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I used to believe when the birds sang, they were telling each other about things I did. I would try very hard not to do anything weird to keep the birds from talking about me.
When I was a young girl my family went to the zoo. My Uncle told me that when the Flamingos were bad they chopped off one leg and that is why so many Flamingos were standing on one leg. A few were sitting down and he said those had not learned their lesson the first time.
When I was about two or three I used to believe that the birds were starving. When they flew over our house, I felt so sorry for them...I thought they were trying desperately to find food. Well, this prompted me to begin shouting, my face toward the sky, "DOUGHNUTS!!! WE"RE GONNA GET YOU SOME DOUGHNUTS!!!" I was hoping that might cheer up the birds, and usually after that my grandparents would give me some stale bread to throw out.
i once asked my father why bird excrement was white. he told me it was because it got *really* scared on the way down.
We convinced my younger Brother, Mark that the sea gulls weren't calling aaark, but they were calling Maaarrrk and were going to get him. You'll be glad to know that he has recovered against the odds into a well adjusted adult.
When I was about 7 yrs old our chickens would jump over the fence and dig up mums garden so Dad said he was going to chop their toenails off, using an axe (!) of all things. Little did I know but he was actually chopping their heads off and right up until I was about 15 I really believed that chickens would die if you cut their toenails off.
We used to take the bus all the time when I was a kid, as our family didn't have a car. One day, there were a bunch of pigeons around the bus stop, and one of them was making that "coo coo" noise. I asked my dad why the pigeon was cooing, and he told me that it was because it was pregnant.
When I was 20, I was with my girlfriend, and heard a pigeon cooing. I exclaimed, "Wow, a pregnant pigeon!" She soon had me straightened out.
I read a book when I was little about a little girl who is taught to fly by geese. Needless to say I was very impressed and decided that if geese would teach this kid to fly then why not me? I chased geese around pleading with them to teach me how to fly for about the next 8 months.
My sister loved geese and swans, but when it came to ducks, she for some VERY strange reason she thought that they were the devil's minions. It was quite a sight to see her running in the park towards all the ducks and hear her scream in front of everyone, "GO AWAY YOU MEANIES!! YOU WON'T TAKE MY SOUL TO THE DEVIL!!"
When I was in kindergarten, my friend ate some sunflower seeds out of a bag of bird seed. For about a month afterward, she was convinced that she was going to turn into a bird.
I used to always think that the only time birds flew over people's heads is when they had to go to the bathroom. I used to always run away whenever I played in the backyard thinking they would poop on my head.
I used to think that birds sang in different languages depending on the country they were in!
When i was maybe 5, I used to think that there were 2 types of Chicken. The kind you eat, and the kind on the farm. When I found out i was wrong, I almost became a vegetarian, but i cant give chicken up!
When I was 4, I asked asked "Dad, why do pelicans have blue feet?"
He answered "Because the water is cold."
I was well into University before I realised I'd been had.
I use to believe that the Schwan's food truck carried swans... not food. So whenever it came to my house, I got really excited and thought we were getting a new pet. But that never happened...
I thought that ground turkey refered to turkeys grown underground. I wondered why they did that, as they only ever became little strips...
My two year old believes that electiricty poles are actually there for the birds. "They hold up ropes for the birds to stand on".
I was six years old when Alfred Hitchcock’s "The Birds" was released. My family and I saw it and truthfully, it really frightened me! To add to my fears, my parents thought it would be fun to visit Bodega Bay. When we arrived, the green grass in front of the hotel we were staying in, was covered with crows. I didn’t want to get out of the car. My younger brother and younger sister laughed at me. They convinced me to get out because in "reality" they told me, the birds only attack at night. Come night fall, I was under the bed and very very upset! My family laughed and laughed. I slept under that bed all night and was angry at them for laughing. Of course, that was over 40 years ago and I am now an avid bird watcher and part of Cornell University’s Project Feeder Watch. However, I do confess, on occasion, when I see a black crow, I wonder……..
Once my mom was cracking egss to make breakfast and I asked her why they had not turned into chickens. She said because the eggs "had not been fertilized." So for the longest time I pictured park rangers or other official people going from nest to nest all over the world carrying a bag of fertilizer and sprinkling it on birds' eggs.
I use to believe that people who wore tuxedos were actually wearing the skins of Penguins.