My dad used to sing the song "It's Raining, It's Pouring" to me when I was a kid. When he came to the part that goes "and he couldn't get up in the morning" I used to think he said "and he cooked it up in the morning". I had this scary mental picture of an old man bumping his head so hard that his head fell off, and then he cooked his OWN HEAD the next morning. Why, I don't know. I am laughing so hard right now while typing this that I have tears coming out of my eyes.

TxTetley

Pink Floyd- Brick Wall.

I used to believe it was "we don't need no fart control" in the second line there.

Norwegian Dude From Kopervik

My ex was convinced the line from David Bowie's "Suffrigette City" was "don't lean on me man 'cos you can't afford the chickens" (as opposed to "you can't afford the ticket")

sista NeeNee

A friend of mine used to sing 'Oh my god! There's a snowman' instead of 'All we've got is this moment' to INXS's - Need You Tonight.

He was convinced that these were the correct lyrics and tried to justify this to me by saying 'Well, they come from Australia, so they've never seen snow before'.

doodin

My brother believed that Michael Jackson's song 'Billy Jean' contained the words, 'Don't go around breaking young girls' arms'!! (It was supposed to be 'hearts'!)

Rachel

I mishear more and more with the passing years... but my two best date from a while ago:
Bohemian Rhapsody -"Spare him his life from these pork sausages!" (=Monstrosities - still can't hear it any other way though!)

and Tom Jones' 'Sex Bomb' -
"Infra-red semen shoots through the night..." (well it IS Tom Jones!!) I believe it's Infra-red, see me speed through the night...

ah well... ;¬)

Gill A

I used to think the song ALL STAR went, "I ate the sharpest tool in the shed....you'll never shine if you don't blow.." I always wondered why they encouraged kids to eat sharp things and give blow jobs..

ANITA

Until I was about 18 I thought that the lyrics to Madonnas 'Erotic' were,

'Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body.'

He was on childrens television a lot at the time.

Blue

In the song "I'm Not a Loser" by the Decendents, I thought the line "you just bought her a gram of coke" was actually "you just bought her grandma a coat" which isn't very punk at all.

sunqist

In Middle Of The Road by The Pretenders, I knew I could never be as cool or as free as Chrissie Hynde because I could never see myself "standing in the middle of life with my pants behind me."

I only recently learned it was "standing in the middle of life with my pains behind me." To me it still sounds like "pants."

Pnut

My son, who's just turned nine (bless him!), chanted this out the other day:

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stabilise! Stabilise!"

Put this to the tune of to the tune of the Bee Gees' 'Staying Alive' and you'll see where the confusion comes in!

Uncle Korky

My sister, while on a plane was singing bohemian rhapsody by Queen, she got to the bit where the sing 'Gallileo' loudly, except in her childhood innocence she thought it was Gonorrhoea, much tutting, strange looks and an embarresed mother ensued

matt

When I was a young boy listening to the Beatles hit song, Ticket To Ride, I always thought they were singing, "She's got a chicken to ride". I used to sing that at the top of my lungs in my dad's car as he laughed, but he never told me the real words. I always wondered, what a huge chicken that must be, and how much fun that ride must have been!

Andy

i thought the line from Grease which goes "I've got chills, they're multiplying, and im loosing control" went "i've got cheeeese, they're multiplying, and im blue said the troll"
wish i hadnt sung that in the playground when i was little...

Anon

my boss used to think Will Smiths "Gettin jiggy with it" was "Give me chicken with it"

Claire

I was listening to my daughter sing along with a song that included the line "and the memories go on and on" but she was singing "and your mammaries go on and on" which was really a lot funnier...

Dee

When the TLC song that goes "Don't go chasing waterfalls" first came out,when I was about 8 I had to persuade my older sister that the lyrics were NOT "Go Go, Jason Waterfall". I think she thought Jason Waterfall was some wierd kind of superhero who TLC were fans of...

Jason Waterfall

When I first heard the song "Push It" by Salt N Pepa, I thought the chorus said "Aah, bullshit".

Also, in "Sad Songs Say So Much" by Elton John : "Just feel their gentle touch"..I first thought it was "just feel their genitals"

In "Silent Night", it was a "Holy imbecile, tender and mild"

Jgirl

I, previously, was convinced that the song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by the Beatles was something totally different. I used to be a big fan of Charlie Brown (ha!) and thought it was "Lucy's in a fight with Linus". AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT?? I thought this was funny because those characters do fight a lot. Go figure.

Caitlin from Canada

"You know I'd like to keep my cheese androgynous."

The song was "No Rain", by Blind Melon, and the actual line is "I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today". Everyone in my circle heard the line differently. Who didn't?

Anon