random beliefs

When I was about 5 a friend of mine told me that the tufted grass that you see on roadside embankments was the hair of dead people that had been buried in the hillside.

Anon (from death : people)

I always thought that when you were ready to get married, you would go to a huge warehouse of people and walk around until you found the one you liked.

John (from grown-ups : marriage)

Everyone in my family wears glasses, and they love to read. So, when I was little, I used to believe glasses allowed to read. I always wanted to go to the optic in hopes of getting mine.

Anon (from language : reading)

I used to believe that if you stood on a toadstool, that it would turn into a dragon and eat you. Countryside walks became lightfooted journeys of pure fear thanks to the twisted lies of my dad.

izb (from nature : plants)

When I was younger, I would look at the papers on my Dad's desk. When I saw the contributions to his IRA (Individual Retirement Account), I thought he was giving money to the Irish Republican Army.

Anon (from grown-ups : work)

i used to believe that if you farted out of your mouth, you'd die.

John Deere (from body functions : farting)

Olivia Newton John did sing let me hear your budgie talk! didn't she

J Scull (from music : misheard lyrics)

When I was young I refused to drink well water because I thought it came out of whales.

itodd (from language : speaking)

Originally I thought that God lived on top of the clouds. The Care Bears changed that! They lived on top of the clouds so, God must live in space among the stars or on the moon.

Anon (from religion : characters)

My nephew (age 7) thought tampons were plugs for diarrhea.

Anon (from body functions : being ill)