This is pretty weird. Brace yourself! I'm a boy, and when i was little, I thought that girls privates were just like a tiny little hole in the front of the pubic area (right about where the penis is) that they peed out of. Anyway, I thought that when they peed, it had no pressure behind it, so it would just like dribble down the front and fall down which is why they had to pee sitting down. I thought that when you had sex, you just put your pee-pee in the girl and then peed in her (GROSS!!!!!!!!) and it would shoot up into her bladder and mix with her pee. I thought there was something about boy pee and girl pee mixing that made a baby (I thought girls pee was pink by the way). I wondered why there weren't thousands of little babies growing in the sewers. I figured the government must put a special chemical in the sewers to keep the boy pee and the girl pee from mixing. Thank God we had an anatomy book lying around that I read when I was 12 and it corrected a lot of things for me, otherwise, I'd probably be pretty warped these days. :P

mostly normal nick

I used to believe that getting pregnant was like inflating a beachball. The Husband inserts his member into the Wife, and while pumps, pumps, and pumps some more, her belly slowly rises. This continues for as long as necessary. They might pause for a break, with them rubbing the belly going, "You reckon that's big enough?". The Wife then carries around a full-size belly for 9 months, to give the baby enough room and time to develop.

SillyGirl

I had known about sex since I was little, and I knew about pregnancy and having babies, but I never knew that the two were related! So when people would say that someone had been trying to have a baby for a long time, I thought that meant that they sat around and concentrated really hard on getting pregnant.

Anon

I used to believe that my grandpa was pregnant... he was all muscle everywhere else except for his very round belly. When I couldn't take the weight anymore, I had to ask him why his water hadn't broken yet... I had to explain to him why I thought this, too. He laughed and said that boys stayed pregnant longer than girls.. it wasn't until I was 8 or 9 that I finally found out that it was a beer belly..

I still remember checking him every day... *sigh*

Marcii07

I used to believe that when a woman was pregnant, she fed the baby with a tiny spoon through her belly button.

Marie

I used to believe that the people that designed "Congratulation" cards for new mothers all copied each other, or why would they ALWAYS draw a stork on it?

My parents had very considerably told me the real origin of babies, but had never explained the "alternate theories" about cabbage patches and storks!

Alan

I have a 2 yr old and am now pregnant with my second one. We talk about the baby all the time and I show him my belly and my son thinks he has one in his belly button too. But when we go to the store and people ask him where his new brother is, he always reaches up and grabs my breasts and tells them that's where the baby is! I have NO idea where he got that idea!!!

snufflekitty

my mom used to joke around about getting me at jcpennys...and well i believed it so when i was asked where i was born i used to say..."JCPENNYS!" i thought that u bought a little packet and made the baby like by sewing it

Anon

when i was a kid i used to think that when women had gotten pregnant they would get fat and then one day when they sat down to go to the bathroom the aby would fall out. i even thought that when somebabys got flushed they turned into turtles. i also couldent grasp the concept that only women got pregnant( i was only 5 gimme a break) so everytime i took a shit i would check just to make sure it wasnt a baby

BIGD

When I was about 7, I met a blonde woman who had a redheaded baby. After she left, I exclaimed to my mom that she must of stolen the baby. When my mom asked me why, I told her because the baby had red hair and the woman didn't. Therefore, in my mind there was no way that baby belonged to that woman. My mom tried to explain that children don't always have the same hair color as their parents. Which to an extent I believed because I was blonde and my mom a brunette but because redheads were so rare to me, I just "knew" that only two redheads could make a baby with red hair. I refused to believe otherwise.

Anon

From hearing vague descriptions of intercourse and the fact that there was an "egg" involved in reproduction, I somehow got the idea in my head that the "egg" emerged from the man's penis during intercourse. I would compare the size of eggs from the fridge with the circumference of my own youthful member and feel a genuine sense of dread about what I assumed would be an intensely painful process.

Anon

Maybe this would more of an "unbelief"...
When i was about 5 or 6, I happened to interrupt my Mom explaining the "facts of life" to my older brother. (My mom was very open about this subject, something I appreciate to this day.) She was saying that when a woman is born, she already has thousands of eggs in her tummy, to make babies when she is married. I looked at my Mom for a while, soaking that in. And then I looked down at my own tummy, and thought "you are crazy; no way are there thousands of eggs in my tummy!" Keep in mind, I'm 5 and I'm thinking chicken eggs...
I just gave my mom that look kids give you: "you are so full of sh--", and walked away...

erna

i used to believe that when your mother was pregnant, you were in her stomach, and in order to feed you when you were in there, you just ate whatever came down. i had this really vivid picture of my mum eating oranges and a foetal me gobbling up all the segments.

andy

Until I had my first ejaculation, I just assumed that sperm swam out of the penis gradually throughout sex. When I had my first ejaculation I thought I was hideously ill! I thought I had cancer in my penis and some "cancer pus" had come out.

Anon

Up until I was about 11 years old I didn't understand how sexual intercourse was performed. I used to think you just laid in bed and kissed and you would get pregnant because that's all I saw on T.V.

T-will

My mom has 2 brothers and a sister, and since I knew they came from my grandmother, I always thought that when my grandmother was pregnant, the 4 of them were adults, sitting inside her, and playing cards, waiting to be born.

Shalini

I used to think that if you had a baby and wanted it to be the opposite sex -- e.g., if you gave birth to a boy and had wanted a girl -- you could just have a sex change operation performed on it and, voila! It's a girl!

Melissa

When my parents explained sex to me I was pretty young, around 7. I understood how the parts met but never understood the rest. Though young I was very scientific and just could not figure it out. Finally in the car with my mom at a red light, she noticed that I really looked like I had to pee. She asked me if I had to go and I shook my head yes.
She pulled off at a gas station and I refused to get out and go. Finally I told her that I did not want to pee because I would be killing my tadpoles. Upon further questioning she realized that I thought I had to pee in a girl to get my "tadpoles" to seek out her egg. The shear thought of flushing my "tadpoles" down the toilet when I peed horrified me. Today I have a bladder of steal, wonder why?

The best part of the story is that I had apparently relayed the tadpole "Theory" to my playmate Mark(son of my mom's best friend). For days he had a coke bottle on his window sill. He told his mother that he had a tadpole in it.This was nothing unusual so she took his word for it. The water in the bottle became cloudy and stunk up his whole room. This prompted his mother to find the bottle full of old pee :)

~Robert Sean Gibson

~robert Sean Gibson

i used to beleive that the gender of a baby was determined by how long it stayed inside the mother's womb. in my head, if a girl had stayed in longer, her clitoris would have grown out and she would be a he.

julia

When I was young and wondering about 'the birds and the bees' I asked my mum how babies were made. She told me the truth, unlike any other mum: An egg and a sperm. I had no idea what this sperm thing was or where it came from, but i did my level best to stop anyone frying or boiling or eating eggs for a while after, claiming "you're destroying potential babies!"

Chinky Lil