there is a venue near my parents' home called "private dancer/adult bookstore." i always wanted to go there when i was little because it combined the two things i loved so much: dancing and books. i was taking tap lessons at the time, and thought one day i'd be able to perform there, my first step on my way to broadway. also, i was jealous of the adults who went to the "adult bookstore." i thought that meant they were books for people who were advanced readers. i couldn't wait until i was well read enough to go there. little did i know they were all picture books.

kel

My sister would always bring a lunch size bag of potato chips whenever we went to a department store. She didn't eat them herself, she would feed them to the mannequins. She believed that they came to life after the store was closed and they were relying on children to leave some food behind because adults did not know they were alive.

Little Lisa's Sister

I used to believe that the "black market" was a physical flea market somewhere in Central America where you could buy stolen paintings and Russian tanks.

Shannon Hubbell

I used to think that people who worked in supermarkets lived upstairs from the shop. I thought that they were really lucky because if they ever forgot to buy something, like a tin of beans, they could just pop downstairs and get it.

Elaine

I used to believe that the short display beds at department stores were for dwarfs.

p

I believed when I was a child that a man lived in the Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket (on top of the sign) and he was always chasing his furniture while it kept turning.

Caro

I used to belive that when shops closed at the end of the day, the shopkeeper took all the things off the shelves and took them home... only to bring them back the next morning and put them back again.

Wayne UK

When I was little, my dad told me that when the mall closed at night, zombies came out and ate all the people who were locked inside. It backfired, though, one night when we were still at the mall at closing time and I started freaking out.

Marian

I used to believe that the drug store sold illegal drugs. It had the word "Drug" right there on the sign!Every time I went with my parents to buy shampoo and toothpaste I would worry that we would get arrested for being there!

Anon

When I was around five, I asked my older brother where store mannequins came from; he told me that these were shoplifters that the store's boss had shot a ray at that turned them into stone, and that is why they were in such odd poses, as they were desperately running away when the ray got them- separate hand, arm, foot, and leg mannequins were grazing hits by the same ray, or when the store decided to show some mercy. I decided never to shoplift, and was in fear that I would see someone that I recognized as a mannequin someday.

Pat Flannery

When I was young, I used to really want a "lion chop" from the butcher, because I reckoned it would be cool to eat a lion. My mother used to look at me like an idiot whenever I asked her to get me one when she went to the butcher. It was only later when I was about 8 I read the sign properly and saw it actually said "loin chop". D'oh!

Stopho

I used to think that the store clerks knew everything, since they could always tell where a certain item was in a store. When I was reaching the 'curious' age, I asked a clerk was a penis was...naturally, all involved were embarrassed except for me. :) Now that I look back, I realize how stupid I was.

Nonny Mouse

When I was little I didn't understand the concept of the intercoms at Meijers stores very well. I thought that the building had a second story, and that there were people who were paid to lay on their stomachs on the 2nd floor and talk down through the intercoms in the ceiling. I just imagined all these people spread out flat on the second floor, doing nothing but talking through holes in the floor so that we could hear them.

olivesmarch4th

When I was little I used to have the habit of sticking my hand up inside vending machines, trying to reach the candy.
One day my mom told me that I shouldn't stick my arm up into the machine, because there were little men inside who dispensed the candy, and if I put my arm up inside far enough, they would grab me, pull me in, and I would forever spend my life as a vending machine worker.
To this day (I'm 22 now) I still have to get someone to reach into the vending machine pockets to fish out whatever I purchase.

Mufkin

When I was a kid I used to believe the "Help Wanted" signs up in store fronts were really a political statement in direct opposition to "Wanted: Dead or Alive" type posters.

Ben

Thanks to my parents, I believed that the only way you could open one of those Automatic Sliding Doors (the kinds at Stores) was by smiling really big.
I'm sure the camera people thought I was nuts!

Bara Boo

When I was little I used to think that the handicapped spaces were for people who had to go to the bathroom really bad. I thought that the picture of the person on the wheelchair was someone sitting on the toilet.

Anon

When I was a kid my dad used to tell me that there were two toys-r-us's. One was a real toys-r-us and the other was a fullscale cardboard cut-out model of the real toys-r-us, and me and my brother used to always ask "dad, dad, is that the real toys-r-us?" so he always got away without buying us toys.

JK

When my younger sister was just beginning to read, she would try to read all the signs she came across. In one of our favorite stores were dressing rooms bearing the sign "no more than 2 garments in dressing room at one time". She thought it read "no more than 2 grandmas in dressing room at one time" and was very concerned about what would happen to the 3rd grandma.

liz

My 5 year old sister became terribly excited while we were out shopping, and went running over to this man shouting " a man shaving a window !".
I think she made the day of the window cleaner who was using a squeegee to clean suds from the shop window.

Now I can't stop imagining hairy shop windows, that need to be regularly shaved.

Victoria J