body functions

i used to think tampons were some kind of air freshener and whenever i saw one in my mom’s pocket book i would rip the plastic off and sit, waiting for a fresh scent to fill the room. i also would open them and leave full tampons and applicators around after pooping bc they’re air fresheners

ava

I used to belive that the wrists blood vessel gave me magical power.

Anon

When I was little I used to think that my mom was a mermaid because she never went swimming with me

Martina

I used to believe that people got babies when they got hurt and at the hospital they would give the baby as a reward. This was because when my cousin was born I asked my parents “ How did auntie get her?” They’re reply was that my aunt was wearing high heels and she slipped, so she was taken to the hospital and they gave her a baby of her choice. So one time I was throwing up a lot and then I was taken to the hospital. When the doctor said we can go back home I asked “ But where’s my baby?”. The doctor was speechless and my parents looked at eachother embarrassed.

🐼

I used to believe girls peed out of their butt.

Bob

One time I was sleeping over my friend’s house and I didn’t feel good. I didn’t tell her mom because I was afraid that she would take my temperature rectally because that’s how my mom always did it. When my mom took me home next morning I went right into bed and I had 105.5! When I told my friend she said that her mom had switched her to an ear thermometer!

Abby

When I was five, I was such a ditz that when I cried, I thought that the world really did become distorted (like how it looks through tears).

Anon

There's a scene in Mary Poppins, where Mary's uncle is floating in the air laughing, then when the others laugh, they also float. Mary and Bert describe the uncle as "contagious", so my cousin and I thought that he had some sort of disease that made him float. We called it "the float-when-you-laugh disease".

Anon

When I was little I believed that if you were eating while going #2 you would fart REALLY loud and continue to fart loud over and over until after you'd swallowed the food. I always made sure to swallow any food before sitting down!

Anon