sex

when i was younger i used to think that a prostitute was a crippled person (because in titanic he says that a lady he knew was a one-armed prostitute)
imagine my mums face when i pretend to have a broken arm and say 'look, im a one-armed prostitute!'
yeah...
lol

Anon

My parents had one of those "70's 'Joy of Sex' books where the illustrations were black and white drawings of people in every sexual position imaginable. I was about five and madly into colouring when I stumbled across it on their bookshelf. Well, I believed that this was a whacked out colouring book that I hadn't got my hands on yet and proceeded to get my felts and crayons and colour some choice illustrations. Oddly enough I never heard about it, but I'm sure I definitely ruined the mood!

albertine

I asked my mother what a 'homosexual' was when I was 11. She said it was when men danced together.

Nick Tucker

When I was about 8 I heard about masturbation for the first time from my friend's older brother and his friend (they were about 14). They were talking about semen saying it was really really sticky, like super-glue. One of them said that if you get it on your hands it would stick them together and you'd never be able to get them apart. I was petrified. I believed this for years.

Mux

When I was younger I asled my sister what raped meant cuz i saw it on a TV show. She said, "It's when somebody does something you don't want them to do." She didn't tell me it was sex, so I assumed that it mean anything. So the next day my friend said, "You're mom called my dad and said that you're coming home with me today, okay?" I didn't want to go, so i yelled, "STOP RAPING ME!"

Amber

When I frst heard of Homosexuals I thought they were just another makey-upey person a la Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Bogey Man...I was expecting to hear my folks saying if you don't eat your vedge the Homosexuals will get you

Daithí

When I was a young child, I didn't understand why I got erections when I saw an attractive woman. I knew it had something to do with getting a woman pregnant but I didn't know how. At some point I finally came to the conclusion that an erection was like an antenna extending and that my penis was sending transmissions to get the woman pregnant. So for a while I worried that maybe I was the deadbeat father of some supermodel's baby.

Patrick

When I was little... we passed a sign that said "dolls, dolls, dolls" I was so excited that I tol my dad I wanted to go get a baby doll from there. My dad then explained those were grown-up dolls... that just made me want one more. I asked every day for a week... until my mom finally said that those were grown ups who wore doll clothes... even then I said "dress up?" She said it wasn't that kind of place!

Rather Not Say

A friend told me all about humping when I was 8 or 9. It involved two people taking their pants off of course. Then one would lay down and the other one would jump on top of that person. To demonstrate he planned to jump from the handicap bathroom stall bar, which was about 3 off of the ground. He landed hard on me with all of his body weight. I decided that humping wasn't such a great thing that day.

Lee

I was 8 or so and had a lot of books about cats. One of them had a section on breeding cats, with an illustration of two cats mating and a caption like, "the male introduces the penis into the female's vagina", or something along those lines. I said to my mom, "That's what cats do, but what do people do?" She told me that people did the same thing, but seemed reluctant to explain further. I was completely baffled, because I couldn't imagine any situation when a man would insert his penis into a woman's vagina. I figured maybe it could happen by accident, like if they were walking and accidentally bumped into each other at a certain angle, it would be like, "Whoops, my penis accidentally entered your vagina, sorry!"

andrea

Once, in the little Church daycare center while my parents were at church when I was 7 or so and I was about to have my first communion, my friend whispered to me that she found out what sex was. I excitedly asked her and she told me you had sex by "a girl and boy licking eachother's elbows" and this is why it is physically impossible to lick your own elbow unless you're a fairy. She told me she learned this in a book in her house.

I believer her till I was 11.

kylie

when i was 3 or 4 my mom was tucking me into bed, and i looked up at her and proudly said "mommy, i know what sex is" which freaked her out, she braced herself and asked me what did i think sex was. i said, "do you know who peppy la pew is?" she said yea? and i said. "you know when he kisses the cat and floats up into the air with hearts all around him, thats sex" she was very releved. :)

Christina

When I was very young I didn't realize girls had a hole between their legs. I just thought they had no penis, with a hairy spot. I told my cousin how embarassed I would be if I had an errection while trying to have sex. which to me was the act of rubbing the flacid penis on a girls hairy spot.

ME

when i was little, my parents would openly talk about sex being where babies come from with me, but they never explained exactly how it was done other than being naked. well, after walking into their room one night and noticing they always had the TV on, i assumed that was part of sex. so i invited the boy next door over and asked him if he wanted to have sex. then we proceeded to go to my parents room, take off our clothes and watch bugs bunny together. later i found out that he nearly gave his mom a heart attack when he went home and announced that he was a "man" now because he had had sex!

Anon

When I was younger I heard the term "missionary position" on a television show. I was curious so I asked someone, I do not remember who, but I know it was an adult, and was told that it was a man lying on top of a woman during sexual intercourse. Unfortunately I did not dissociate the term "missionary" from sex and I thought that it was a man lying on top of a woman during sex, who was dressed like a nun. I don't remember but I amy have also thought that it could only be done in a foreign country.

michael

Being a nosy little sister, I hovered by my big sis’s bedroom door when I thought she was getting into trouble. When I over heard my mom talking to her about sex, she referred to it as the “birds and bees”. I thought she said birdbee. Later that summer we went to Florida for a family reunion and my mom said, “Wow you guys! Look at that. A humming bird.” Then I started to laugh and say, “Mom, gross! I don’t think we should talk about sex.” I looked at everyone and saw looks of amusement and others horror. My Disney experience forever has been tainted.

Naughty Tinker

when i was in school there was this guy called Gary, in class one day the boys were talking about their girlfriends & the subject of orgasms was raised, Gary proudly said that his mother had "got one for x-mas & you should hear the tunes she can play on it", we think he ment electronic organ, i hope..!

Anon

When i was 5 years old, i had a 15 year old brother and he was always trying to teach me innappropriate things. Once he said something about sex, but i got the wrong idea and i thought sex was a food.

One day, my mom asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

I said, "I want sex!"

Lecia

When I was about 9 my I over heard my parents talking about sex and I asked them and they started going through the birds and the bees talk, and for awhile I thought birds and bees had sex together, and always wondered what the babies were going to look like.

Tiffany

Almost as far back as I can remember, I knew what sex was. I'm not even sure how I learned about it, or when. But despite how young I was when this knowledge was imparted upon me, up until my mid teens, I STILL believed that my parents were 'talking' when they locked everyone out of their bedroom. I seriously couldn't understand why my father would get so angry when I distrubed them! I suppose I was in denial, and was refusing to consider the possiblity that my parents of all people would do such a thing. Never mind that they had three children, so they must have done it at some point...

Angela