sex

i used to believe that 69 was a number game. And then when i asked my mom if she wanted to play i wondered why she looked mortified.

Haywood Jublowme

I used to believe that babies were concieved by will power. You know the phrase 'deciding to have a baby'? I just assumed that people decided to have a baby and then later they did

Az

Until I was 6, I thought that sex happened when a man kissed a woman between her legs. All I knew of men's bodies were my Ken dolls, so I figured the only sexual thing about men was their lips for kissing. I used to make my Barbies "have sex" all the time. One day my sister found me doing this, and told me that sex was when a man sticks his "ding dong" in your "hoo hoo" and showed me a book with the male genitalia. That was when I became a lesbian.

Rina

when i was at primary school some guy called me a lesbian so i went home and asked my mum what it was, she told me it was when two girls love each other so for years i thought she was a lesbian because she loved me and my granny!!!!!!

biggin up the biffy

I used to belief that laying on top of a boy while naked was having sex and with some of my male friends, I "practiced" this at around the age of 7 and 8 because I wanted to be really good at sex so I could have lots of kids when I was older.

Anon

when i was in 5th grade, we watched a sex movie to teach us about it. when the teacher talked about mastrbation and orgasms, i thought an orgasm was the long word for orgy. when she asked us how many had experienced orgys and many kids actually raised their hands, i was disgusted! go figure

confused

When I was about eight or nine, I was first starting to learn about sex. My brother (six years older than me) found this terribly amusing. He told me all about orgasms and cumming. He described a female orgasm as "when she starts screaming for thirty seconds really loudly and can't stop"! I asked him if you could have an orgasm without screaming, and he said no. Boy was I scared! He had forgotten to explain that orgasms only come from having sex or masturbating, and I thought I was just going to spontaneously have one for the next two years! I was relieved to find out that wasn't true.

Been there, done that

Whenever I saw people in television shows or movies who were getting ready to have sex, the man was usually on top.

I never understood why any woman would want to be on the bottom. I thought the man would lie on top of the woman, resting all his weight on her.

I knew if this ever happened to me, I would suffocate and die. I vowed to myself that when I had sex, I would make the man be on the bottom because he was stronger, and I wouldn't kill him.

Julia

This one time I saw a movie with Kristy Alley where she had sex with this old guy and the next morning when she wakes up, he is dead. Being the brilliant kid I was, I thought that this was a normal thing. One night, I was at my dad's studio apartment sleeping on the sofa when I woke up to him and his girlfriend going at it. I was so terrified that one of them were going to die from having sex that I just laid there and cried the entire time.

Jesse

For some reason, as a little boy, I got it in my head that semen was blue. One day in the school yard a bunch of us were talking about sex and who we liked. I liked a girl named Jenny. So, trying to be cool, I said, "I want to shoot my blue jizz all over Jenny." You'll never see five 5th grade boys with more vacant looks.

Johnny

As a young child, I understood what sex was, and also understood that there were gay men. However, I couldn't make the connection of how gay men had sex, since neither of them had a vagina. I finally concluded that they rubbed their penises together really fast, like you would with two sticks trying to make a fire.

Anon

I once heard the word masturbation and went and asked my mother what it meant. She told me it meant playing with yourself which I took a bit too literally. If I was playing in the garden or with my toys on my own I'd shout 'Im masturbating!'

A few days later I had been corrected :D LMAO

Shaz

I used to believe that when I heard noises from my parents room at night, they were praying.

Jugabamos

In Jr High I remember asking someone what masturbation was and believing for the longest time that it was having sex with your couch.

Lynn

When i was little, i sneaked into our hall in the middle of the night. i heard some really weird sounds coming from my parents room. i got closer and looked under the door, but all i could see was a bright red light. for years i was convinced that my parents were really the devil and they turned into their true form at night. turns out they just had a red lamp for 'special' nights.

Cassie

I used to think that girls were actually luckier than boys. Even though girls got periods, it was once a month, and pretty predictable. Boys, on the other hand, never knew when white stuff would come out of them.

Hannah

When my dad told me he had divorced my mother because he was gay, I thought that just meant he was happy all the time, and because my mom was Catholic, she couldn't tolerate excessive happiness because it was sinful, so he just had to go. What really confused me was how my sister discovered this "truth" by reading my father's magazines.

nova satori

A nose job is plastic surgery, so I associated anything that had the word 'job' in the expression to be plastic surgery. I always wondered why people would want plastic surgery on their hand.

DSB

When I was little I used to think there was an actual STORY about the "Birds and the Bees." I asked my mother, (a Russian immigrant who had never heard of the expression,) to tell me the story; to which she replied, "What kind of birds do you want to know about?" I was angry and frustrated that she was keeping it from me.

Alex

I didn't think parents were allowed to have sex after they had kids. I never knew they did until I was around 12 and went looking through their drawers and found a box of condoms. Then for almost a month I wouldn't touch my parents because I decided they were gross for having sex and they broke the rules.

never-had-the-talk