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When I was a little girl I thought that my poop came alive after I flushed the toilet and lived with my other poops in the pipes. I pictured a long condo type of world where there were big poops (daddy), all the way to the teeny poops which were babies. (I can't believe I'm actually sharing this after 30 odd years of keeping this to myself!!!) I thought that they lived a good life, happy to out of me and on their own. I thought of the different neighborhoods and my friends poops meeting my own.
I'm happy to say I grew up to be well adjusted and hadn't thought about this since I was a little girl. Reading these other submissions prompted me to share my own.
pooped out in CA
When i was little (like 3 or 4) my big sister (by three years) told me that there was a "potty monster" and when you went number 2 it would come and eat you ass.....only for like a day though cause my mom told me it wasnt true....
You wish you were me!
I used to believe that there were little people (who looked just like the Keebler elves) who lived in the toilet and drank pee and used poo as play-dough.Weird, huh?
Our primary school toilets were very old-fashioned and had khaki-coloured doors. The cleaner's cupboard was next to the rows of cubicles and was the same length as each cubicle, but slightly wider, with two doors that were always locked. On my first time there, I thought it was a special, extra-big toilet with lots of exciting things inside. I figured it was always locked because someone else was in there and it was very popular. For years I believed this and was desperate to get in there, and I could never understand why someone always beat me to it. Even if I went in class time, it appeared to be taken. I couldn't believe my bad timing.
It was only about 5 years later when I was in there one day and the cleaner came in to get something out of the cupboard that I realised the truth.
Miranda
When I was young (under ~10 years of age), I believed that the toliet would not flush during an electrical power failure. Any time I had to tinkle or drop a stool, I'd leave it unflushed until the lights came back on; then quickly race to that bathroom and flush.
Craig Johnson
I used to believe that the toilet had "tides" and when it was on "low tide" you could go down the toilet and you would go into the sewers. To add to this i would only use toilets at 'safe' times, to avoid having to live in the sewers!
Ella
i thought in the sewers there was a couple of guys, and a bunch of pipes, each labbeled with a families last name, and when 1 would fill up, they'd have to dump it in a landfill. never thought of how it gets there though.
im 13, and i still belive it, except now i think scientists are doing a study on the size of your poos, and if you need the plungr, u get an A+.
Steph(13)
I used to think that if I flushed the toilet several times in a row, I could make it overflow.
when i was little, i hated going to pee during the night because i thought that if i didn't make it from the bathroom back into my bed before the toilet stopped making flushing noises, vampires would swoop into my house and take me away. needless to say, i rarely washed my hands.
i used to beleive that there was a toilet fairy
Kassi Sherbeck
I used to believe that when you bought a house, it came with a limited supply of water and after you used the toilet, it would go through "The water cleaner" and be clean again and you could drink it. I refused to go into the shower when the water was brown and we needed a filter.
When i was little i used to believe that anything you flushed down the toilet would come back up with the new water. one day when i was three i told my mom i could go to the bathroom all by myself. she asked if i was sure i i said "of course i'm sure." She told me to change into my pajamas while i was in there. to test my theory, i flushed my favorite pajamas down the toilet (they were silk so the toilet didn't clog). i stared at the toilet for a while waiting for them to come back up but the only thing that came down(i later learned that water came down, not up) was new water. my mom asked what was taking so long and i ran out of the bathroom in my underwear crying and screaming "THE TOILET ATE MY PAJAMAS AND IT WON'T GIVE THEM BACK!!!" my mother quietly laughed at me and then explained how toilets actually worked.
tajah
I used to beleve that the toliet was called the bog monster
Kat
There was always this terrible musky smell in the bathrooms at my preschool. I decided the odor was from boys and leaves, and I called the smell "izzies."
Ele
When I was little, (four to five) I would believe that some kind of monster (for some reason he was nice) would eat everything you put into the toilette, and for some reason, he really liked poop. So I'd talk to him while I was on the toilette and say "I'm pooping hard for you so you'll get full"
I also had an uneasy feeling like he would eat my butt if I didnt poop or pee enough.
Needless to say, I dont talk much to the monster in the toilette anymore. (Ok, maybe once in a while, to make sure I'm on his good side. =)
Dennis Kiper
When I was about 5 I used to belive that the story of 'Mary and Joshep' they told me in sunday school was untrue because I I didn't know how they would go to the toilet. I realiosed a few years later that 'proper' toilets hadent even been invented then.
Beth
When I was little I used to believe that when you flushed, a monster would eat what you "disposed" of. That leads to why The toilet makes noises. I thought the monster was saying," Thanks for the food!!!"
MN
My dad used to say that the rats in the sewer are having a party when he had a pee when he got drunk,cause there was alcohol in his pee. I believed it so much that every time he said it, I went and threw lots of peanuts and crips down the loo. Well, no party without nibbles..!!!! I was only about 4 or 5.
Ren
You know how when you flush the toilet the handle rises back up again? Well when I was little I believed that was due to George the Ghost pulling it back up for me, so I'd always say "thank you" to him after flushing. I also believed that George felt like smooth fibreglass....I still have no idea where I got that from.....
Anon
I was on a routine babysitting adventure, when my cousin comes out of the bathroom claiming the toilet was mad at him, therefore I had to wipe him to make the toilet happy again. I did this continually until he was about five. My suprise when his older brother, whom is eleven, tells me that he just made up the whole thing because he didn't want to wipe himself/
Beth, US
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