i used to think sex was just this really short thing called "peenie touch vagina." like if the parents wanted to make a baby, they'd do it quickly before dad left for work in the morning. they'd lean up in a doorpost, each would take down their pants to the middle of the thigh, and then dad would just lean forward and touch for a second. then mom would be pregnant.

adam j. sontag

I used to belive that a man would make the sperm like a toy and then the woman would sit ont the toilet and pump the sperm up her thing with a tube. I later belived that the family would stand outside and the mom would open her mouth up wide and the stork would drop the baby in her mouth!

anon

My three brothers and I were raised Catholic in the 1950s and 60s, so any discussion remotely connected with "where did we come from" was met by my mother with panic. My youngest brother, aged five, the favourite and therefore hated by the rest of us, persisted; and getting nowhere he came to me, as I was the oldest, or perhaps just the loudest. I told him that Gypsies had left him with us, and further, told us that if he ever lied, we were to take him down to the lake and tie him to the tree there, and they would come and take him back. He panicked even more than Mother did, and didn't lie for years afterward.

The Big Sister

I used to think babies came out of the toilet

Anon

Around the age of 5 I started wondering how babies where made. I never asked my mom, but me and my friends came up with a theory that a man and a woman get naked and hug and kiss and rub up agenst eachother, causing friction, and the heat from the friction would cause a womans stomach to get big, and a baby would pop out.

tori g

somehow, i knew about the sperm and egg thing, but i used to think that a women would get the sperm from the man by kissing too much!

Anon

I used to think babies were produced only if the couple was married after 1 year and it would automatically happen. I wanted my mom to have another baby and she said no. I told her she could have a private wedding ceremony with only her close family so it wouldn't be too much hassle and she would get pregnant again! LOL

Lime

When I was about 5 or 6 I was curious as to how babies were produced. My mother told me if you ate a lot of food you would have a baby. And I always invisioned the inside of a woman's body filled with peas and carrots instead of bones and muscles so she could become pregnant.

I also thought once you get married you would automatically have a baby after a year. My cousin got married and didn't have a baby for 5 years and I asked my mom "Why didn't she have a baby yet they've been married for so long!"

Lime

I thought daddys made babies in a work shop... sort of like pinocio. and then angels came down and brought us to life... again like the story. It was cleared up for me one day when I asked my mom to have my father to go to his work shop and make me a new brother...

Anon

i used to believe that if you ate too much food, you'd get fat and then poop out a baby. =X

monkichi

I used to think that Kissing or making out with someone meant having sex. Along with that i thought that when you got married, you just got pregnant from the fact that you got married.

Lin-Z

i used to believe that at the wedding when man and woman got married and they kissed the guy coughed up the sperm and i was like mom doesnt that taste bad. now i know why she looked at me funny.

Anon

i used to believe that when you were having sex to have a baby you would need to pee in the womans vagina and the next time she peed there would be a baby in the toilet

Alex

I once saw a lady nursing her baby in a public bathroom. For the longest time after that I thought that when a lady got pregnant the baby grew off of her breast and when it was ripe you picked it off like a grape! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Dyth

I knew about the basics of sex from a young age, but didn't know about birth control until later. When I was about nine or ten, I heard about how very religious people believed in having lots of children. I thought it was because every time they felt themselves getting horny, they took it as a calling from God that they should be trying to reproduce right that very moment.

Anon

During a biology lesson at my "lets not tell the children about sex" Catholic secondary school, I told my closest friend that it order to get a woman pregant that during sex you had to get your penis into her uterus. If you didn't want to get her pregnant you needed to practice the withdrawal method. Which according to my expert knowledge was at the moment of orgasm (yours not hers I suspect)withdrawing your penis to just outside her uterus.
I haven't seen this friend for a long time, but I hope he got better advice from elsewhere. But for certain he didn't get from the Catholic Church school in Halifax!

batty

When i was younger i believed that a miscarriage was when someone goes to take a baby on a stroll in a carriage but miss...and the baby falls on the floor!

WoOpS

i used to think that when i was born momies and dadies would go to the baby shop and go buy a baby lol until i found out how babys are made!!!!

kim

I used to believe that the saying "(name) was born with a spoon in their mouth" actually was saying that someone was born with one in their mouth.

cArLa

i used to believe that babies grew in the ground and that they were hatched from potapoes

Brooke