i used to believe - the childhood beliefs site
I Used To Believe is a funny and bizarre collection of ideas that adults thought were true when they were children. It will remind you what it was like to be a child, fascinated and horrified by the world in equal parts. The following pages will reassure you that the things you used to believe weren't so strange after all...
Some areas of this site contain content which is not suitable for children.
When I was five or six, I drew on a globe and a teacher snapped, "You must not draw on school property!!".
So I thought that drawing wasn't allowed on school premises.
My teacher held out a hand to say, "stop" but I thought she wanted a high-five.
I used to believe Monty Hall was a place instead of a man. Let's Make A Deal was before my time and I only knew Monty's name from the Monty Hall problem. I thought "Monty Hall" was the building where the game show took place.
Everybody described the conscience as a "little voice in your head", so I thought that *all* thoughts were from the conscience-- essentially, I mixed the conscience up with the internal monologue.
I had (and still have) a lot of random thoughts, and when I was a kid, I was often told that I was very well-mannered for my age, so I thought that because I was so polite, my conscience was "bored" and just said random stuff.
I thought you could get toffee from mixing tea and coffee.
When I was five, I was such a ditz that when I cried, I thought that the world really did become distorted (like how it looks through tears).
My mother has this friend whose last name is Stalker, so when I heard people talking about stalkers, I thought they meant my mom's friend and people related to her.
When I was little, my grandmother had a weather house. It had two doors. There was a woman in one door and a man in the other. The woman would come out if it was going to be sunny, and the man would come out with his umbrella if it was going to rain. I thought the man made it rain. I slapped him and broke the weather house, screaming "I hate you. Every time you come out it rains!"
When I first heard the word "lumberjack", I thought it was "Numberjack" like the TV show The Numberjacks. When I was corrected, I thought a lumberjack was a dude named Jack who lumbered around.
There was this one area of the local pool that I thought was called the "Disney Area". Why? Because I thought it looked like Mickey Mouse's head.
When I was about twelve or thirteen, my mother was reading me The Odyssey, and at one point, Queen Penelope has these men who want to marry her because they think Odysseus is dead, and they say, "We'll draw lots". I didn't know what that meant, so I thought it meant they'd draw (as in sketch) a lot of Odysseuses.
I used to believe that a 'wolverine' was the girl version of a wolf.
When we first got our cat, he was a claw and tooth ninja. I was also seven years old and going through the "pants are unnecessary" phase. So my mum tried to get me to wear pants by calling them "cat protectors", but I was worried that they'd make him run away.
I used to believe that if you swallowed gum, it would stay in your stomach for many years and you could not poo because it would block your poo hole. I used to be scared that i would accidentally swallow the gum every time i was given any
When I was about eight or nine, my grandfather took me to a marina. The sea was so flat that I didn't think it could possibly be water and wanted to walk on it to check. When Grandpa said no, I thought that you had to be older to legally check if something was water or not.
I thought dogs only peed on people in America! The reason for this is because there's a Garfield movie where they are visiting somewhere (I think Britain) and Odie plans to pee on somebody, but Garfield says, "Don't do the ugly American thing!".
I thought "Orange is the New Black" was about wearing orange to funerals.
I thought Bonnie and Clyde were fictional characters.
I thought opium was an element.
Up until I was like 7 or 8, I thought the lyrics to the song "Last Christmas" were, "Last Christmas, I gave you my harp..."