A childhood belief about around the house

I Used To Believe...

I used to believe that when it thundered
It was the really the clouds bumping into each other
The rain came down, the clouds said hello
Casting a shadow on the young girl below.

I used to believe you asked God for a baby
He would then plant a seed in your belly, maybe.
I guess that belief was somewhat right,
Although it really happens in a bed, at night.


On that note, I used to believe,
You had to go to the doctor to conceive.
You would both put on a hospital gown,
Then on a cold metal table, you’d both lie down.

I used to believe that you’d find the devil
If you dug too deep in the ground with a shovel.
I called over to my gardening neighbor with a yell,
“You know, if you keep digging, you’ll dig straight to hell!”

When I learned the news, my breakfasts turned into horror
When my sister teased, “Guess who moved in next door?”
His hair was stringy white, and his name was Sam.
Our new neighbor, I thought, was the Quaker Oatmeal Man.

I used to believe that Euthenasia
Involved the study of the children in Malaysia.
This got corrected in a high school class
When I raised my hand; made myself look like an ass.


Another belief I also bore
Was that A.D. really stood for “After Dinosaurs”.
It really means in the year of the Lord
Clearly in Latin class, I daydreamed, bored.


I used to believe when you drank too much booze
Your blood got thin, that’s why you got loose.
Then I learned, what’s really to blame
Is the alcohol, pickling your brain.

Looking back on the things that I thought,
Some of them right, many of them not.
I realized I will never know it all,
We are all pretty clueless, after all.