My mom thought that God's name was Ed when she was little. She thought the Lor'd Prayer said "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hello! Ed be thy name".

The nut doesn't fall far from the tree... (from religion : prayers)

When driving through Maryland, my Dad and I would see a lot of cows. I was so upset one day because I thought they would all be turned into hamburgers. My Dad told me they only use completely black cows for hamburgers (apparently there is no such thing!). When I saw a black cow, and was upset, he told me he saw some white on it, so it was safe. I believed that one until I was 14!

Anon (from animals : general)

When I was four years old my aunt and uncle stayed at our house while my parents were on a camping trip. One afternoon they were driving my cousin and I who were acting up in the back seat. My uncle turned his head around and told me that he was going to take me to the police station and give me the electric chair. I couldn’t understand why my aunt thought that was funny. Nevertheless, for most of my early childhood I believed every police station had an electric chair.

JR (from the law : police)

I cried for a couple of days, throwing terrible tantrums until my parents decided to grill me until they could figure out my problem.

I finally discovered my horse wasn't actually being broken into bits, but would rather come home "broken" to ride.

Jen D (from animals : general)

My grandma died when I was very young and my Aunt was upset because I was having a good time playing with my cousin. She thought we should be sad too but I thought someone had to die in order for there to be enough room on the planet for a baby to be born. I thought it was really nice that my grandma had given her spot on earth to someone else. Besides, I thought she was soooo old.

sadly mistaken (from death : people)

When I was young I refused to drink well water because I thought it came out of whales.

itodd (from language : speaking)

I used to believe that when my mom made pasta, she messed it up every time and had to dump it down the sink and start over, I was always amazed at how fast the second batch took, since we always ate right after she dumped it... I didn't see the colander until I was old enough to see into the sink.

Anon (from food : general)

At school, we were always taught "dont drink and drive." When my father was drinking a soda as he was driving, I freaked out.

mie (from food : drinks)

I grew up with a cardiovascular condition that required open heart surgery. My parents took me to the doctor for a check-up and I started screaming like a raving lunatic. I got covered in sweat and started crying and my brother even swears I pee'd on myself. My parents finally calmed me down and asked what was wrong. My brother told me that when I went into the doctor's office he was going reach into my chest and pull out my heart, fix it, and then put it back in. He had seen it on one of those Indiana Jones documentaries our father watched...

Zak (from body functions : being ill)

When I was younger my father told me that if I picked my nose my nostril would stretch to accommodate the size of my finger.

Lord knows I didn't want big holes in my nose so I stopped picking my nose.

Anon (from bad habits : picking my nose)

When I was little, my older sister was telling me how meat came from different animals. She told me that hamburger (what I was eating at the time) came from cows, and bacon (which I had for breakfast) came from pigs. She then told me how they get the meat out of the animal, the animal poops it out. I sure got some weird looks at lunch my first day at school. Thanks, sis. Thanks :p

Zane (from food : general)

When I was little my grandmother gave me slices of swiss cheese and ask me to save her the holes. I carefully ate around each hole leaving a rim and handed her back a plate of holes as she had requested.

Anon (from food : general)

I wanted to dress up as a leopard for Halloween and my mom had made me a costume that zipped up the back. As my father was helping me to get dressed he told me a story about my brother dressing up like a dog for Halloween which I didn't understand because I was an only child. Then he pointed to our border collie Truman and told me that Truman used to be my brother but they couldn't find the zipper at the end of the night so he had become our dog. I was never so glad to get out of a costume in my entire life.

Deb (from grown-ups : family)

I was afraid of elephants due to the "Pink Elephants on Parade" dream sequence from Dumbo. When ever it was time for bed, I was afraid that the pink elephants would come and take me away. To get me to fall asleep, my father would spray "Pink Elephant Repellant" all over my room, rendering it safe for 24 hours from all packaderms.
I slept like a dream, but for over 3 months we had this ritual of the spraying.

Come to find out - it was Aquanet Hairspray, and yes, things in my room were very sticky!!

Anon (from make-believe : monsters)

For most of my early years I believed I was dropped from a plane by gypsies because my parents told me so. One day, I must have been about 7 I happened to look up at a passing plane when it hit me. What were gypsies doing in planes? This was my justification for questioning my parents about this. Apparently they had forgotten they had told me this and burst out laughing that I still believed something they had told me so long ago.

little b (from transport : aeroplanes)

Since both my parents had blue eyes, and my brother and I have blue eyes, I thought that families had to have the same color eyes. A friend was the only blue-eyed person in her brown-eyed family so I was convinced she was adopted for years.

LR (from body parts : eyes)

My wife used to believe that the purpose of the stick shift in her Dad's car was to stir the gas.

Curt (from transport : cars)

I used to believe that north was always straight ahead. I could never face south, but I knew it was behind me!

Bruces (from nature : landscape)

I used to believe that if I didn't finish my dinner at a restaurant, the chef's feelings would be extremely hurt and he wouldn't allow me back at the restarant because I was mean.

Jessica (from grown-ups : work)

I used to believe that when we would fly somewhere there was a separate plane for our luggage. A smaller plane that would fly behind the people plane. Then, it explained why the luggage would take soooo long and why it would get lost sometimes.

ag08h (from transport : aeroplanes)