When I was younger, I noticed how the dead animals on the highways were always at the SIDES rather thatn in the middle so I asked my mom, "How come people swerve to the side of the roads just to kill the animals???!!!"

Elizabeth

When people talked about putting cats and dogs to sleep, I thought it meant literally that-- that they'd somehow put them into a permanent state of suspended animation where they'd sleep forever. That seemed to me like a horrible thing to do. What if they had a nightmare and couldn't wake up from it? I was actually quite relieved when I finally found out it was really a euphemism for killing them.

Anthea

I used to REALLY believe that all dogs went to heaven. So, in that case, it meant all cats went to hell. I always cried for my aunts cats at night for their soon to come eternal damnation... I was an odd child...

Robyn

When I was a toddler, my mother had a pet goldfish named "Ronnie." The poor fish met its demise when I poured dishsoap in its bowl, "trying to help Ronnie blow bubbles."

Maeghan Jade

When I was little, we had a dog who was born one day before I was. When I was nine, he died, and I thought I'd be next.

CappysSister

I used to believe that the way you knew when people were dead was when their toungue was sticking out.

Geneva

I used to think think that meat was taken from animals like an operation and they recovered afterwards. i was horrified when i discovered the truth and I'm now a vegetarian!

Megan

When I was 9 my cat called coco died of cancer. My parents told me that cancer was a angel that came and took her away because they wanted her in heaven because they liked he so much. then my next cat called honey got knocked down when she was 2. and my parents said to me that god killed her because he wanted her for his pet. So I went outside on to the street and yelled "SHES MY CAT NOT YOURS YOU DUMB GOD" i have been having bad luck ever since!!!

Heather May

when i was 3 or 4, my dog died and my dad told me but i didn't know what it meant. about a week later, my mom was dying her hair. till i was five i thought my dog was transfered to a higher class beauty salon in Australia.

elvis's future wife

The nature of bats intrigued me so much: "How could an animal that is not a bird fly?" Until the day I realized that when mice died they became bats.

Júlio De Marco

When I was small, my Dad told us many stories about his childhood. He had lived near a big forest, so the stories usually involved woodland animals. One of them involved a blackbird flying into the kitchen window (i.e. it hit the window and bounced off), and my Grandpa reviving it with brandy.

Fast forward to the day I was about 11, and a pigeon flew into my bedroom window and knocked itself out. Remembering the brandy story I ran to the drinks cabinet - unfortunately there was no brandy, but there was some vodka, so I force-fed the pigeon quite a lot of that.

It did not wake up.

(Other stories involved newt royalty and a squirrell getting a firework up the arse. It wasn't until adulthood I realised they were mostly made-up.)

Lady M

My Dad always told me the dead animals by the road were just taking a nap.

Also, once there was a dead cat in the canal behind our house and he told me it was bobbing for fish.

Ginger

When I was younger, my chicken got hit by the UPS truck. After that, I thought the UPS peoples' job was to go hit animals and then drive them off to a cemetary

Anon

when i was about four or five, i got a goldfish as a pet. and i loved it. like, completely smitten. i planned to teach it tricks. i had had it for about two days when i went to go look in the goldfish bowl. to my sheer delight, the fish was standing upright in the bowl. looking back, i suppose it was dead but swaying with the motion of the water? i was thrilled and ran around my house yelling with excitement because i had taught my goldfish how to walk! as you might expect, my parents had to flush him down the toilet.

Anon

When I was a kid, and for a long time, I believed that if you put a dead fish back in the water, it would just ressuscitate, and swim away..

Jerome

When I was fourteen, my parents tried to tell me that my year old pet lamb and it's two older friends had 'gone to live on another farm'. This was a day or two before the freezer was restocked with lamb chops and mutton. They must have felt very guilty.

Anon

I have two male cousins who told me that when they were little they had a gold fish. They really enjoyed drinking coca cola and thought their fish would probably like it too. They poured some in the bowl and the fish swam around in circles at top speed for 45 minutes before it finally died.

Caff-ine

I used to believe that Squirrels that were dead on the road had fallen from trees above. I would say "Look mom! The poor Squirrel missed his branch!"

fergie

When I was little i had a pet caterpiller that lived in a jar and my mother wouldn't let me take it inside the house. I live in Canada so when winter came it was COLD and i was afraid the caterpillar would freeze to death.

At this point I came up with the brilliant idea of "why don't i just put him in the microwave?" After doing so I was petrified to see my first ever pet burst into flames.

Julie

In first grade the teacher told us that "Curiosity killed the cat." When I got home I asked my older sisters what "curiosity" meant. Much laughter and no answer. So I decided that curiosity was a cat that went to sleep under the hood of a car and got mangled in the fan belt.

S. Dickes