I am the second child in my family, coming after my sister Liz. When I was 3 or 4 years old, I used to think that every family has a Mom, a Dad, a Liz, and another guy, which in my family happened to be me.

Mike

At one time when my brother and I were misbehaving and getting on our parents' nerves, my father said "Oh, do what you want."

We thought he meant it - so of course we got in even more trouble.

Anon

my friend from preschool, told me about her twin sister (they were both black) and asked me if i had a twin.. naturally, being the competitive one that i was, i said yes and told her that they had dark skin like hers and long black hair in cornrows like hers.. soon i realized, that i wasnt black.

m0rrin muireann

When i was a child my Grandfather had me convinced he was a girl before he was a boy! And that if i didnt behave he would make me change into a little boy as well!

jj

a frequent fantasy, until about age 6,
was that my parents were aliens and wearing very detailed human suits. On some given day, they were going to "unzip" their disguises and reveal their true appearance. This may have been fed by the old TV series Mission Impossible with Martin Landau pulling off ocmplex masks.

ChazStillAKid

I used to believe my Dad when he said he could lift a house with his hands, but he couldn't show me cos he'd break the furniture inside. I used to tell all my friends how strong he was!

Anon

I used to beleive that my parents had magical powers. Every time they kissed a boo-boo, it went away. Every time I asked a question they knew exactly the right answer. Even realizing that it wasn't magic, just wisdom, I was scared to death when I got pregnant at 18. I told my mom that I didn't have the "magic" of parenting and that I would be a failure. She of course had no idea what I was talking about. (I got the magic a few months later)

A.D.

When I was around five or six, I once asked my parents that if I hadn't been born into their family would I have been born into somebody else's. It took a while for my dad to stop laughing ...

Anon

When I was about 6 or 7, I noticed that George Washington wore breeches and Abraham Lincoln wore trousers. Therefore, I concluded that my father, who wore trousers, must have been a contemporary of Lincoln.

Nicholas Dollak

My brother and I have convinced all of our kids at one point or another that (if they continue to be bad) we will ship them off to join their evil twins in Pago Pago who were SOOOOO BAD that we sent them off at birth.

My wife and I have also convinced our 2 year old that the monster will get her if she doesn't lie down and get her diaper changed! (not sure how she will turn out as an adult now but what the heck)

CoeMah

When I was a child, my parents and neighbors said to me, "You were picked up from under the bridge". Because my face doesn't look like my parents. But my sisters and my brothers look like my parents. So I was sad and I cried.
I knew when I grew up that. The bridge means my mother's legs. They were just joking with me.

Namhee

My mother used to tell me that I was adopted from a band of gypsies. Where she came up with this or why I believed this for the first 12 years of my life I'll never know. But I can remember telling all my friends at school and loving it.

PeanutLouLou

at 3 , I used to believe that you could decide if you would rather be a mom , grandma , dad , uncle , aunt, etc. etc. and I always insisted on being a mom , my grandma just couldn't understand what I was trying to tell her.

Anon

When i was younger my grandfather was my world and i beleived he was always right. I was at the age where i was learning colours and my papa told me that black was white and white was black. My mom tried to correct me but being the tender age of three i believe that noone with gray hair could lie. Till this day i still think i mix them up sometimes

shannon

When I was very small I thought my parents were aliens, and when I went to school they would come out of their human skin.

Cassandra

At Christmas, we would always have big family get togethers. I remember when I was about 4 years old, listening to my Mother making plans for 'Boxing Day' and having visions of my Dad and my Uncle John squaring up in the ring...

Steve Creek

This is probably a case of paranoia. When I lived with my very religious aunt & uncle in Blaine, WA USA, during my senior year -I was 17- I believed that they were monitoring my drug & alcohol use (I was doing that stuff very rarely). One way was by having some sort of device built into the toilet plumbing that would take a sample of my urine and send a signal to their bedroom and tell them if I was on anything (maybe even monitor pregnancy!). ...paranoia?
Another way was by collecting hair samples from my brush and the floor, and sending it to a lab. They were pretty wealthy, so they could afford that sort of thing!! (They shoulda been more worried about their own teens.)

(alcoholics) ANONYMOUS