When I was four years old my big brother and sister taught me the horrible swear word 'flabbergasted' and delighted in my saying it over and over. Then they told me they were going to tell Mom that I had been swearing, but convinced me the best option would be for me to tell on myself. Which I did.

33 years later they still bring that one up.

George

I used to think that when you swore, a beep would come out because the government was watching and they would cover it up just like on TV lol

Anon

i used to believe when french people sweard they'd say pardon my english

nightmare

My mum, for some reason, once asked me what my favourite swear word was - I told her "fuck" because "it doesn't mean anything".

what, you want to do nothing tonight?

One time we were in the library at school in 5th grade and we got a dictionary and were looking for the word 'penis'. We knew what it meant, but just because we were immature little 5th graders, you know. So anyway, the librarian comes over and says, "What are you guys looking up?" We all exchanged faces of horror and then all 5 of us said 5 different words starting with 'P' at the same time. The librarian looked at us and without a word, turned to the page with the definition of penis.

xD

When I was in second grade, I was in a combination second/third grade class. Of course we idolized the third graders--they were the grownup kids, they were cool. One day at recess, they told us that if you stuck your middle finger up, you would promptly die and go to Hell. That didn't sound like a lot of fun.

When we were on vacation, I tripped and cut my middle finger. When my mom tried to get me to hold just that one up so she could put the band-aid on, I started screaming and crying and telling her I wanted to go to heaven.

Me

Once when I was 4, I misunderstood the word for shucking corn and went around the neighborhood yelling for my brothers to come home and f---the corn, much to my mother's embarassment.

Lelia

My friend once told me that the legendary F word was, in fact, funk. I thought this was the grandest joke, because at my home we had an encyclopedia called Funk and Wagnall's Encyclopedia. I would look at these books and laugh, and my mother thought I was quite mad. Only later did I realize that that N should have been a C. But I still snigger every time I see one of those encyclopedias.

Katie

I once told my younger sister a lie to stop her from swearing ..and she believed it!

Basically you were only allowed to swear once you had a swearing licence, and you were only allowed to apply for this once you had turned 16.

If you swore before then the swearing police would take you away!

Marcie from London, England

When my younger brother was about three years old or so, my grandparents found a rabbit and kept it in their backyard. My grandpa hated that rabbit. He never called it anything besides "son of a bitch." (Which is a bit odd, I think, considering that female dogs are bitches, not female rabbits.) So when, one day, that rabbit ran away, my grandpa proved what an influence he had on my younger brother. My little 3-year-old brother wandered around for the longest time, screaming at the top of his lungs, "Come back, you son of a bitch!" He thought that was the rabbit's name.

Anon

When my little brother was really little he already knew the expresion 'damn it', but he also knew he wasn't aloud to say it, only grownups could. The only time he ever said it was when something went wrong for our dad. Then my little brother would chant "Say damn it daddy! Say damn it daddy!"

Puck

At the age of about five, I was in the car with my parents, when someone cut us off. My father called the other motorist an asshole. I asked why the guy was a "donkey hole" and got in trouble.

Later that year, I said "son of a bitch" because I heard my cousin say it...and got in trouble. Since a literal son of a bitch would be a puppy, I was afraid to mention puppies around adults for months.

Qit

When I was young I used to think that the word bullshit was actually boo ship. I used to go around saying it and wonder why I wasn't getting into trouble...

Bert

When I started teaching second grade, I was dismayed when a student told on another student for swearing. Apparently he had used the "S word" and even the "S-H word" in front of her. I thought, "What is this country coming to, that 7 year olds use these words?" Later I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the "S word" is Stupid, and the "S-H" word is Shut Up. I love that they think these are terrible words!

Anon

I didn't realize that the word my grandmother used when referring to my "girl parts" was truly a dirty word. I thought it was a word she made up, she never cussed, so it must be okay. When in college and discussing funny names for body parts, I spoke up and said "My grandmother always called it a twat!".

naive and chagrinned

When I was preschool age, I somehow convinced myself that "hospital" was a bad word - maybe because of the sick people in it, or because my dad worked in one and I didn't get to see him much. When my teacher asked me what I'd received for Christmas I burst into tears because I thought she'd yell at me for telling her I'd gotten a hospital playset.

Elizabeth

Before I was old enough for school, my folks had taught me that "pee" was a bad word...so whenever I had to recite the alphabet, I said those middle letters as "L, M, N, O, bad word". (By the time I hit first grade, thankfully, the teacher set me straight...)

Ingeborg S. Nordén

When I was about 5, I was in the car with my mum and I told her that I knew the "F" word. Worried, she took a deep breath and said "What is it?!?" I proudly replied "Fat!"

audrey

When I was little I would always get in trouble for saying 'Jesus Christ' if I dropped or broke something, so I thought it was a swear word. I remember driving past a church 'The Church of Jesus Christ', and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't allowed to say it buy churches were.

Carolyn

When i was young my dad told me to stop calling my friend a bitch and to call her a "bench" which was way worse. To this day i sometimes catch myself muttering 'bench' after someone annoys me.

ruth