I used to believe - well actually, somewhere inside I STILL believe - that in Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean", the refrain goes:

Billy Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who says that I am the one
BUT THE CHAIR IS NOT MY SON!

Alright, so it doesn't make much sense, but I like it that way. And MJ should sing clearer.

Erik

My son, who's just turned nine (bless him!), chanted this out the other day:

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stabilise! Stabilise!"

Put this to the tune of to the tune of the Bee Gees' 'Staying Alive' and you'll see where the confusion comes in!

Uncle Korky

When I was a kid, one of my favorite songs was "I'm in Love with My Car" by Queen. However, I was confused by the line, "get a grip on my boyracer rollbar," probably because I heard it as "catch a whiff of my boyish aroma."

Josh

My sister, while on a plane was singing bohemian rhapsody by Queen, she got to the bit where the sing 'Gallileo' loudly, except in her childhood innocence she thought it was Gonorrhoea, much tutting, strange looks and an embarresed mother ensued

matt

When I was a young boy listening to the Beatles hit song, Ticket To Ride, I always thought they were singing, "She's got a chicken to ride". I used to sing that at the top of my lungs in my dad's car as he laughed, but he never told me the real words. I always wondered, what a huge chicken that must be, and how much fun that ride must have been!

Andy

i thought the line from Grease which goes "I've got chills, they're multiplying, and im loosing control" went "i've got cheeeese, they're multiplying, and im blue said the troll"
wish i hadnt sung that in the playground when i was little...

Anon

my boss used to think Will Smiths "Gettin jiggy with it" was "Give me chicken with it"

Claire

I was listening to my daughter sing along with a song that included the line "and the memories go on and on" but she was singing "and your mammaries go on and on" which was really a lot funnier...

Dee

For years my sister (who is now 22) thought the words to the Jimmy Barnes song "Cheap wine and a 3 day growth" were actually "She's fine with her 3 legged goat". She only realised a few months ago.

Jay

I used to think the lyrics to smooth criminal went anny are you wonky are you wonky anny, you've been hit by a spoon

Anon

When the TLC song that goes "Don't go chasing waterfalls" first came out,when I was about 8 I had to persuade my older sister that the lyrics were NOT "Go Go, Jason Waterfall". I think she thought Jason Waterfall was some wierd kind of superhero who TLC were fans of...

Jason Waterfall

When I first heard the song "Push It" by Salt N Pepa, I thought the chorus said "Aah, bullshit".

Also, in "Sad Songs Say So Much" by Elton John : "Just feel their gentle touch"..I first thought it was "just feel their genitals"

In "Silent Night", it was a "Holy imbecile, tender and mild"

Jgirl

I, previously, was convinced that the song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by the Beatles was something totally different. I used to be a big fan of Charlie Brown (ha!) and thought it was "Lucy's in a fight with Linus". AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT?? I thought this was funny because those characters do fight a lot. Go figure.

Caitlin from Canada

I loved the Elton John song "Tiny Dancer" when I was small. However, I was slightly confused as to why the man would be singing, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza... count the head lice on the highway...."

Anon

When I was a child, I heard the word "boughs" in "Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly" as "bowels" instead, and this was curious to me. At that time I'd never met anyone named Holly. Later, the first time I met a girl named Holly, I would associate her for the longest time with a vision of her decorating the halls at her house for Christmas with her poop.

Bruce

I wondered all the time why Michael Jackson was singing "Beat it! Beat it! No one wants to see your penis!" I figured it must be a song about a guy confronting the neighbourhood streaker.

I had no good answer for Joni Mitchell's "gay pair of guys [who] put up a parking lot." My only thought was, "Okay, well, good for them."

Anon

me and my friend were listening to the radio and the song 'love lift us up where we belong' comes on...only she thinks the words were 'the lift goes up when we get on'.

Anon

How about Peabo Brysons "Tonight I celebrate my love for you". I reckon it should be "Tonight I sellotape my glove to you"

Steve P

For about 20 years I thought the first lines of Elvis Presley's 'Suspicious Minds' were "I'm courting a trout, I can't walk out". It may be a weird concept and not make sense but at least it rhymes better than the real lyrics!

Barry, Norwich, England

My older sister and I are very close in age. When we were four and five, we were in a Taco Bell with our parents and our baby brother around Christmas Time. We were singing Christmas Carols...and got to "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". Well, we got to the line where it goes, "santa came to say, rudolph with your nose so bright won't you guide my sleigh tonight" but we were convinced and sang at the top of our lungs in this packed Taco Bell "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you be my slave tonight?" Everyone stared at my parents wondering what kind of people they were to teach us those words and we never went back to that taco bell.

Anon