I was terrified of the idea of having children because I was under the impression that you literally had to teach them everything the way a teacher teaches things. Like you 'd have to sit them down and teach them every single word in the dictionary. I thought it would take years and years to do this. It wasn't until I expressed this fear to my mother that she calmed me down explained that children learn language simply by hearing it and being spoken to. This was a big relief.

Carly

I used to believe that the term "being grounded" actually meant that your parents would dig a hole/ underground house in your backyard and make you live underground for a week.

Karisma

When I was a toddler my Dad was trying to explain to me what evolution was...he told me 'We used to all be monkeys'...from that moment on I believed that my whole family and I had once lived as gorillas in the jungle, and couldnt imagine how I didnt remember that part of my life!!

Lozzy

When I was around 5 years old my older sister(about 9) told me I was found in a dumpster in Albuquerque. She then said that Albuquerque was in hell and that mom and dad only took me out of the dumpster so she would have someone to take care of her and clean her messes, and that it was a good way to punish a deamon.

I believed her and did whatever she wanted me to for about three weeks until one day when she had me eat dirt in our back yard. When my mother
found out she corrected me by saying 'if anything your sister is a deamon and you are an angel' Well, I sure took that one wrong. I though I was a real angel untill I was 7 and that my sister was the one who was found in a trashcan in hell.

Good sister Bad sister

When I was really little my sister told me I was adopted, that my parents weren't really my parents. So I would call them by their real name instead of Mom and Dad. As much as they tried to tell me I wasn't I still believed my sister.

Giselle

I had a single mum and she never had a boyfriend when i was younger. and since her wardrobe and chest of drawers were the only places i never went in i figured out that must be where she kept my dad. unconnectedly she had won a bottle of whisky and not drinking the stuff she put it in a box under her bed where i wouldn't find it and drink it (yeah i was the kind of child that didn't think before eating/drinking things. such as the bottle of calpol mum left in the fridge) so i told everyone that mum knew that she kept men in the cupboards and whisky under her bed but to not tell anyone since it was a secret and mum was mortified.

Anon

I used to think, until I was about 11, that when my parents told me to go to bed, they were trying to get me out of the way so they could invite their friends over and have a big party. I based this on the fact that I always heard the clink of dishes downstairs when I listened. A few times I actually went downand saw them putting away the dishes, but I thought that was all part of the plot to hide it from me. I felt so glad when I "figured it out"!!

lucy

When I was young I asked my uncle ( actually just a mate of my dad, but I didn't know that then ) why he was bald. He told me it was because he drove a converitble. ( he had a red MG ). I don't remember how old I was when I was told this, but I was in my mid twenties when I found out it was TOTAL CRAP ! ! ! Sooooo embarrased.

Peter

When I was little my father would tell my sister and me that if a boy kisses you your nose would fall off. I learned he was lying when a oy kissed me on the chhek

saphire

My father used to tell me he had rubber legs. I was at least 10 at the time and knew it couldn't be true, but because I regarded him as an absolutely reliable fount of all knowledge, and because he stuck religiously to the story (and was completely deadpan), I was never quite sure!

Niall

until i was about 3, i called my mom "shirt". when she taught me the word shirt, she pointed to her shirt, but i thought she was pointing to herself.. *sigh*

roy

When I was five I thought I had my family all figured out. My parents had the same last name because they were grown-ups, my brothers had a different last name because they were boys, and my sisterand I had a different last name because we were girls!!! Come to find out my mom was married three times. :)

Lucy, CA

I used to secretly believe my Dad was Elvis living a secret life with my Mom and me under an alias. The way he curled his lip and sang was so convincing and it would always make my Mom swoon.

Ginger

When I was around six my sisters and brother would always say I was by the milkman, because I was the youngest and had different color hair. I cried and ran to my mom who assured me I was not by the milkman. Still not quite sure I went on believing. Well I am now 21 and just now remembering that particular incident just feeling like an idiot. WE NEVER HAD A MILKMAN!

Anon

When I was 3 or 4, I thought the man on the box of Quaker Oats products was my grandma. For some reason I can't entirely comprehend, they looked alike to me back then.

mollyann

When I was younger, my dad used to play at a football ground with his mates. I was really naughty so she told me to watch out for him on tv and keep quiet. I watched a 90 minute match looking out for him, but then I realised that it was the women's football championships!

Anon

When I was a kid my great grandmother died. My mum was pretty close to her so this loss upset her for quite awhile. I didn't like seeing her cry about it so being the resourceful 4 year old I was I figured out how to cheer her up. I said "Hey don't worry mum, when I grow up i'll just built you a robot grandma!"

It seemed to be a very obvious solution to the problem at the time.

Robot Engineer

i used to believe that everyone had a twin on the other side of the world.

tahnee

I have a long line of ancestors in my family tree named Buckingham, and when I was in grade school I thought I must be related to the Queen of England - Buckingham Palace and all that. I used to think I was very special because of this and went around telling all my schoolmates that I was royalty and that Queen Elizabeth II was my aunt.

Anon

This is actually about my brother and not myself. When he was about three or four, my family had just moved into a new house. The town being as small as it was, the local pastor came to welcome my family to the neighborhood.
Now, my family liked to have company over, mainly uncles and aunts. When my brother was little, he must have mistaken all his uncles for more "dads" since they were there so often. It was shortly after New Years that they had moved in, and they let my brother sip a little champagne.
Anyway, upon the pastor's arrival, my brother ran to him and greeted him immediately by announcing, "I drink booze with my dads! I have LOTS of dads!" One of our family's finest moments, I think.

Katie