sex

I used to believe a man and a woman needed a doctor to put their parts together when they did it.

Phil

untill i was about 7 i thought that you had to have 2 people bouncing on a bed to make babies because once i heard my parents going at it and i asked my sister what the noise was and she said that they were making babies

SV

My male neighbor told me one day, "My brother told me what sex is. He says it's when the guy pees on the girl's private. And he says that's why he never wants to have sex, and I don't either."
So then i said, "Ewww! I don't want to have sex ever either!"

Jess

When i was 16 i was left looking after my little brother who was 12 at the time. (and not very clued up) Well my boyfriend came over after my little brother had gone to bed, and well we where being passionate in my room. This woke my brother up and he came in to see what the noise was. Me or my boyfriend didn't hear him. Next thing we knew he was running back up the stairs with his criket bat screaming at him to get off me and saying he had rung the police.

Needless to say 4 years later im still with the same boyfriend and love telling my brothers friends, and his girlfriend the story.

anono

I used to believe gay men had sex by rubbing their penises together.

Anon

When I was about 9, I read somewhere that a good girl won't let herself be touched by a man, otherwise she would get pregnant. That became a big problem for me since I didn't know how to avoid "a man's touch". The day after as I entered school I bumped into a classmate, and gosh I thought I was pregnant. What shall I do now? My immediate problem was to choose a proper name for my child!!!

Alice

When I was very young, I thought being a Lesbian meant the same thing as being Iranian, as in...from another country. So I could not understand the news on tv being so upset about these women coming from the country Lesbia. My girlfriend laughs about the irony.

Adrianne Loves Tonya

when i was 5 i once asked my mom about sex, so she told me that sex "was when the daddy gives the mommy a seed and she eats it, so therefere, she becomes pregnant"..i always though that a man would pee out a see and a woman would just eat it, they wouldnt even have to get naked for this ceremony..i also thought that when people wanted to have sex, just for fun, they would get on a bed [fully dressed], the woman would get on top of a man, and just bounce on his stomach..i even tried it with my guy friend when i was six [my grandma walked in on us!]..haha its hillarious looking back on it now

embarassed

When I was little, I used to believe that sex was when a man and a woman both peed at the same time and essentially sword fought with their pee.

Anon

Imagine a coupla' 2-Year olds; they're frightened but curious about the gasping & screeching noises coming from "Mom & Dads'" bedroom.
(Daddy seems to be chewing on Mom, which is also kinda ODD ... )
Mom eventually shoos them away, saying the Sign on their door says "She's Busy" (of course, the kids haven't learned how to read yet ...)

Sometime in the future, these two kids are at a horror movie (this being a small town, so is their School Teacher)
The School Teacher asks them to describe what the movie's about (preparation for Public Speech & Essays?)
And, these two kids reply "The Lady is having Sex with the Monster, and now SHE'S BUSY!"

'Lester

When I was about 5 my friend and I went to the library with her mother. My friend's mother let us look at the reproduction books that showed animals in various breeding positions and the man lying on top of the woman. I had never seen such books, and I didn't know anything about sex or how babies were really made. I envisioned my parents in the act of making me. I figured Dad would lay on top of Mom and they would just lay there and watch the clock to make sure they had been there long enough to make a baby. I never figured they would actually enjoy it!

Now I know the rest of the story

The boy who first told me about sex assured me that babies resulted from the simple act of penetration for six minutes. Being a clever kid, I immediately figured out that longer durations must be the cause of twins, triplets, etc. What puzzled me was how twins and triplets could be so relatively rare if they were so easy to produce.

Charlie G

when i was little, i used to watch my mom's soap opera with her. One episode 2 characters were kissing when i said "mommy, they're gonna have sex now". My mom was appalled when i said that and asked me "do you even know what sex is?" I replied, "sure, its when u kiss and get naked."

nikki

When people wrote GSOH in a personal ad, I thought it meant "gay, straight or homosexual".

Mat

My sister told me that sex was when the girl got on the boy's back and did a poo. I believed her!!!!!!!!

stupid person

when i was a LOT younger me and my best friend (who was a boy) had heard my older sisters tokin about sex, she had mentioned he boyfriend being really far in her. so decided that sex was when a boy put his big toe in a girls belly button!!! (its was the only explanation at the time!)

kirsty

When I went to preschool, a girl in my class used to brag about having had sex. She also gave me and my friends all the details.

She said to have sex, a boy and a girl had to do six things (Sex is pronounced the same way as six in Norwegian). I can't remember all six things, but I think it included putting your finger in your partners butt, then licking it (growse!).

PS. I have never really found out if she did all those things with someone...

Never had sex this way...

When I was about 6 I asked my mom what 69 meant, she told me it was another word for the black and white yin yang symbol. I thought 69 was a yin yang for years, I always wondered why people talked about it like it was a bad thing.

Anon

When I was 13 I used to believe that the yellow bag in the shower was for me to releave myself.
I releaved myself for years in the yellow bag. My mom walked in on me once and got a good laugh.

Panda boy

When I was 9 or 10, I overheard my sisters making fun of lesbians and I asked what they were. My sister said that they were people from the country of Lesbos. I got really angry because it didn't seem right to make fun of someone because of where they came from!

Anon