A childhood belief about sex

Alright, I've been reading these and thinking I had *THE* most distorted notion of sex. Here goes:

When I was a tot, my parents were loud. Not average loud or exceptionally loud, but jet plane loud. Every word, breath, moan, grunt and bed squeak would echo through the house. Sometimes they'd get so entheusiastic they'd forget to close thier door, making it that much louder. So I'd wake up to a terrible racket and lay there, listening.

For some reason (and I have NO idea why) I was convinced that Dad was laying next to Mom, both naked, and he was somehow forcing her to make a dark, watery fluid come out of her "privates". (I didn't know exactly what a woman had "down there" at the time.) It was clearly painful and exhausting for her to make the fluid, which explained her screams and breathing.

His groans and noises were caused by him restraining her and forcing the fluid out.

I thought he collected this fluid in a shallow container and ran his hands through it, in the dark bedroom, feeling for something. Why? What exactly? Who knows?

Anyway, I'm perfectly normal now. Really. No psychological scars. Maybe the occasional uncontrollable twitching, but nothing you'd not expect.

Anyway...top that!