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I Used To Believe...
I used to believe that when it thundered
It was the really the clouds bumping into each other
The rain came down, the clouds said hello
Casting a shadow on the young girl below.
I used to believe you asked God for a baby
He would then plant a seed in your belly, maybe.
I guess that belief was somewhat right,
Although it really happens in a bed, at night.
On that note, I used to believe,
You had to go to the doctor to conceive.
You would both put on a hospital gown,
Then on a cold metal table, you’d both lie down.
I used to believe that you’d find the devil
If you dug too deep in the ground with a shovel.
I called over to my gardening neighbor with a yell,
“You know, if you keep digging, you’ll dig straight to hell!”
When I learned the news, my breakfasts turned into horror
When my sister teased, “Guess who moved in next door?”
His hair was stringy white, and his name was Sam.
Our new neighbor, I thought, was the Quaker Oatmeal Man.
I used to believe that Euthenasia
Involved the study of the children in Malaysia.
This got corrected in a high school class
When I raised my hand; made myself look like an ass.
Another belief I also bore
Was that A.D. really stood for “After Dinosaurs”.
It really means in the year of the Lord
Clearly in Latin class, I daydreamed, bored.
I used to believe when you drank too much booze
Your blood got thin, that’s why you got loose.
Then I learned, what’s really to blame
Is the alcohol, pickling your brain.
Looking back on the things that I thought,
Some of them right, many of them not.
I realized I will never know it all,
We are all pretty clueless, after all.
I used to believe that you could get sucked into the vacuum cleaner if you got too close! I would get scared and scream whenever my mom would vacuum, thinking that I would get sucked into it!!
I used to think the ottoman was called the "autumin" because it was invented in autumn. I
When I was younger my brothers and sisters, total 9 kids, we were told we couldn't go in the swimming pool after we ate for 45 minutes and the only way we could we had to do laps around the yard, we had 7 acres, if we didn't we would get stomach cramps and drown, ever night we did laps around the yard, come to think of that I still believe that today. I wonder if that's really true lol I'm gonna have to look that up on the Internet
My mom use to tell me when I was younger if your Listening to music to loud you'll go deaf
Sitting to close to the TV you'll go blind
I used to think that in the hallways, some black creature would come and chase me if I didn't run to my next destination.
One time when I was little my dad put my Mickey Mouse ears and I was totally convinced he was Mickey Mouse. I got my mom to take a picture of us. He took the ears off, and I told him how exciting it was when I met Mickey Mouse.
When I was young, I used to believe that my life was a show on television. When I go to sleep I used to think that the show would put an ending theme (like who is the actor's real name and the producer etc.) I tried explaining to my mother that we are all in the show and someone is watching us so she would get really frustrated after a lot of explanations.
I somehow got the idea that if I boiled a rock, it would come to life. My dad disproved that...
I used to think rust stains on the concrete outside our house were marks caused by mini meteorites falling from the night sky. Turns out, no mini meteorites ever fell onto our driveway. I always worried one would hit me on the head.
When i was around 5 or 6, i use to think that spiders went up my bum when i was on the toilet so, everytime i needed a poo, i would look inside and around the toilet to make sure there was no spiders.
I used to believe that the people who appear on TV were inside of it and I tried to see them and I didn't understand what was happening.
I used to believe that when you were watching TV and someone said "don't change that channel" or "don't touch that dial" and you did, someone would appear on the screen and start yelling at you for changing it.
I remember myself being around 5 years old when this happened. Sometimes at night, while sleeping in my little crib, I would hear a chain dragged on the hallway outside my room, in the middle of the night. You can imagine the sound, a metalic sound. This kept happening until I was 8 or 9 years old, and I was always horrified by it so I never told anybody about it. I always thought there was an evil ghost there and if i get out of my room it would take me with it. sometimes i would even cry. It all stopped when I became old enough to face it, just to discover it was actually the refrigerator warming up or cooling down, and the sound was made by it's pump.
My mom used to tell us that if we didn't clean up our toys, the vacuum cleaner would suck them up forever. This strategy was a little too effective, because I thought it even applied to large objects like my playsets, and I was even afraid it would suck me up if I got in the way, so I would always run away and hide whenever my mom was vacuuming
I used to believe that the dishwasher filled all the way up with water when it was used, like an oldschool washing machine, and if you opened it mid-cycle it would flood the house.
I used to think the people who appeared on television lived in it and if I broke it they would escape.
In 2nd grade, my friend Jessica told me if I called 1800-HEAVEN, I could talk to anybody who has went to heaven. This also meant I could call 1800-Santa/Tooth-Fairy/Easter Bunny. I immediately rushed home and began to call all these numbers, only to find out the reality of it was, there was no such thing
This goes back to the early 50's. I remember asking my mother how the radio worked (before we had a TV). She said it worked with tubes. I puzzled with that and I imagined a room with walls of tiny hoses or tubes that the announcers spoke into. The tubes must have carried their voices to each person's radio. I had to believe it - my mother told me it was so!