When I was little, my grandparents used to read the Bible to me. There are a few times that it uses the A word. I got upset because I thought the Bible was cussing until my granny explained that it wasn't a bad word if you use it in context. A few days later, I was acting up, and my dad said he was going to bust my a... I flipped out and said, "Ooooom, you said a bad word. You didn't say it in context." Without missing a beat, Dad goes, "Well would it be in context if I said I'm gonna bust your donkey?" I laughed my head off.

keyboardplayer

when i was about 6 or 7 i heard someone say the word "f**k" and later on asked my mum what it meant. She told me it was another word for poo....which was a bad idea really considering the next day at school i informed my teacher "you've got f***ed on!" in my innocent childish way, after observing that a seagull had pooed on her....

sarah t

I used to believe that the term 'flat tyre' was a swear. My parents' car broke down one day in the middle of the street. Trying to be helpful, I poked my head between the front seats and suggested it might be a flat tyre. I got a slap from my mum. I thought at the time I'd said something I shouldn't have...

tb

I grew up in an extremely conservative Catholic family and when I was around five or so my older sister's boyfriend came over. I can't remember exactly why, but I got very angry at him and screamed "YOU STUPID DEMOCRAT!" I thought it was a bad name you called someone.

Anon

I used to think you had to get special permission from your parents to use curse words

zeitgeist

When i was about 7 i heard my older sister, Amy(12 at the time) accidently cut her toe on some glass, then mutter "bloody tourists". after asking her about it i learned from her that everything bad that happens is tourists faults (thanks Amy!). i soon was too saying "bloody tourists" whenever something bad happened. about a month after that my aunty and uncle came over from New Zealand to stay with us and my aunty jessie was setting the table when she accidently spilt gravy all over my food (i hate gravy). her face went deep red when i screamed at her and walked off to my room saying "bloody tourists".

teneille:)

I thought if you said a swear word the police would track you down and arrest you but if you said 'oh my goodness' after the swear word that it would take it back.

M

When I was about six, I always head people talking about the "F word." Since I didn't know the word in question, I assumed that they meant "fart." Now my teacher was very strict, and you got in big trouble for saying it. One day I was sent home with a letter, and upon seeing the envelope attached to my shirt, she asked "what did you do?" My reply? "I said the F word." My mother turned white and started to panic..until she opened the note, that is.

Emily

My parents were huge hypocrites growing up. We kids were told profusely not to swear and do other things they called "ungodly". However, we learned quite a few curse words from Dad. When my brother was a teenager, one day he remarked about something or other: "that sucks." Well, my parents got all over him for it, and I couldn't understand why. I had never heard the expression: "that sucks", and i thought my brother had been mumbling about socks. I thought my parents had misheard him, thinking he'd said the word "fuck", and i tried to stand up for him, telling my parents that he'd only been talking about his socks!

goofy little girl

My mother told us that "mousketeer" and "kimosabe" were bad words. This was after we'd driven her nuts recreating scenes from "The Lone Ranger" and "Mickey Mouse Club." We believed her. I can only imagine how ridiculous we looked calling someone a "Mousketeer" in total anger.

MS

Well it isn't really my belief but a couple of years ago me and my best friend were having a conversation, aware that my little sister was listening outside and would pick up anything we would say and apply it to her everyday language. My friend said the word 'f***' and from outside came a little gasp of disgust (hehe) and then i explained to my friend (loudly so my sister could hear that it was fine to say 'f***' because it was merely a ''naughtier'' term for sex.

Of course my sister isn't stupid (!) and she obviously knew that to tell someone to 'f*** off' was wrong. So a couple of days later my best friend and I were watching TV and down came my little sister who was going to go out with my mum. Now, my mum and my sister never get on when it comes to what type of shoes are appropriate to wear depending on where you're going and my little sister kept insisting she wanted to wear healed sandles.

My mum kept explaining to her until she eventually lost her temper with my sister and told her off.

My little sister looked over to me then back to mum and exclaimed 'well you can just sex off because i don't want to go out with you!'

I don't think i've ever laughed so hard in my life.

evie&beck

When my niece was young, she heard the word "c*nt" somewhere and asked her mother what it meant. Her mother told her that it was a very "naughty" word and she would have to wait until she was a grown-up to understand. Trouble was, my niece must have been in a stage in which she thought all of the "naughtiest" words meant "poop'. For shortly afterwards I heard her say, "I gotta hurry to the bathroom before I c*nt in my pants!"

Darryl

I was 9 years old and in a video store with my grandmother. A box for one of the Child's Play movies said something about Chuckie (the murderous doll) being "one mean S.O.B." I knew what S.O.B. stood for, but I asked my grandmother anyway to try to get her to say the word "bitch." She instead said it meant "son of a bad guy," so as not to use bad language in front of me, but for a while I thought my grandmother was an idiot.

Matt

I used to believe that sticking up your middle finger meant 'I hate you', something we weren't ever allowed to say in our house. So when I was feeling naughty, I would stick my middle finger up at dilapidated old houses from the backseat of the car as we drove by (and then feel horribly guilty).

Jen

Until the 12th grade, I used to think "fuck" was the ugliest word in the English language.

Then in English class, someone said "fuck". The teacher said "I heard the f-word". People said "what do you mean by f-word". And I said "the ugliest word in the English language".

And the teacher said "actually, it's NOT". I was surprised and asked what it was. She said "I'm not gonna say it, I'm not gonna define it, I'm just gonna spell it:

C-U-N-T

I had never heard it before. But you bet that when I got home, the first thing I did was look it up in the dictionary.

English was our second language, BTW.

Scandia

When my brother was little, he used to get his sounds mixed up (specifically "sma" and "fa"). On a visit with a Doctor, he decided to have a tantrum in the very busy waiting room. Mum gave him a stern talking to and the threat of a smack at which point he dramatically sheilded himself and, much to the horror of the other paitients (especially my mother), cried out "Don't fuck me, Mummy! Don't fuck me!"

Anon

When I was in a scout group, one of the scout leaders said "shit" accidentally, and I asked her what she'd said, so she covered by saying she'd said "seventy-two". We were having fun with this and going around saying "Oh, seventy-two!" like it was a bad word.

Athazagoraphobia

My mom said that everytime that I said a bad word,
my mouth will dirty up and onions will grow in it, and the only way to stop it was to wash my mouth out with soap. I believed that for 3 months.

gums

when i was 6 or 7 i had it thinking that the big "F" word was 'fatso'.

gaby r

I used to believe that grown ups never told dirty jokes or cursed. I thought only kids like I was did that. Then I found out in amazement that adults told dirty jokes as well.

Rosa of Final Fantasy