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When i was little and i suppose now, I've always thought that Forks were male, spoons were femaile, and knives could be either.
I used to think that if you put a hair dryer to your face your eyes would be sucked out and live in the hair dryer. Every time my mother would pull one out i'd run around the house shouting 'Let it dry, let it dry, o dear god let it dry.'
I used to believe that the sizes of the beds were jack, queen, king and ace. jack being the smallest (like a twin bed) and ace being the biggest.
I used to believe every object had it's own feelings and if i dropped it it would be hurt. So if i accidently knocked something over i would have to apologise profusely to it to try and make it feel better. If i was around other people i would try and whisper "SORRY" to the item behind my hand so nobody saw...
I used to believe that there was a very angry lady inside the vacuum cleaner, and when it was turned on, she screamed and screamed. She was angry because we were making her eat the dirt on the floor.
I refused to vacuum for a long time, opting instead to "sweep." Hey, it got me out of vacuuming!
I used to watch "the brave little toster" all the time when i was very small. The movie scared the poop out of me everytime because at the end, all the cars get crushed by this big crushing thing, and they were all singing and trying to get away. They obviously didnt want to get killed. The worst part was when all the appliances got trapped on the conveyer belt to the crushing thing, and almost got killed.
It led me to belive that all appliances were alive, and had souls.
So one day i was in the laundry room and my dad was talking about how he was going to have to get rid of the washing machine. The only thing i could think of was saving it from being crushed to death, so i started bawling and screamed "I LOVE THAT WASHING MACHINE!!!! I LOVE THAT WASHING MACHINE"
my dad had to replace it in the middle of the night while i wasnt looking so i wouldnt get upset. I never noticed.
My sister used to believe that if you stood in front of the microwave while it was on, you could be zapped to another planet. Thus, when she felt like running away she would pack her bags and stand in front of the running microwave. If you tried to talk to her she would say "I can't hear you I am on another planet."
When my sister and I were about ages 3-5, we would believe that the ceiling stole our toys and socks. We thought this because in the morning, our toys would be on the floor (we wouldn't see them though), and our socks were off of our feet (they really slipped off during the night.) I remembered one time that I thought I saw the ceiling steal one of my toys.
When I was little would buy Tide detergent and on the back of the box there was a woman and her daughter doing the laundry together, but for some reason they didn't have a face. There was only an empty circle where the face should be. So, one day I asked my sister, who is nine years older than me, why they were faceless. And being the tormentor she always was, she told me they got the detergent on them and it made their faces fall off. Needless to say the began chasing me with the box and threatened to wash my face off, and she did so on a regular basis.
When I was 2 years old I use to think Ronald Mcdonald would come out of my wall and kill me if I didn't take a bath
For some reason I thought the agitator of a washing machine was properly called "a donkey". I developed my own theory to explain this. I thought that in the days before electricity, people would run their washers by having a donkey run 'round the machine in circles and generate power. Then, the agitator in a modern machine was named in honor of the faithful clothes washing donkeys of old.
When I was a little child, I was amazed by toasters. I thought that when you put bread in the toaster and pressed the handle down, the "Toast Gnomes" would be very thankful for your bread! In fact, the Toast Gnomes were so grateful they'd give you some toast of their own. I remember using the toaster for the first time ever, then saying "Dank woo Toast Nomez!" My mother was kind of scared that I was always talking to the toaster.
I used to believe that, somewhere in my house, there was a trapdoor under a piece of furniture. The trapdoor would lead to many secret, unexplored rooms or a little underground river with a boat.
My dad went to Japan before I was born. He brought alot back with him including plates and alot of wall art. Well when i was younger i would look at the wall art and be VERY afraid. I can't explain it, it might have been the pale woman holding umbrellas. I used to believe that I couldn't leave my room after the hall lights had been turned off or else these woman would jump out of their pictures, chase me down, and eat me.
I still remeber a few times sleeping under the couch in the living room because I hadn't gone to my room before the hall lights were turned off.
I once asked Santa if he could take the woman away. My parents were obviously confused. I still can't stand to look at them.
When I was about four, my mom figured that it was safe to take out those plastic things that cover electrical outlets. One day, I had my Little Mermaid tent set up and wanted to play with my Barbies in between the tent and the wall. Sadly, though, there was an outlet on that wall. I was freaking out and thought I would get electricuted. I thought being electricuted meant that lightning would come out of the outlet and shock you. So, I wanted to plug up the hole and could only gind metal bread twist ties. Let's just say I learned that metal and electricity are not a good match.
Me and my sister slept in bunk beds, me on bottom, Heather on top. I believed that since I was on the bottom, it was my job to support the top bunk with my legs so that Heather's bed wouldn't collapse. We'd get all ready for bed, and then I would insist that I get in bed first so that I could get my legs ready. My mom went along with it. Heather would get in bed and I'd get lay there with my covers on and my feet "holding" up the bed. My mom would keep checking back to see if we were asleep and she said my legs would stay up until I finally fell asleep. And when I'd wake up, I'd think "Phew. Somehow the bed stayed up even though my legs are down here now."
when i was 4 or 5 there was this spinning cabnet in our kitchen...and i used to think fraggles lived in the part of the cabnet i couldnt see. so when nobody was around i would talk to them hoping they would talk to me because fraggle rock was my favorite show.
when i was little i thought that the living room made sense. we lived in it. the dining room, on the other hand, did not (we ate in the kitchen and i didn't know what "dine" meant). i decided that it must be the dying room, so i was scared of it and would run through when ever i had to pass though it. seeing as it was the central room in the house and all other rooms, stair ways led off of it, i did a lot of unexplainable running.
When I was little I used to spend lots of time with my dad since my mom worked and he didn't. Usually that meant that i was in the garage a lot and dad was always hammering something. Until I was about 8 I thought that hammers were called dammits because that's what he usually said when he was using one.
I had two twin beds in my room and until I was 6, I refused to sleep in the one closest to the wall, because I knew if a car came slamming through the wall, it would hit that bed first and I'd be safe. Never mind that my room was in the middle of the house on the second story.