When I was in 1st grade I heard the word "Viagra" for the first time. Later that day, my dad was talking about what must have been a heart surgery. I made a connection between the two and decided that a Viagra was a surgery that every man had to get when he turned 50. This surgery involved going into his belly and removing the Viagra vein. Every man had to get this or else he would die.

Shortly after, a boy at school was making fun of me for being a girl. Triumphantly, I told him, "At least I don't have to get a Viagra!" Confused, he asked me to explain. When I told him about the Viagra every boy has to get when he's 50 or else he'll die, he was horrified. He ran to tell his friends and soon most of the boys I knew were buzzing with fear at the idea of some day having to get a Viagra.

Still makes me giggle!

Alou D.

I used to believe that if the queen died we would all die too. I think it had somthing to do with bees.

Darrell

When we were quite smallmy sister and i would avoid the dining room. We thought since there was a "living" room that the dining room was the "dying" room". We thought people went in there to die. We were weird kids.

Miss Chockie

I lived in a northern town in British Columbia where our family of 5 children used to run wild all day just coming in for meals. I was about 3/4 years old and came across the neighbour's cat lying in a field blown apart by a shotgun. I went home and told my mother and she said that Mr. McGregor (yes he really was called that!) had shot the cat because he was sick. About a week later I was in bed with a high fever. My mother was stroking my forehead, saying, "Poor Sandy, Sandy's sick". I immediately asked if my dad "was gonna shot me?"

Sandy

I used to believe that when you died your coffin was taken up to heaven by a helicopter. I remember wanting to be buried in the cupboard in my old school room, because the doors didn't quite shut properly and I would be able to take advantage of the great views.

Jo

I used to think that funeral homes fulfilled the same function as nursing homes, only they has a much less euphemistic name.

zusty

I was five when my grandmother died. My mom told me she would be cremated. I asked what that meant. She told me they would put her in an oven until she was burned to dust. I was horrified by the image of how they would have to chop her up in order to fit her body into a kitchen oven.

Ed

When I was 5 and my brother was 4, a close family friend died. My brother thought that she would come back to life in 3 days. We were raised Catholic and he thought that the Jesus story applied to everyone who died.

Heather

I didn't understand why the British national anthem was called "God Save The Queen" - so I asked my brother what the Queen needed to be saved from and he said that she was being chased by swarms of bees that lived in Buckingham Palace. That sounded plausible to me at the time...

Anon

I used to believe that the purpose of a "wake" when someone died was one last attempt at trying to wake them up from the deep sleep that they were in. It confused me because at my grandfather's wake everyone spoke quietly, how would talking quietly wake them up? I just figured that he was a light sleeper, then again I was wrong!

He's Only Sleeping

My dad died when I was 7 and was cremated. I didnt go to the funeral, but found out that cremated meant burnt, I thought they built a big bonfire and flung the body on. The worse thing, it wasnt until I was about 18 that I found out that it didnt happen like that !!

Anon

When I was little I used to believe that a suicide was when someone died by falling into a sewer. For a long time I remember looking through the holes in the mancovers to make sure there were no dead bodies.

Shelby

when i saw R.I.P. on a tombstone I thought that was how they died

Brandon

I used to believe that when people died, they turned into stones. The reason for this is because I saw at the graveyards, people had their gravestones on their graves... sad but true.

Laura

When I was six, I was in Catholic school. One day, shortly after lunch, the Principal, Sister Evangelista came to our door. She whispered something into my teacher, Sister Jeanette's ear. Sister Jeanette fained dead away. Several of us children helped Sr. Evangelista get her up. Sr. Evangelista then told us in hushed tones that President Kennedy had been shot, and we were to proceed quietly to the church, where we would all pray for the President. Orderly we filed to the church, and our little prayers began. I remember thinking "if he's been shot, he's dead already" so I quit praying and let my mind wander. Eventually I started making faces at the boy next to me and we were reprimanded sharply by our Sister. Sister hissed to us that if "President Kennedy dies, it will be your faults!" Well of course, you know the story. For many months, I thought it WAS our fault, since we failed to pray hard enough to save him.

Kevin Graves

I used to believe that manhole covers were grave stones for all the little children that didn't look both ways before crossing the street.

Sherry Scheuerman

For some strange reason once when I got a cut, I was afraid that if I showered and the water touched my blood, I would die. I asked my mom about this, but she didn't seem to understand, so I drew a diagragm.

Alex

Whenever I was bad, my mom would ask, "Do you want a spanking?!" I thought a "spanking" was when she and I would wear ninja suits and have a swordfight to the death. Since I didn't want to die that way, I always said no.

The_Journalsit

i used to think that you wouldn't die until you had been EVERYWHERE in the world...so i used to always say to myself that i just wouldn't take that last step....otherwise i would drop dead

Little Miss Traveler

As a child, my grandmother used to talk to me about life. One day, as I sat on her knees, she caressed my face and told me that she, too, would someday be leaving us to go to Heaven. Thinking I could fix this, and that I could at least save my mother, I went to her and said that I wouldn't have kids! When she asked why, I answered that this way she couldn't die... that only grandparents died.

Janie (Angel)