animals

after i saw the first doctor doolittle movie i thought i could talk to animals so i would just get in front of my dog goose and just start talking and he would look at me and i was convinced that he was listing to every word i said

My mom used to tell me that all cats had a devils hair at the end of their tails, thats why we couldnt have one. Now im all grown up and she has a cat of her own that she spoils rotten.

When I was little, I had a bunny, whose name was bun-bun. He was brown. Anyway. I once left a salad next to him and when I came back, it was gone. My mother proceded to point out that the salad was inside of him. Thus, I believed, untill I was in third grade, that salad was evil becuase you had to cut open bunnies to get salad.

At the school I first attended, there was an enormous privet hedge with several big gaps in it, presumably where the branches hadn't been able to grow or where the hedge had been damaged by a football.

At the age of about five or six, I discovered one of these gaps. Sticking my head inside, I saw little piles of grass (cuttings that had fallen off the lawnmower?), lots of twigs, and some vaguely cup-shaped leaves filled with rainwater.

My conclusion?

IT WAS A HOTEL FOR BIRDS.

It all seemed very simple. The leaf "cups" were for the birds to drink from. The twigs and grass were their "beds" (nests), but they'd got horribly messed up, which was why there weren't any birds staying there now.

I spent the next couple of months tidying up the "hotel", making neat little nests to lodge amongst the branches. When the birds still didn't come, I wasn't discouraged-- I figured they'd go to hotels when everyone else did, that is, in the school holidays!

Up to this day, (I'm 18), I believed that chickens self-reproduced. Never in my wildest dreams would I assume that roosters and hens did the wild nature dance. Or cows and almost every other animal for that matter. I got schooled by my roomates, who basically laughed in my face. It was like sex education all over again. I was in denial I thought that farmers just had to feed there chickens until they got fat and the chickens didn't have any room left in their tummies so an egg would come out. What has the world come too?

When I was growing up, I always wanted a German Shepard dog. My Mother told me we couldn 't have one because no one in our family spoke German so the dog wouldn't be able to understand us, and we wouldn't know when he was hungry or had to go outside...

I used to believe that sheep would fall off the hill

I used to believe that I could become a cat if I tried really hard. I would crawl on the floor like a cat and meow like a cat. Since I meowed so much, I would actually answer someone's question with a meow on accident. This went on for awhile, until fourth grade, when the teacher asked me a question and front of the class and I meowed.

i used to believe that there was a creature called a feather legged tree rabbit! We used to live opposite a wood and my father used to call out "Quick, look, can u see it? - oh, u just missed it. i imagined it to be like a squirrel but with huge ears and feathers down its legs.

when i was little my dad told me that cows that were nearly all white were full of milk and ready for milking and cows that were nearly all black had just been milked!

when i was a kid my granddad used to tell me there were wolves in the woods to stop me wandering off during picnics. i got so scared that my mum told me there was no such thing as wolves, and they all became extinct years ago. no-one ever corrected this belief, until i was 26 and my hubby laughed at me for still thinking there was no such thing as wolves.

I used to believe that all cats were female and all dogs were male.

My great-grandmother taught me that mountain goats had legs shorter on one side than the other. I imagined all of those goats needing to walk forever in the direction in which their particular anatomy allowed them to walk without falling over.

Since there was no explanation given for why cats became pregnant, I concluded that it was just something that happened - no real cause.

The Ant News....."Today in Little Hill Suburbia, 1,795 ants were crushed to their deaths by an unidentified, white object that repeatedly fell from the sky and slammed into the busy downtown area killing 1,795 ants and critically injuring hundreds more. Oh wait, this just in - it appears to be the foot of some colossal creature! Troops were sent in to gang up on it and sting it but they too were laid to waist...." When I was about 4, 5 and 6 years old I would watch nature very closely. I soon discovered that ants were an incredible component of nature because of their strength, numbers, and group effort. I hated them because to me they seemed to capitalize on tragedy, they were ruthlessly mean and incredibly self centered. I came to this conclusion after seeing a group of ants gang up on a half dead horse fly. When the fly was dead they went and told all their greedy friends who came back to the fly, crawled up under it and began carrying it off. I could just imagine the chanting song they must have been singing while carrying the fly to their ant lair - exactly like the flying monkeys in The Wizard of OZ. After that I slaughtered as many ants as I could find. I'd put off coming in for dinner for an hour in order to kill all the ants within my sight. I then imagined my gigantic image being broadcast all over the six o'clock ant news.

I used to believe that all garbage bags on the side of the road were filled with kittens that people had thrown away. I think it originated from a Tom & Jerry cartoon. I would cry and beg my mom to stop and pick up the bags but I wouldn't tell her why. I thought she would refuse because we already had 2 cats. It was torture on road trips but mom just thought I was environmentally conscious.