A childhood belief about creepy crawlies

When I was little I lived in a cozy little neighbourhood, but in the spring, we'd got tons of fuzzy caterpillars. Now I love bugs, but I noticed that every time a kid steped on one of the poor things, that the caterpillar would gush out red and yellow guts. This looked an awful lot like ketchup and mustard, and I took this for true. I boasted to everyone that caterpillars were the ones who made ketchup and mustard. Despite the weird looks I got from people, I was sure I was right.

Now, my mother made hotdogs for lunch one day, but lo and behold, she didn't check for condements! But that was OK, because I had all the ketchup and mustard I needed... outside. While the hotdogs were still sitting out, I got a bunch of caterpillars, held them over the hot wieeners, and squeezed their guts out. When mom came into the room, she was quite pleased to find that her little girl had found some condments. When she took that first bite, I don't think I ever heard anyone scream so loud in my life when mom saw the dead, de-gutted caterpillars. After I explained my "brilliant" idea, she tanned my butt and I was forced to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while the rest of the family had pizza.