sex

Guess I was dyslexic and didn't know it,but as an elementary student I thought that adults had sex by standing back to back. So any time some kid wanted to measure his or her height to mine, by standing back to back, I'd get terribly embarassed.

Donna

When we were about 12, my friend said during a class of 25 students that 'it must hurt to have sex', when asked why he replied 'because it must be hard to fit your balls in!!'. Everyone laughed for a long long time.....

But he was adamant that the penis and the testicles had to go in the vagina and argued that we were all wrong because 'how else is the sperm meant to get in!!'

BartholemewH

when i was younger i heard my parents having sex i was worried so i went into my older brothers room who said my mum was just having a nightmare and that i should leave her alone, but i walked in anyway and for ages afterwards i thought you only had nightmares if you were rubbing against a guy. Imagine my suprise when i had one

oooooooh dont think i should tell u that one

when my friend was about 9, he was at a big family party in the house. they were watching tv and infront of everyone he said to his dad "daddy, why does my willy get bigger when i see girls' boobies on the tv?" everyone in the room fell over laughing.

gavin

In my town when I was about 10 years old, there was a hardware store that was called "the Do-It Center." I am totally serious. Don't ask me why anyone thought that was a good name for a store. Well, I was completely convinced that this was a place where grown-ups went to have sex. I was really glad my parents didn't "shop" there. :)

Stephanie

When I was young (about 7 or 8), my mother took me on a trip to Washington D.C. We were in the gift shop of the Air & Space museum of the Smithsonian and I wanted some crappy toy that I saw in the window. Unfortunately, they were all sold out. Me, being a snot of a kid, started to have a fit & yelled " Oh yeah? I guess they had a gangbang & sold them all". She turned 6 shades of red & dragged me out of the store to a quiet corner, away from the snickering store patrons and asked me where I had heard that word. I explained that I had heard some older kids at school talking about getting together for a gangbang, and assumed it was some sort of large gathering of people. And while I was partially correct, I was still WAY WAAAAY off the mark!

Joe G.

I used to believe that the phrase was "to sex" rather than "to have sex," so in order to tease my friends I would say "Amelia wants to sex with Jake!" and laugh hysterically.

Kira

When I was little I thought sex meant sleep since that's what it seemed like in movies. One day when I was sleeping with my dad my mom asked from another room "what are you doing?" and i said "I'm having sex with my dad!"

sky buggy

i used to believed that when having sex, all the girl would have to do was shake her boobs in the mans face and then they would be done.

haha.

Breezie

When i was little i wanted to come to sleep with my parents because i had a bad dream so when i cam up the door it was already slightly open so i heard my mom screaming and i peeked in and i could see my mom and dad having it (but i didn't know what that was yet) so i thought my dad was hurting my mom(because she was screaming) and i called the police and i ran to my room when the police came they ran into my parents room and then caught my parents naked!!!

My parents or the police didnt decide to tell me what sex is until i was 11 so until then i thought sex was when the man hurt the girl

Sex hurts:)

When I first heard about Ellen Degeneres "coming out of the closet," I knew it had a connection to her sexuality...but I thought she literally came out of the closet and said "I'm gay."

Anon

One night i heard

...sounds...

comeing from my parents bedroom. It sounded to me like they were being attacked.I took a phone quietly outside and called 911. To this day I still think it was wrong for my parents to ground me. Was I supposed to GUESS!!!!

Traumatized

Never having heard the word before, my first impression of the word 'heterosexual' was that is was a person attracted to gay people of the opposite sex.

Rafaela

My two friends and I were sitting at a lunch table talking about sex. My friend asked how/why it feels good. I said because the guy goes in and out. They both looked at me like I had sprung another head and asked what I meant by 'in and out'. They both thought the guy put his penis in and you just sat there until he comes, then you're done. We're 17.

Bee

When I was 10, I heard the term red light district and thought ithat anyone who had a red light in front of thier house must be a prostitute!My friend and I used to yell there's another one!When we saw a red light one someone's front porch/garden We were were amazed at the number of supposed prostitutes in our own neighborhood! One house was owned by a very old lady who lived alone, and we were in the car with my mom when we saw her go in with an equally old man with a walker.I said to my friend. that I guess Mrs. Jones had to go back to "her old profession" because her husband had died.My mom asked what on earth was I talking about. I said, knowingly about the red light and what that always meant.The implication was so ridiculous that it took her awhile to get what I meant, but let's just say that before the evening was over, I and my friend were straightened out.Boy did I feel dumb!

The ex jr. Vice squad

My older sister and I found my dad's secret stash of "girlie" magazines one day. One picture portrayed a man with his penis in the woman's mouth, while another portrayed a woman with her mouth on another woman's wet-looking lower extremities.

It was a long time before I realized that they weren't allowing other people to pee in their mouths. (Boy was I disgusted at first.)

Now Grown Up in the Midwest...

When I was young (about 3-4) I used to beleive that sex was when a boy and a girl would go to a large metal building and dance together naked, so when my Grandma said something to my Mom or Dad about how all the kids are having sex before marriage (we were parked next to a metal building) I thought that a bunch of teens were dancing naked inside.

Anon

When I was a kid, I thought "rape" meant removing one's sandals in public, usually in a public park.

A classmate in fourth grade claimed "pewter" meant a man placing his penis in a woman's breast, and I and the rest of my class believed it. Our teacher was baffled whenever her references to ancient pewter artifacts were greeted by giggles.

F Panucci

I used to believe that there was always a baby inside a girl, just waiting to come out. Whenever I went to the bathroom, I'd be too scared to poop because I thought that if I pushed too hard, a baby would come out, fall in the toilet and drown.

Laura

up until i was about ten, i thought that unisex salons were places where people would go to have sex and i was too embarassed to ask if my assumption was right, i just kind of let it sit in my head and didn't say anything about it.

urnewbuddee