skip the menu

A childhood belief about weeing and pooing

As a child (under four years old or so) I was slow to become potty trained. I was faring fine with number one, but as for poo-poo, I was still doing that in my pants at an age my mother thought was much too old to still not be "housebroken" as she often called it. Maybe she didn't really intend to compare me to a dog; she did have a habit of getting terms confused sometimes. Like one time I heard her refer to the transmission on her car as the "intermission". I pointed it out to her. She got real pissed and vehemehtly denied saaying "intermission" for transmission. Anyhow, back to the main story. To scare me into getting "housebroken", she made up story (at least I guess it was original with her) that, once I was five years old or more, any turds I did in my pants would turn into rattlesnakes and bite me. It must have worked, because I don't much remember shitting in my pants after that. But there was this one incident. By the fourth grade, my mom had me walking home from school every day. It was a bit over a mile. Then it happened. One day about halfway home, I had an urgent shit suddenly come on, that there seemed no way I could hold in until I got home. But I tried with all my might, terrified of the rattlesnake it could turn into. But then, some came out in my pants for all I could do. Desperate, I ran behind a bush in a stranger's yard, dropped my pants and dumped that turd like a hot potato, much relieved to see that it hadn't become a rattlesnake yet. But just as I started to pull up my pants up, I clearly felt more coming. What was I to do? I stayed there behind that push and doodooed the rest of my load there. Better than venomous fangs in my bottom! Afterwards I bolted for home in a hurry without wiping. Walking the rest of the way made my butt sore. It stayed that way for what seemed days (probably an exaggeration). But I didn't mind too much! Better a sore anus than a rattlesnake bite!

— Dorothy

others believed things like this

more about weeing and pooing →