through using the toilet, I would turn around as fast as I could, pull up my pants, flush the toilet and RUN! I had to run downstairs and sit on the couch before the toilet was done flushing or the evil shot man could still jab me with that needle. Really stupid, but I still get freaked out when my naked bum is facing a flushing toilet.

weirdo

In the boy's toilets at our primary school, there used to be 5 cubicles, however one of them never opened. For years everyone thought that a pupil had fallen down the toilet and the cubicle had been sealed. None of the teachers knew we thought this. Anyway, one parent's evening (student-teacher conference) someone's father was desperate to use the toilet so he just opened the door to the forbidden cubicle and walked in. Needless to say there was mass hysteria from the boy in the toilet, who all came screaming out. Turns out that the door had just been stuck with bubble gum. I also later found out that the teachers knew about it, but never told because they liked the idea of an emergency staff toilet that was always free and CLEAN!

Aardmann

Used to be absolutely certain that if I didn't make it back to my room before the toilet cistern finished filling then The Incredible Hulk would chase me down. Quite what The Hulk was supposed to be doing in my toilet, I'm not sure.

D Bull

I used to believe that there were two monsters in the toilet, a smart, mean one that was the boss and a dumb one that was his henchman. When you were sat on the toilet I they would be plotting how to get you once you flushed the toilet (that was the only time they could get you). I always used to open the toilet door before flushing so that I could jump out of the room before they got me. The dumb monster always used to trip up and the nasty monster would yell at him for missing me. The nasty monster was the deep noise that comes first when you flush and the hissing of the cistern filling up again was the dumb monster's whiney voice!

Maria

Up until I was 7, I believed I had to make it down the stairs before the toilet finished flushing, or else I'd be eaten by the 'Bog Monster'. I would stand as far from the toilet as possible before flushing it, then run like hell down the stairs. I used to hate going to the toilet at my gran's house because it had a very short flush and the staircase was very, very long. To make it downstairs without being eaten I had to throw myself off the last 5 or 6 steps, often smashing painfully into the hallway floor. My gran always did wonder why I had to be at bursting point before going, and why afterwards I'd always crash down the stairs and end up sprawled all over the carpet!

kester

I used to believe that when a toilet gets clogged, it was because it was angry. Whenever someone took a huge dump, it would throw it back up because it didn't like it. So, whenever I got done, right after I flushed, I ran like hell out of the bathroom. I also used to believe the plunger was to fight the agrivated potty. Not only that, but if things got WAY too out of hand, our favorite Italian plumber MARIO would save the day.

fatty

Everytime I had to go to the bathroom when I was little, my sister would tell me not to put down the seat because that would mean the evil toilet man would suck me up and I'd never come out. I believed her, and when I went to go to the bathroom, I put DOWN the seat, thinking I'd be safe. When I sat down, my butt fell in the toilet and started screaming, "HELP! THE TOILET MAN IS SUCKING ME UP!"

caraboo

when i was little, i looked up to my brother, older than me by 5 years. We shared a room until i was seven.
At night, when he would go to the bathroom and flush the toilet. He would then RUN down the hall and jump into his bed and pull up his covers really fast
I asked him why he did this, and he said that by the time the toilet finishes flushing, you have to be in your bed and under your covers or the Boogie Man would come and eat you. Of course, i believed him.
When i was about six, i went to the bathroom at night. I flushed the toilet and ran down the hall. However, i was a very clumsy child, and i ran into the wall. By the time i rubbed my foot, the toilet had stopped flushing, and i wasnt in my room! i ran into my parents room and cried, kissing them madly and saying i was going to get eaten...

...my parents still laugh about that one. Thank you so much older brother...

Boogie Girl

I remember watching an episode of The Simpsons when I was about 5. In it, a big grey building was demolished: it just blew up and fell into itself. I believed that flushing the tiolet would cause my house to do the same thing, so I would flush and sprint outside. Funny that I never warned my parents or sister, I just ran for my own life.

Fi

When I was a kid I always thought that at night if the toilet lid wasn't shut burglars would sneak in to the house through the toilet!

Anon

When I was little I used to have lots of nightmares about toilets overflowing + flooding the world. For some reason I believed this could actually happen, + I decided that the best way to avoid it was to befriend each toilet I used.
I would introduce myself to public toilets, + try to use the same one if I went there again so it wouldn't think I'd gone off with someone else, 'cos that would make it really, really angry. + you don't want to upset someone with the power to flood the world, do you?

Nin

i used to be afraid to flush the toilet because i thought that it would suck me down and i would never see my family again then i would have to live in a giant crap place with other kids who were sucked in the toilet

maria

When I was about five, my best friend told me that a vampire lived in the end cubicle of the girl's toilets at school. The other cubicles had a ghost and a goblin that were decidedly scarier.
She said the vampire would eat us if we went in wearing a watch. So every time one of us needed to go in there, we gave our watch to the other girl.
One time she was not in class - I really had to go, so I ran as fast as I could, skidded on the mopped floor and knocked myself out on the wall next to the cubicle.

Eleanor

After my sister and I watched Nightmare on Elm St. at the ages of 5 and 6, we were so afraid that Freddy Kruger would pull us through the toiled that one of us had to hold the other's hand while sitting down. That way, we could help pull each other off the toilet if the hand tried to reach up and grab us.

Jess

I got told once by my friend that he knew someone who died by a hand that came up the toilet and pulled them in! Everytime i went toilet after that i would go armed with a Hammer from my Dad's toolbox. Waiting for the hand to appear... It never did appear! Funny That!

Hand Catcher!

When i was little i shared a room with my older twins sisters.
They used to tell me that there was a creature that lived in the toilet called "murd the turd" who would come from the toilet and kiss me if i didn't go to sleep straight away.
To scare me they used to dangle a brown stocking filled with newspaper, with legs, wobbly eyes and lips from the top bunk when i was sleeping on the bottom.
To prove that he really did exist and did visit me when i only pretended to go to sleep they would put a trail of toilet paper from the toilet to my bed head before bed time. In the morning there would be little brown footprints on the paper and a brown smear on my cheek - brown lipstick thankfully!

amanda