A childhood belief about periods

When I was 10-13, my dad decided it was time to tell me about my period. Not wanting to go into detail (or maybe he didn't know?), he just said, and I quote, "One day, you'll pee, and it'll be red, and that's your period." That's all he said. So I had to figure some stuff out on my own...

I knew periods were red, but on the tampon comercials, the stuff they pour on the tampons is blue! So I reasoned that the blue came from the horrible "cramps" everyone was talking about. But why were cramps so bad? Because they are little balls (about an inch in diamiter), that are covered in spikes. The period tries to push the cramp out (one cramp a month), but it gets stuck in the, uh, pee-hole, because it's too big to fit through. The spikes are then pressed into your body, which hurts, until the period is too strong to be held back, and it breaks the cramp open so it can get disolved back into the body. Inside the cramp is the blue stuff, which then comes out with the "red pee".

It wasn't until I was 15, when I got my period, that I realized just how wrong I was... Oh, and my dad denies that he ever called a period "red pee".