A childhood belief about sweeties

When I was a young one, i absoutley LOVED ice cream sandwiches with next to all I held dear. Everytime the folks brought some home from the store, I'd be the first one to gobble up five in a day and gladly help with the groceries...,my precious sweet sandwiches as my first target.

So naturally, my older brother, who liked the treats from heaven as much as I did, got annoyed and one day told me that if I ate too many, I'd grow fat enough to crush our stove. But that didn't work, hence my high metabolism. Then he let his imagination rip as he claimed the vanilla ice cream was indeed frozen lard and mucus drained from the dead bodies at the mourge and ground chilled ear cartiladge. And he didn't stop there. He said the chocolate graham crackers were in fact mashed boogers, smashed by people's feet like wine grapes in a huge bathtub except these people had foot corns, and gangrene and hadn't washed their feet in weeks and never changed their socks.

Not gullible as most children, I asked why the dessert tasted so good, and he sophisticatedly said they had "flavor-enhancing technology" and that all the mucus slime and boggers had been frozen and "enhanced" to the "seemilngly" delicious bar I so loved to eat.

After telling my father (the fountain of all truth) , who was just as fed up with my ice cream sandwhch gluttony, went along with my brother and with a strait face said it was true.

Needless to say, my brother had all the ice cream sandwhiches he could stomach.