Show most recent or highest rated first.
page 3 of 32
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 >
I used to believe that every time I said a bad word, tiny invisible elves would walk over and pinch me really hard.
My mother told us that "mousketeer" and "kimosabe" were bad words. This was after we'd driven her nuts recreating scenes from "The Lone Ranger" and "Mickey Mouse Club." We believed her. I can only imagine how ridiculous we looked calling someone a "Mousketeer" in total anger.
MS
At the age of about five, I was in the car with my parents, when someone cut us off. My father called the other motorist an asshole. I asked why the guy was a "donkey hole" and got in trouble.
Later that year, I said "son of a bitch" because I heard my cousin say it...and got in trouble. Since a literal son of a bitch would be a puppy, I was afraid to mention puppies around adults for months.
Qit
I used to think that flipping someone the bird was called "f*cking them off." Additionally, someone once told me that "reller" was a euphemism for "sh*t," and I believed it.
Qit
when i was about 3yrs old (im gonna be 8 this yr) my uncle mark (hes 25 now) taught me how to do a swear word without saying any words all you had to do was 2 things sticking your little finger up means chienese swearing and the middle finger is English swearing.! my mum is 26
dionne
I was in primary school but hanging out with the 'older' girls... my little sister came over to me and asked me to play a skipping game with her and I told her to 'F*ck off'. I'd never even used those words before and had no idea where they had come from! But the older girls were saying it... My sister's eyes filled with tears and she walked away but ended up falling over and cut her knee. I felt instantly remorseful and felt like it was all my fault she got hurt. So I swore (pardon the pun) I'd never swear again. I now believe it's biologically impossible for me to swear!
dippingmytoes
When I was younger, I used to believe that if I though bad things, like curse words, that my dad would be able to read my mind and I would get in trouble. Silly, yeh?
To all the psychic fathers out there....
when my brother was little before I was even born, my uncle would after giving him instructions say kapiece (sp?) and my brother would respond, "go piss?" so when my dad said kapiece to him my brother said "go piss?" and looked at my cousins like they were to blame
Marah
I heard this joke when I was younger and the last line of it said "And my mom's f*cking the turkey" So (being very young) I thought that the mother was standing in my gramma's kitchen flipping the turkey off and cussing at it.
Venti V.
This wasn't mine, but a friend's:
When my mother asked if I had done something and I answered, "Yes, Mom, I swear," he said, "Oo-oo-ooh!" I asked why, and he said, "Swearing is cursing!"
C.C.
When I was roughly four I used to hear swear words and repeat them. In order to stop me embarrassing her in public places my mother told me the word 'bungalow' was a swear word. I believed this until I was eleven and got very confused when people talked about one-storey houses.
I used to think that when you swore, a beep would come out because the government was watching and they would cover it up just like on TV lol
when i was little i heard on a TV show someone say someone was a whore my whole family was there and i was confused and they wouldn't tell me what it was i then began to believe it was a another shorter word for horse (i know weird) and one day in the middle of the street i called my mum a whore because she wouldn't buy me any ice cream she was absolutely horrified i was 5 at the time :P
anon
When I was in elementary school, my grandmother told me that if I showed my middle finger to anyone it means that I hated God. So one day I saw a kid on the bus hold up his middle finger. I said to my friend, "he hates God." She was confused.
Tiffy
When i was about 5 or 6 years old, i just came home from school and someone was talking to my mum. My um said something funny and the person said "f****ing hell" and he was laughing and i thought it meant something was funny so when my sister told me a joke i said "F***ing H*ll" and well, i actually shouted it and my mum heard me...poor me.
Never Swear When a Child Can Hear!
I said "Cheeses!" in front of nuns n they askd me to repeat the word so I repeat it and said its Cheeses as in the cheese we eat.
After a few years I came to realize that it was really Jesus! instead of Cheeses!.
Celine Clare M.
I'm thinking I was 3 or 4, maybe 5 at the outmost, but I thought the word "fart" refered to something that looked like a purple kangaroo. I knew about passing gas, but just didn't know that that's what the word "fart" meant.
purple kangaroo
When i was v.little around 3 or 4 our house was being refurbished and the builders were putting new locks on the doors....well anyway i was running around looking at the what the builders were doing and i noticed a V.BAD word the builders wrote on the locks of the door....BASTA was the manafacturer of the locks and was printed on them! Being such a naive child i thought it was basta** and couldnt understand how naughty the builders were and started callin them BASTA's right back! lol
Marisa P M
When I was younger, I was playing with a friend who wanted to tell me a secret. She asked me to swear that I wouldn't tell anyone. I replied that I wasn't allowed to swear.
when I was a little kid my mom would always say F--k I thought It sounded like truck so one day I had a huge fight with my friend so I said "Shut the truck up!" After a trip to the principal I had learned my lesson
Snarf
page 3 of 32
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 >
I Used To Believe™ © 2002 - 2010 Mat Connolley , web design and hosting by Iteracy. privacy policy
