around the houseShow most recent or highest rated first.
I used to think you needed a special license to call someone a dummy
My sister thought that cars didn't actually move. Instead, the whole world moved around us and a car was some magic object that made it happen somehow. Even stranger, she didn't think that the objects just traveled, moreover that they got up and walked with legs like people do. To her, it was such an adventure, as if the whole world was marching parade style past the windows every time we drove somewhere. Can you imagine how fun the world must have been in her head?
I used to believe that all the things in Earth were alive. So, I was used to making friends everywhere, either a plush, a fork or even a line in a glass. And I used to speak with them when I was alone, like "Hello Mr. Sun, How are you today? " and I answered to myself like "I am very good thanks for asking".
When I was 5, or 6, my older cousin told me something that scared me. He said that the big vacuum cleaner that my mom used was a monster and that if i got too close to it, I would get sucked into it and I'll be stuck in it for the rest of my life. Whenever my mom would vacuum, I would be standing on my bed and when i got close to the vacuum cleaner I would start screaming and crying!
When I was a kid, my dad would warn us not to break the TV screen because it would implode. I didn't know what implode meant, so I assumed he meant explode. I was often afraid to sleep near it, because I thought it would blow up.
I used to think that when you bought something off the internet you payed by taking apart the monitor and putting coins in.
Then when I found out that you used a credit card I thought that you had to put the credit card in the CD slot.
I once believed that the walls and ceilings were completely jam packed with plumbing and wiring.
I Used To Believe...
I used to believe that when it thundered
It was the really the clouds bumping into each other
The rain came down, the clouds said hello
Casting a shadow on the young girl below.
I used to believe you asked God for a baby
He would then plant a seed in your belly, maybe.
I guess that belief was somewhat right,
Although it really happens in a bed, at night.
On that note, I used to believe,
You had to go to the doctor to conceive.
You would both put on a hospital gown,
Then on a cold metal table, you’d both lie down.
I used to believe that you’d find the devil
If you dug too deep in the ground with a shovel.
I called over to my gardening neighbor with a yell,
“You know, if you keep digging, you’ll dig straight to hell!”
When I learned the news, my breakfasts turned into horror
When my sister teased, “Guess who moved in next door?”
His hair was stringy white, and his name was Sam.
Our new neighbor, I thought, was the Quaker Oatmeal Man.
I used to believe that Euthenasia
Involved the study of the children in Malaysia.
This got corrected in a high school class
When I raised my hand; made myself look like an ass.
Another belief I also bore
Was that A.D. really stood for “After Dinosaurs”.
It really means in the year of the Lord
Clearly in Latin class, I daydreamed, bored.
I used to believe when you drank too much booze
Your blood got thin, that’s why you got loose.
Then I learned, what’s really to blame
Is the alcohol, pickling your brain.
Looking back on the things that I thought,
Some of them right, many of them not.
I realized I will never know it all,
We are all pretty clueless, after all.
I used to believe that you could get sucked into the vacuum cleaner if you got too close! I would get scared and scream whenever my mom would vacuum, thinking that I would get sucked into it!!
I used to think the ottoman was called the "autumin" because it was invented in autumn. I
When I was younger my brothers and sisters, total 9 kids, we were told we couldn't go in the swimming pool after we ate for 45 minutes and the only way we could we had to do laps around the yard, we had 7 acres, if we didn't we would get stomach cramps and drown, ever night we did laps around the yard, come to think of that I still believe that today. I wonder if that's really true lol I'm gonna have to look that up on the Internet
My mom use to tell me when I was younger if your Listening to music to loud you'll go deaf
Sitting to close to the TV you'll go blind
I used to think that in the hallways, some black creature would come and chase me if I didn't run to my next destination.
One time when I was little my dad put my Mickey Mouse ears and I was totally convinced he was Mickey Mouse. I got my mom to take a picture of us. He took the ears off, and I told him how exciting it was when I met Mickey Mouse.
When I was young, I used to believe that my life was a show on television. When I go to sleep I used to think that the show would put an ending theme (like who is the actor's real name and the producer etc.) I tried explaining to my mother that we are all in the show and someone is watching us so she would get really frustrated after a lot of explanations.
I somehow got the idea that if I boiled a rock, it would come to life. My dad disproved that...
I used to think rust stains on the concrete outside our house were marks caused by mini meteorites falling from the night sky. Turns out, no mini meteorites ever fell onto our driveway. I always worried one would hit me on the head.
When i was around 5 or 6, i use to think that spiders went up my bum when i was on the toilet so, everytime i needed a poo, i would look inside and around the toilet to make sure there was no spiders.
I used to believe that the people who appear on TV were inside of it and I tried to see them and I didn't understand what was happening.