sex

That sex was a game of who can bounce the bed the fastest so when i heard my dad say " LETS HAVE FUN TONIGHT i said GO on dad play sex it looks fun and i bet youll make the bed bounce!!!!!
my dad burst out laughin!

embarressed shanice

Well, when I was 6, I always thought having sex was just kissing. Then one day, I heard my sister saying to her friend that she had never had sex in her life.

So, being the little rude kid that I was, I burst into her room and said, "You've never had sex? Me and Anthony have sex at the playground everyday!"

She and her friend just burst into laughter. They still bug me about that. Whoopsy...

The odd one

My mother always used the term "piece of tail" instead of just saying "sex". As a youngster, when I would over hear her say 'someone getting a piece of tail' that they were going to buy a racoon skin hat (the Davey Crocket style with the long tail in the back) I had always wanted one of those hats and had once asked Santa in a letter for "a piece of tail".

gracie

When I was little I used to think horny meant funny so one day my mom made a joke and I went "Oh mother, your so horny!' Her and her friends laughed for a long time!

Tammy

I used to think an orgasm was a special type of orange juice because it sounded similar.

HaPpY

when i was younger (maybe 7?) my mom got me this book about sex so that she wouldn't have to explain it to me herself. there was a section in there about masturabtion, which was defined as "playing with yourself." so for a while after that, if i was playing dolls or something by myself, i thought that was "masturbating."

jasmine

At some point, I think I was about 8, I had figured out that when you have sex, the guy's penis goes hard and it goes inside the vagina. I also knew that the whole thing 'ends' with an orgasm.

But no one had informed me of the movements involved - so I assumed sex was something really romantic where the guy lies on top of the girl, slides in, and then they just lie still and look each other in the eye and kiss while the good feeling just builds up inside them until they come.

Needless to say I was very disappointed once I realised how it really works. =(

Poppin

When I was little I had a vague idea of what an orgasm was: something that felt really, really good and was essentially the /other/ point of sex. I always figured that the orgasm lasted the entire sex session, and that's why people liked to do it so much.

When I was around eleven I found out that an orgasm only lasts about 10 or so seconds. I thought, "What a jip!" And vowed never to have sex, because having to wait 15 minutes for 10 seconds of pleasure seemed like a total waste of time.

Heather

when i was 10 i asked my parents if i could watch dick tracy, she said yes.

When she heard noises comng through the kitchen hatch she questioned me as to what i was watching.

I was actually watching tracy dick (a porno). I will never look at a washing up brush the same!!!

nutty bird

when my son was about five years old and who used to suffer from asthma, was once telling our very nosey neighbour 'when mummy goes in the bedroom with daddy, she always gets an asthma attack, because I can hear her going "ooh ahh oh yeah ahh hu huh hoh"
I was too embarrassed to show my face for days afterwards I can tell you, kids eh

Nicky, Morecambe

I used to think that the word homosexual meant somone who has sex with their house. I was very little, therefore thought sex was kissing. I even tried kissing my wall, and the sofa.

Cherise

When I was about 8, I was told that when a woman and a man are ready to have children the man's penis enters the vagina and 'have sex'. What the word "sex" meant was not explained to me, so I made up a explanation in my head and thought that the end or 'head' of a man's penis falls off into the vagina, and grows into a baby.
That night, I tried removing the end of my penis, to no avail. I assumed I would never be able to concieve children, and was pretty upset about that for a few years, until sex education came along when I was about 14.

Bryce

When I first heard the word "autoeroticism", I thought that autoeroticism was like having sex with a car.

Anon

When I was little I thought a man's penis would move on it's own during sex. All they had to do was put it in the woman and then just lie there while it moves around like a snake. DUH!!

Jen

When I was little, I used to believe sex was illegal.

I was allowed to watch R-rated movies as I was growing-up, and it always seemed that the cops would arrest the guy while he was having sex; being unable to comprehend the plot, it seemed that the bad-guy could rob, murder, etc., without worry, but as soon as he and his girl were together, THAT'S when the cops would show-up.

Stu

When I was very young I somehow heard the word "dildo" and asked my father what it meant. He told me it was an electric banana. Now, fast forward to Thanksgiving with mother's side of the family and my mother is telling me I'm too young to listen in on the grownup's conversation. Well, I was having none of that! Squaring my shoulders proudly I loudly informed her (and everyone else) that I knew what a dildo was and generously provided the definition. They stared at me in shocked horror while my dad nearly fell off the couch in the other room laughing. Ah, to be a child again.

FuzzyBlueElf

I used to believe that having sex was a mom and a dad arguing. My brothers (I have 2 older ones) used to tease me mercilessly about my parents having sex the night before and I could never understand it because my room was next to theirs and the only thing I had heard was moaning...no yelling or screaming. Woke my parents up real great one time when we had a house full of company and my mom yelled at one of my brothers and there I was saying, there she goes, having SEX again.

a bit confused

I began playing the guitar when I was around twelve.One day when my cousins where all gathered at our house they wanted me to play some songs and so I did.As I finished playing, I took my guitar, got up and shouted "I WILL MASTURBATE" thinking that masturbation was creating masterpieces(wow).They still tease me about this... (PS all my cousins are male, i'm the only one female:p)

anti-trance

I couldn't understand it when my third grade school friends laughed at me when I told them that my parents were homosexuals. I thought a homosexual was anyone who had sex at home.

A proud sofasexual in Alabama

When I was about five or six, the girl down the street asked me if I knew what sex meant. She told me it was when adults got naked and kissed. That afternoon, my mother asked what game I was playing, and I replied, "I'm making my dolls have sex." Unfortunately, I only had one male doll, so he was sort of performing a naked dance for several of the female. I think I got that bit from watching birds choosing a mate.

Raechel