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I used to think that spam was semen so I was very confused when people talked about buying it in tins.
I was in a restaurant on my birthday with my husband and two samall boy, it was my birthday, a few days before christmas. There was loud music playing and the place was full. My 6 yr old son wanted the toilet, so my husband took him. When he came out we were eating and he was trying to tell me something, i couldnt hear because the music was very loud, all i could hear was something about dad buying chewing gum. When the music stopped i asked him to repeat it.... he shouted..." I didnt think dad liked chewing gum...but hes just bought some from the machine in the toilets!"...the whole place heard him, needless to say i was on the floor laughing...as were everyone else!.. kids!
In high school I started noticing the change in my female friendís derrieres. I thought that the change from having a skinny butt when they were in junior high to having shapely ones in high school was from having sex and that the penis inserted in the vagina pushed the butt cheeks subtly but permanently out and that the more times she had sex, the fuller and rounder her butt would become.
when i was babysitting for the boy next door he started to talk about sex and how his dog got the dog next door pregnant, when i asked him what sex was he said "its when you get naked" he thought the dogs had taken thier collars of together!
When I first heard about homosexuality I was told that you "just wake up one day and you were gay." I couldn't sleep for 3 days worrying about this.
When I was about nine i asked my dad what porn was and he told me that it was a vegetable. I was so confused why my older brother kept searching my dads room for magazines of vegetables
When I was 8 or 9 I was already pretty wise. I knew for example what position 69 was and how it was done. But I didn't know why it was called 69.
I used to believe that somewhere in the process of growing up you would be taught let's say 100 positions and everybody knew them. So that you could switch from 69 to 83 and then back to 14 and so on, and so on..
It took me many years to find out why position 69 is called that way
I used to believe that there was a test for sex...on your driver's license is printed SEX and on my mom's it said F. I thought she must have failed SEX.
when i was little... i was watching the news and i heard the word 'raped'. i asked my mom and she gave me a very hurried and vague description that was basically when someone was doing something you didn't like and wouldn't stop.
later that night, my dad was tickling me and i screamed "stop!!! stop!! your raping me!!"
luckily we were in our own house. my dad immediately stopped and didn't talk to me the rest of the day and i think then my mom described what it was and i was completely embarassed.
I didn't know what masturbation was until 8th grade. I was always a geeky kid and for some reason I thought it was related to chemistry...perhaps some method of mixing chemicals. I discovered how very wrong I was when a boy asked me if I masturbated, and I replied, "No, I haven't learned how to do that yet. Maybe Mr. Blevins will teach us."
This one is about my sister. My family and family of my family all used to hang out together. One day my sister who was about 9 at the time came crying to my mom that a cousin of a family member who was 13 had sex with her. My mom was in shock, the boy denied it of course. My mom then asked her what he did. She said he fell on her. She was convinced because he was on top of her they had sex.
When i was little, I believe that parents had to check themselves into the hospital just so they could have sex!
When I was young (about 8 or so) I used to think that sex was what happened when you sharpened a pencil. Still not entirely sure how that one came about...
I always thought that when a man and woman wanted to 'make a baby', their nipples had to be aligned as well as their nether regions!!
I just couldn't figure out what you would do if you were smaller than your boyfriend/husband!!!!
I used to think a womens vigina hole was about an inch below her belly button. Needless to say i was pretty shocked the first time I stuck my hand down a girls pants and couldnt find the hole! With a little help I was well on my way to manhood.
When I was younger, I heard my parents having sex one night. I didnt know that they were having sex at the time, I thought that they were just having a jumping on the bed contest, and I could tell that they were getting tired because they were breathing hard. The next morning I asked my mom who won.
after watching a nature show about black widow spiders, i used to believe that when i first had sex i would have to eat my male partner..
I used to believe that the way adults "did it" was to lie in bed, sound asleep, separated by about 12 inches. While sleeping the man's tallywacker would point toward the womans privates and shoot her. Of course she was totally oblivious to this. I about had a heart attack when I saw my dog and a neighbors doing the wild thing. My mom had to sit me down and explain the birds and bees to me. It blew my mind away and totally grossed me out.
When I was in the 6th grade I heard my sister talking about catching some guy watching her and her friend and masturbating in his car to a magazine. I thought that "masturbating" was like comparing with envy, or coveting (the reason I thought it was bad). Several months later I decided to impress my family members with my vocabulary by telling them I felt like I was masturbating over another girl's cello because I was tired of the violin. Needless to say, they corrected me quickly.
when I was really young, before I started "coming" during masturbation I read that it was really messy and got everywhere, so I thought it would be just like peeing. every time I did "it" I was worried I would start to come and it would collect into a big pile on the floor and start flooding or something...