Having to emigrate to an English-speaking country at the tender age of 12 with English that I learnt by rote in school, I spoke an alien kind of English, with text-book big words wrapped in an unfortunate grammar and an even more unfortunate accent.

Needless to say I was much parodied in school. But one thing I don't quite get was why my classmates insisted I say 'orgasm' when I said 'organism' in science class. I insisted that they are missing a syllable, while the nastier ones insisted that that was the way it's spoken. Fortunately I have never wavered in my belief - being the bookworm that I am, I found out what's what from a dictionary. I always played dumb though to wind them up!

holding my own

My mother's godson was unable to say pacifier when he was little. Instead, he would just scream, "Fire" when the pacifier fell out of the crib.

mistaken1

When I was young, I went to go see the movie 'Titanic' with my mother. Good idea for a family movie, right? I specifically remember the scene when Jack is showing Rose his sketch book, and the drawings of the one-legged prostitute. I thought 'prostitute' was a fancy word for politician. I thought that she probably wasn’t a very good one if she kept on being naked all the time. The sad thing is, I kept on thinking prostitute=politician until I was a teenager. Of course, now that I'm older I know it’s the other way around.

Anon

When I first heard the phrase "survival of the fittest," (probably around age 7 or 8) I had no idea what the word "fittest" meant and believed that people really meant "fattest"! ^_^

Vivienne

When I went to Disney World when I was four ,I really thought Epcot was pronounced Cobweb, and I'll never forget how embarassed I was after jumping on the bed telling my parents how excited I was to go to Cobweb today.

Julianne

When I was about 9, I had a 2 year old baby sister and a few months old baby brother. Sometimes, I would play with them and then they gurgle and mumble stuff and look at each other. I used to think they were communicating in some secret baby organization language, and it made the most sense to me. I asked myself: "How come I don't remember those times when I was a baby?".
Then I came to the conclusion that they had a secret Baby organization in some base and that they were members of it. I thought that when members got too old, they erase any memory of the organization.
From then on, I started interrogating my baby sister and brother whenever my parents would leave them alone with me.

Alley

When I was about 8 years old, I overheard my family talking about the increase in numbers of Lebanese immigrating to South Africa. Somewhere along the line I also hear the word Lesbian.

Not knowing the meaning of either word, I told classmates at school that one of my older brother's friends (a man) was a Lesbian. Got into real trouble at home when the school queried my conversation.

Cynthia

I used to think terrorist and tourist were the same thing, I live in Florida, and everybody always complains about them....

Boo

When I was young, my mother would always say things were "as slow as a wet week". I realise now that this is a figure of speech referring to the way that things can seem really slow or boring during rainy weather.

I used to believe that there were these soggy, spongy creatures called "wet weaks", and I figured they must slop around everywhere incredibly slowly.

Claire

my former colleague, david neilsen, used to belive that there was a nomadic dwelling - perhaps like a yurt - called a "purpose". he inferred this from a figure of speach which he took to mean "what i'm about to say is so obvious it's known by all nomads". the idiom in question was "to all in tents and purposes...."

stuart Swanston

In my neighborhood growing up, all the older people were refugees and they all had thick accents. I thought that when people got "old", they began to speak with accents.

Rod

When i was about 6 or 7 my brother (older) told me that VD stood for verbal Diarrhea, meaning that any one who spoke al lot and spoke fast ad Verbal diarrhea.
Once,during my aunt's funeral ( She was quite talkative and also spoke very fast) i over heard some of my relatives discussing her death. Eager to but in i remeber vividly saying "Yeah, i think she had VD. don't you ?" my mom was sipping a drink and nearly the entire contents came out through her nose.

hmmmm

when i was little, my big sister convinced me that she had invented and patented the word "wow" and that i was not allowed to say it.

brooke

I used to believe that everyone was given a certain number of words to say in their life and if they used them all up to quickly they wouldn't be able to talk when they were older

Maya

When I was younger, I knew nothing about accents and thought that when someone talked with one, they had gotten into a car accident. One day when my mom's friend who had an accent came over, I said to her "I'm sorry about your accident, but I like your voice!"

Allison

I used to think that the expression "The former or the latter?" was actually "The farmer or the ladder?"

Fitzwilliam

When I was young I always used to get the words "prodigy" and "prostitute" mixed up. And my older brother, after a piano lesson wanted to show off too me and out parents. When he was done, we all clapped and I blurted out " Well arent you just a child prostitute!"

Anon

Somewhere along the line, my younger sister got it in her head that "kinky" meant "fun". She told my grandmother she liked the spiral slide at the playground because it was "kinky".

Bonnie's sister

I used to believe that when someone on a swing was "going crooked" they were "going cricket." I spent several years telling my friends they were "going cricket" on the swings before coming to the realization that I was using the wrong word.

Tiffany

i used to think that the word 'clothes' was the plural for 'clo.' so i'd call a sock or a shirt a clo.

jessimocha