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When I was five, I was such a ditz that when I cried, I thought that the world really did become distorted (like how it looks through tears).
There's a scene in Mary Poppins, where Mary's uncle is floating in the air laughing, then when the others laugh, they also float. Mary and Bert describe the uncle as "contagious", so my cousin and I thought that he had some sort of disease that made him float. We called it "the float-when-you-laugh disease".
When I was little I believed that if you were eating while going #2 you would fart REALLY loud and continue to fart loud over and over until after you'd swallowed the food. I always made sure to swallow any food before sitting down!
When I was little I did not know that when you throw up you are throwing up food that you ate previously. I thought it was just nasty junk coming out. It wasn't until age 8-9 and I got a stomach bug that I realized that what I was throwing up was that afternoon's lunch. It was even more revolting when I figured that out.
I heard my dad say that he thought the computer had a virus, and that made me worry that everyday objects could get "sick" and therefore spread germs if you tried to use them.
Up until I was *eleven*, I thought "anxiety" was just a word for any negative emotion, the reason being that a lot of my school peers thought I was afraid when I was actually sad/angry.
Not me, but one old school friend of mine used to believe that "chamber" meant urine because of the phrase "chamber pot".
At school, my swim teacher told me to run to the changing rooms, dry myself and get changed as quickly as possible or else "a cold might catch me."
I think it was a cross between the myth that being cold or wet makes you catch a cold, plus her desire to make me not dawdle. I was always skeptical but I never outright disbelieved it until later.
She'd describe said "cold" as being a huge, slimy green monster and when it caught you, you'd sneeze once, then fall sick with a cold.
At one point, I sneezed and she jokingly said, "That cold has caught you!". It was actually hayfever, but I freaked out.
She'd sometimes state that she could see the "cold" and I was wondering why I couldn't.
When I told her that I'd never been assaulted by a green monster, she said that the cold must be a very slow runner or I was a very fast runner.
At one point, I was scared because I thought I had slime on me and that "the cold" had caught me, but it turned out to only be a snail.
I thought that you could only catch a cold in the winter. I knew that germs made you catch colds and that being cold alone doesn't make you catch a cold, but because it was called a "cold", I thought you could only catch one in winter. Then, Dad caught a cold in summer and explained that you could actually catch colds in the summer. P.S. he's fine now.
When I almost choked to death one time and when I vomited, I thought people had two holes inside their necks; one for food and one for ‘water’. If you eat too fast and the food goes in the ‘water’ hole, you choke. If you drink too fast and the ‘water’ goes in the food hole, you vomit.