body functions

I used to think women peed out their buttholes, and that their vaginas were just for babies. I always wondered if they could pee and poop at the same time.

i thought that when boys had to poop they pooped (in a urinal) so when they where done peeing the would turn around and poop ewwwwwwwwwww

I used to believe that if I got a concussion, I would die. I also
thought that whenever you hit your head, you would get a concussion. Once I hit my head. You can imagine how upset I was...

I used to believe…

When I was little and being potty trained, my family was having a picnic with friends when I needed to have a wee. There were no toilets around so my mum plonked me on some tree roots (at the bottom of a tree) and told me to wee there. I ended up doing a wee on the grass, because I believed that if you weed on the bottom of a tree, then you would have to live in that tree forever. everyone was watching me while I was squatting to go wee wees on the grass. That was my most embarrassing story, even though I was young....

I used to believe…

As a child i saw two younger siblings come home from the hospital. When i saw their umbelical cords i thought that was how they pooped before they were born, and after they were born they switched to their bottom.

I used to believe…

When I was little my grandma told me that I shouldn't play with needles (she used to sew a lot) she told me that if a needle fell in the floor and I stepped on it that the needle would get into my blood stream and the blood stream would go so fast that I would never have the chance to pull it out in time. She also said that the needle would travel through my bloodstream and get into my heart, make a hole on it and I would die in matter of minutes. I am still paranoid about this. I don't think I would ever like to prove my grandma wrong.

I used to believe…

When I was little I loved to run arround barefoot in my grandma's back yard. At some point me and my cousin got worms in our intestines. My grandma told me that we got the worms by walking barefoot in the ground. She said that the worms would get inside of you through the pores on your feet. To this day I don't walk barefoot in the ground and I can't touch an earth worm.

I used to believe that all of my body fluids inside me would pour out of my vagina when I was doing a wee. I tried holding it in for about three days, but I had to go to the doctor because I had a water infection. I then had to have a wee in a bedpan to show the dctor the usual color of my wee.

I thought that bow legged people walked funny - so I would practice walking with "one foot in front of the other" like the Christmas song from "The Christmas that almost wasn't" so I wouldn't walk bowlegged. Now men comment on the way I walk - I have a swish ....

I don't know where I got the idea from, but up until I was 8 or 9, I had an interesting theory about butterflies. It was obvious to me that the reason they could fly was because their wings were covered in dust. Magic dust. If I were to catch enough butterflies and rub their dust on my arms, I would be able to fly.

Many butterflies died in those few years. I decided to find another way off the ground.

I used to believe that when a baby is in the mothers tummy, it weed through the umbilical cord at the same time as the woman would have a wee. Wow thats a lot of wee wee!

I used to believe…

When i was in grade five one of my favorite comic characters was Ice Man. I dont remember there being an ice woman so I took it into my head to be his new Ice Woman. I began eating ice everyday before and after school. And in the evenings I would run the lengh of our block concentrating hard to spew ice out of my fingers and jumping high trying to fly off the ground. That was one of my many fantastical beliefs ......as an adult my imagaination still runs away from me ...i just dont act on them as i used to

I used to believe…

My grandma was always warning me about the horrors of ingrown toenails. I thought she meant a toenail that would travel up your leg and twist around the inside of your body.

I used to believe that when humans slept, our spirits came out to play and fly around the earth all night, and we wouldn't wake up unless the spirit decided to come back inside of us. I thought that dreams weren't really dreams but all the things that our spirits had done and seen while they were flying around.

I used to believe…

When I was little I never connected eating and elimination. I thought that any food you ate stayed inside you until you got the flu and puked it up. Consequently, I thought eveyone had to get the flu once a year or they would fill up and be unable to eat again until they'd vomited. I also knew someone who stopped eating as a child because she saw her uvula at the back of her throat and thought that it was backed up food. She was afraid she was running out of room in her body and wanted to save what little space she had left for sweets.

I used to believe…

When i was younger, my mom always told me to finish my veggies and said, "You'd better keep eating or else it'll get cold." this made me thik that every time you took a bite, your food would magically re-heat!