A childhood belief about rude bits

The full assortment of functions the penis provides was confusing to me as a child.

When I was 9, we went on a school trip out to the middle of nowhere, and after we'd been on the road for a while, I really needed to pee. The driver told me to just hold on, so I resorted to what I always do when I have to pee and can't get to a toilet: rub my crotch vigorously.

The older kids turned around and stared at me with mischievous grins on their faces. One asked, "Why are you doing that?"

I answered, "It makes it feel better." (At the time, I didn't understand why they were giggling about me.)

Today, I'm not sure I still believe that masturbating lessens my urge to pee. In fact, 2-3 years later, I discovered my Dad's erotica collection, which described in great detail the sticky white fluid that comes out of penises when rubbed. This had never happened to me, but I really wanted to make it happen, so, for the first time, I masturbated to orgasm. Nothing came out. So I thought you had to force it out consciously. Pee came out. For the next year or two, until my body started producing semen, I peed while masturbating, thinking that was what was supposed to happen, and that my semen was simply thinner and yellower than other men's. My parents threw out that mattress.