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I used to be certain that if my parents would go up and look in our crawl space, they would find a playhouse for me up there. I imagined it as a sort of flat yellow plastic bundle, but when my parents set it up in our front yard it would be quite big, with multiple rooms, and even a refrigerator, and I would be able to live there.
I also used to stare at my mother's sewing machine, thinking if I just knew which levers to push, gumballs would come out. But I knew she would yell at me if I touched it, so I never tried.
When I was a kid, we used to have a tv set with 7 channel buttons and one marked with "AV". We never used AV and once I asked my that what would that button do. "Well, son, the tv set would explode if you press it." I never pressed the AV button.
For some reason, I used to believe that if you put a potato in the dishwasher, it would grow a palm tree. I decided to try it, and was very disappointed when all that came out was a wet, soapy potato.
I used to think that the vacuum cleaner performed the same function as the lawnmower. They both made lots of noise, and something happened underneath where I couldn't see, and both were used weekly on all the surfaces I thought of as 'the ground'. I noticed that the carpet never seemed to really need a trim though, and I figured it just needed to be watered more often... Yes, I tried to water it, regularly... until I got caught, and it was explained to me that carpet was not alive.
When I was little I used to be terrified of fiberglass insulation. I used to think that if I got too close to it, it would reach out from the walls and suck me in and eat me alive.
When me and my family movd into our new house i was 10 and my sister was 8 1/2. The basement bathrooms wallpaper looked like the wallpaper in Willy Wonka and The chocolate factory where they licked it and a schnozberry tasted like a schnozberry and so on. Well my siter and were convinced and we spent hours licking the wallpaper, but never tasted a thing.
When I was 8, my uncle used to tell me that if I pressed the stop button on the television's remote, the television would explode. I didnt touch that remote until I was 12 in fear of blowing up the neighborhood.
I believed that if I touched the gray "snooze" button on my parent's alarm clock that I would become a girl. I believed this because when I was about 4 years old I had asked my mom what the button was for, and that was the explanation she gave me. I was afraid to go near it for years.
i used to believe that if you removed those "do not remove" tags on mattresses that the FBI would come crashing through the windows of my house and arrest me.
My mom use to make me vacuum our house all the time. She told me if i stopped vacuuming the carpet would catch on fire.... I believed it.
Because my mum used to ask me to put my dirty washing on the landing outside my bedroom, I believed for many years that it was actually the landing that washed my clothes!
I used to believe there was a little man inside the refrigerator who would turn the light on and off! I was about 3-4 yrs old and I would stand at the frig - opening and closing the door - just hoping to catch a glimpse of the little man!
I found my son doing the same thing when he was about 4yrs old - all I could do was laugh!
I had discovered that, the keys I found on the floor did NOT turn my house into a giant fighting robot when I stuck them in the power socket in my room.
So I tried the whole rest of them!
I always used to hate rewinding my videos when I was little, I thought that there were little people inside the VCR who did it manually and I felt bad making them work all the time.
Ok, when I was little my parents called our garbage disposal "the monster". So when I was done eating my parents would say to go feed my scraps to the monster. I was kinda scared that one night he might actually get too hungry and come out of the sink and eat my family....
When I was little I thought that every electronic and mechanical device had a secret explosive switch where if you turned the nob on the TV just so or jiggled the handle on the faucet to much to the right "BOOM". Needless to say I refused to run my own bath until I was 11 and I ended up playing outside a lot.
In my parents house growing up there was a mouse hole in the wall beside the stairs. I always skipped the step that the hole was on because I thought that if I stepped on it a long, ugly white scabby hand would come out of the hole and grab my ankle.
I still always skip that step out of habit....
When my mom would see me doing something dangerous or something that could end up badly, like leaning on open window or trying to get knife, she would tell me a story of a little girl who did the exactly same thing as me, and it would always end up badly.
I would always pity that little girl for all the hurtful things she experienced so far and wonder how she always ends up alive
I used belive when all the people were out of the house. All the inanimmate objects would have a party.
I use to believe that all the homes were taken by the road side because every where we move it was a house down a long path.